A Nightmare's Fate

Cherishing the Moment

Chapter Thirty-four: Cherishing the Moment

Keeping quiet about what I had heard last night, I try my best to not bother Errik. But once he asks me to go on a hike with him, I don’t know if I should accept or decline. But once his begging eyes glitter with high hopes, I have to tell him yes.

            On our way through the forest, we make a quick stop to take a breathing treatment and some sips of water. Sitting on a large boulder, tying my shoe tennis shoes, I briskly ask, “What has been eating at you, Errik?” It doesn’t take long for his face to go sour and his expression to look as if he’s going through many thoughts and memories. Trying my best to not seem like someone who is nosey, I put my feet down onto the ground and pat the rock in the spot next to me for him to sit down. “Let’s finish that talk we started yesterday,” I continue on. “You feel guilty? Of what?”

            “That . . . my . . . father is dying . . .”

            “You’re lying,” I say. “Why?”

            Sighing in deeply, he says, “I just don’t know what to tell you, how to tell you.” Pausing for a few moments, he then begins again as he has been opening and closing his mouth multiple times; too many to count, actually. “Are you ready? I mean, are you sure you think yer ready to move on? Ya lost yer fiancé, someone so close to you, do you think we—”

            He gets cut off from my lips against his, as we exchange our kisses as my palm grasps his cheek and our eyes are closed. I know that I have to be ready, even though everyone else doubts it. It’s been long enough, but is length of time the reason? Or is it when I actually forget Kenton? Or is it when I feel happy again? I’m happy with Errik; I truly am. He has finally made me see the rainbow beyond the rain, behind the dark clouds. He’s been with me ever since the day we bumped into each other at the park; he’s been making happy ever since I told him about what happened. I shared my pain with him and he has shared his own. What’s stopping us from loving each other?

            The thoughts of Kenton which leaves you in dismay, Ray—you can’t let go. But I had already let go! Why are my thoughts and memories always taking over my cognizant? Why can’t I be content for once? You haven’t let go yet; you’re too scared to and you’re in renunciation.

            I force my mouth against his like my lips is a moth and his is light. I want to apprehend what the source is and why is draws me in. I want to know, I need to know. Just like needing to know if I am honestly ready for this. Revering the moment, I respire harder as we both kiss back. It feels as if we are needed to do this anyways like it’s right to do this.

            Rain falls down onto our heads and we ignore it. He stands up and I mimic his movement so our lips don’t break apart. My back hits against a tree and we become fiercer and I can feel his breath on my skin as I know he feels mine too. He kisses my neckline and it’s like I haven’t done this in a long time. You haven’t, I think. Falling to the ground, I pull him with me and we kiss even more as the rain falls harder.

            Lying on me, he holds himself up from both of his hands in the mud and his legs on either side of me as he leans down to kiss me.

            The memories of us meeting run through my mind—the day at the park and the butterflies I had in my stomach; the way how my legs buckled and weakened as my eyes gazed into his, and the way his smile has always made me feel a little unsure of my crush on him, but now, it all comes clear. I have always felt infatuated by him and now that we’re together, I know that I love him.