Real or Not Real? (Tronnor) (boyxboy) (completed)

Chapter 33

Connor's POV

His eyes are empty. Nothing like how they used to be. They used to be full of life and happiness. But now. Nothing. They've lost all signs of life even if he is still breathing. The scary thing is, I'm not sure how long he can keep on.

I want desperately to bring the life back. To bring back the color. The happiness. I don't know how, but I'm trying my hardest. For him. For Troye. 

"I want to leave" he says, his voice barely above a whisper. I shake my head even though he isn't looking at me.

"You can't leave" I say and he turns his head to face me. He gets on his hands and knees to crawl up towards me, falling in the spot next to me on my bed. I wrap my arms around him and he lays his head on my chest. "You can't leave me here alone" I say and he shakes his head.

"I don't mean like. Die. I mean just get away. But forever. You can come with me. I just can't stay here" he says and I shake my head.

"We don't have the money to leave, Troye. Not right now" I say and he smiles. He kisses my neck and then my lips

"I've been saving up money for years, Con. I didn't know what it was for. I was just saving. But we could use that. We could make it" he says, his eyes full of something I haven't seen in so long. Hope.

I think about all that could go wrong. Oh god, there's so many things that could go wrong. But then again. What could go right? I could spend the rest of my life with Troye. We could experience new things together. We could get married. Maybe kids.

"At least think about it. Please." Troye says. I look down at him and smile. I kiss his forehead and pull him closer, still imagining our future. We could make it. We could have a forever together. But where would we go? Away from here I know. I just don't know where.

"Where would we go?" I ask. He climbs on top of me, straddling my lap and leans down to kiss my forehead.

"Don't worry. I've been planning this for years" he says and I immediately stop worrying. Momentarily anyways. I nod, hesitant, and he brings one hand up to my forehead. He runs his thumb over the crease in between my eyebrows as if to smooth it out and I smile. I nod my head and he laughs. A real laugh that goes all the way to his eyes, giving them life. I missed that.

I see a tear form in his eye, but he's smiling. It rolls down his cheek and falls onto my shirt. He looks down at it but then brings his eyes back to meet mine. I reach up and wipe away another tear that is about to fall down his cheek.

"Are we going to make it?" Troye asks and that's when I choke up. I feel a lump start to form in my throat but I nod. We will. I know we will.

"Of course. Of course we're going to make it." I pull him down and kiss him, putting as much love into this as I can. I know we're going to make it. It will be hard, sure. But I know we'll be okay.

He breaks the kiss and goes back to our earlier position with my arms wrapped around his small frame and his head on my chest. I bring my hand to the hem of his shirt, sliding underneath and feeling his warm skin on my fingertips. I feel him shiver and I pull him closer, kissing his hair.

"We're going to make it. I promise" I whisper. He nods slightly and wraps his legs around mine. I rub circles on his back and feel the muscles in his back loosen up.