A Nightmare's Fate

Phobia

Chapter Twenty-eight: Phobia

“Goodbye,” I say as Johnavine hands me the suitcase by the handle. Now that I have been here an entire month, I have a lot of clothes and some souvenirs from my stay.

            “It’s been awesome to have ya, Raven,” Cattee compliments, and I can’t help but blush.

            We hug and I can feel tears starting to form in my eyes, so I get out of it before I actually begin to cry. “As I had already said; it was a pleasure to be here.” She kisses my head and I kiss her cheek. Honestly, to say goodbye to her is like saying bye to my mother because throughout this month it feels as if I’ve already known Cattee for a long time.

            “We’ll see ya soon,” Johnavine promises and hugs me too.

            “Bye dad.” Errik waves and we go through the doors to the outside world, away from his lovely parents.

            We walk up the steps of the small plane and I realize it’s a private one. “Hey, how is this private?”

            “Oh, my cousin let us borrow it; thought it would be better.”

            “Your cousin has a plane?”

            “Yes,” he confirms.

            “Wow,” is all I can say. One of the flight attendants takes our bags to a storage unit and we sit in the grey leather chairs. Once we get buckled in, the engine starts and we take off into the air.

            Staring out the window, I feel a small pain in the pit of my stomach to say goodbye to Ireland, to say goodbye to his wonderful family, to say goodbye to the stress free life I lived here. Up here in the air, a weight has been put on my shoulders once again and I feel like stress will wash me away when we get to the airport and see Periwinkle, Jessie, and Freddy, when I’m reminded of my past, of my house, of my life there in New York.

            “Yer not scared?” Errik’s voice breaks my train of thought.

            From being frightened of my life back in NYC, I’m not scared of heights. But why am I not afraid? I should be, yet I’m not. “I don’t know,” I tell him honestly. “It’s like everything I’m going back to is scaring me more than just height.”

            “Yer anxious to go back,” he states. “It’s fine to be nervous; everyone is.”

            “I just . . . I don’t want to go back; my life there is more painful than anything else. I live in fear—”

            “Raven, it’s going to be all right,” he says, unbuckling his seatbelt and kneeling down next to my chair, hugging me. “All will be fine,” he repeats over and over as I wrap my arms around his neck, feeling like he actually cares about me. I feel like I can really trust him, like he’s there for me when he doesn’t need to but is.

            Crying in his chest, I grasp his shirt tighter and he cries with me, too.

*~*~*~*~*

I awaken to sunlight hitting my eyes; Errik’s body is right next to mine on the same exact chair. He never left his place. The thought puts a small smile on my face, but quickly vanishes when my eyes scan the window.

            We’re circling New York.

            The skyscrapers reflect the sunshine off of their windows and snow piles up to the kazoo on the ground and on roofs of buildings. To see this view up here is like a whole a new world, like it’s something special that shouldn’t be left unseen, but I know I have to turn away; I know that I won’t be able to see it once the wheels of the plane touch the ground.