The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword

Grieving

Nikki

Skylar is strong, she's so insanely strong that it hurts me a bit. She was strong when I was weak and in a hospital bed in Paris. She was strong when her mother died. She was strong last night as we laid in that hospital bed. But some times I wonder if she's too strong for her own good.

Skylar woke up this morning after sleeping for only about four hours and went to work today. I know she's hurting but her grieving means Sky is going to pretend that she has no emotions until she feels better.

Which isn't good for her but she has the right idea, since no one knew about Sky being pregnant no one can know why we're upset. We just kinda have to live with the pain until it doesn't hurt anymore. We have to move past this.

So we got back from the hospital at about four o'clock in the morning, at which point we were dead asleep before we even hit the bed. Sky woke up at eight because she has a day full of meetings with the board of directors or the legion of the undead as she calls them. I had to get up too because I had to meet Vince, Mick, and Tommy in the studio to polish up the album that's supposed to come out next year. I mean I'm still half asleep so trying to play the proper notes usually doesn't go all that well. I've dropped more notes than I care to admit to and I know that the guys are picking up on it.

"Okay, so I'll ask." Tommy says after I drop a note for the seventh or eighth time. "What's going on in that head of yours, Nik?"

"Yeah, you look worse than you did when you were in withdrawal." Vince says and I roll my eyes.

"Thanks." I mutter and Tommy laughs.

"Seriously, what's going on?" Mick asks and I sigh.

"Got four hours of sleep. We spent most of the night at the hospital." I explain.

"Really?" All three of them ask.

"Did you relapse?" Vince wonders.

"Is Skylar okay?" Mick wonders.

"Did you guys get into it and your neighbours call nine one one?" Tommy wonders.

"No, Skylar miscarried last night." I say before I can stop myself.

"What!?" All three of them yell at me.

"Skylar is going to murder me!" I hiss. "You can't tell her that I told you!"

"Why didn't you tell us?!" Vince demands.

"Because we just found out, and we had one doctors appointment, and then she miscarried all in less than two weeks." I explain. "You guys can't tell her that I told you."

"Scared of your girl, Sixx?" Tommy wonders with a laugh.

"Yeah! And her grandparents and your brothers in law." I say and motion to Vince.

"Two very large, very intimidating, football playing points." The singer agrees with me.

After we finished at the recording studio I headed back home. I pull up to the driveway to see Skylar's Corvette, my girl is home. I walk in the front door.

"Hey babe, where are you?" I yell into the house.

She walks into the kitchen doorway and looks at me. Skylar crosses her arms and leans in the doorway, she looks pissed and hot but mostly pissed. I walk over to her and go to put my hands on her hips but she turns around and walks into the kitchen. I sigh, this is going to be fun.

"Okay, what did I break, forget, or do?" I ask as I follow her into the kitchen.

"Did you tell Alex I was knocked up? Because it was only the two of us that knew, I sure as hell didn't tell her, and we have a very angry pregnant model on our phone." Skylar tells me.

"Okay in my defence I didn't tell Alex, I accidentally told Vince, Mick, and Tommy." I say and I can see anger fill her face.

"Why did you do that?!" She demands.

"Why does it matter?" I scream.

"Because it does!" Skylar yells back.

"I don't understand what the big deal is, they're like my family and they deserve to know." I state.

"Alex is my family but I didn't tell her! I miss carried, something inside me went wrong! Now it's going to get down to Alabama and go all the way through the redneck grape vine." Skylar yells. "It's going to get twisted and turned and--"

She cuts herself off and drops her gaze to the floor. Skylar quickly wipes her cheeks before she thinks I see her cry.

"I fucked up doing the one thing every woman should be able to do." She says quietly. "How did I manage to do that?" Skylar asks herself quietly and sits down on the kitchen. "What if I can't ever do it?"

Then it all clicks in my head, Skylar is taking out her frustration on me without meaning too. This is affecting her more than she's letting on. I sit down on the floor beside her and grab her hand. I kiss her knuckles and Skylar leans into me.

"I'm sorry that I yelled." She says quietly.

"Baby, it's fine. You're hurting and I can see that. You can't bull your way through this one." I tell her.

"I don't like this feeling." Skylar admits. "I feel like I've fail or something. Like what if it happens again?"

"I don't think it will." I tell her.

"Nikki, how the hell can you be sure?" She wonders.

"Because bad luck doesn't last forever." I promise her and kiss her temple. "I love you no matter what though."

"I love you too." Skylar yawns and I smile.

"Want to go to bed?" I wonder.

"Yeah but to sleep." She tells me and I laugh.

"That's what I meant." I assure her and she smiles.

"No it's not." Skylar tells me and pecks my lips. "You lie." She laughs.