The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword

Coffee Conversations

I had called my mom this morning and told her that I wanted to walk Scorpio so I asked her if she could grab the coffee and we could go to the park or something. Mainly I didn't want to face her alone, Nikki might not be on the continent but Scorpio is here. I guess it's the next best thing. Though Scorpio is about as intimating as a ladybug but it's better than nothing.

I walk towards the coffee shop with Scorpio. I see my mom sitting at one of the outside cafe tables. I walk over to her and Scorpio sits down beside my foot.

"Hi Skylar." She says and I half smile.

"Hi, how much do I owe you for the coffee?" I wonder.

"Cara, it's coffee. Please don't act like you have to pay me back." She says as she stands up. "I guess this must be your dog?" She asks as she scratches behind his ears.

"Yeah, this is Scorpio." I say. "He's my baby."

"He's really beautiful." She says.

"Uh, what do I call you?" I wonder. "I mean I feel like I should be calling you mom but--I, uh."

"You can call me what ever makes you comfortable." She says. "Call me Monique for now and we'll see where we go from there."

"Okay, sounds good." I agree. "There's a dog park around here, Scorpio could run around and we could sit on a bench and talk?"

"Okay, sounds good." Monique agrees.

We walk towards the park and we get there I unleash Scorpio and he runs off towards a bulldog and a shitzu. There's a blonde girl sitting on a bench across the park and she nods a bit. I laugh as we sit down.

Alexandria is playing protective best friend and I know she is. I told her about this before I left the house and here she is. I love Alex and she's my best friend for things like this. She's hear to protect me even though she knows I can protect myself. Actually, screw the best friend thing, this broad is my fucking sister!

"So how have you been?" Monique asks.

"I've been good." I say and smiles.

"And your grandparents?" She wonders.

"They're good. Gramps kept dad's old Knucklehead." I say and she lights up.

"I loved that Knucklehead so much." She admits. "You know, your father and I rode all over the place on that bike. Then you came along and then the band got big, we didn't get to ride together so much. Do you remember riding on it?"

"No." I admit. "I didn't even know that it ran until Nikki and I went to Alabama."

"You dad would've liked Nikki, I think." Monique guesses. "Your dad liked anyone who loved bikes and anyone who loved you."

"Do you remember that time when Uncle Ronnie and dad got piss drunk on Alex's grandfather's shine?" I wonder and she laughs.

"Your gramps used to make shine, they were ridge runners." She explains and I nod.

"Gramps spent an hour telling Nikki stories about running shine. Nikki and Gramps really hit it off, Nik loves hearing his stories." I explain and she smiles.

"Your grandfather always has the best stories." Monique sighs. "I miss them, I tried to talk to them but they wouldn't hear me out."

"Can you blame them in all honesty?" I wonder. "I mean, you did leave them to raise your daughter."

"I can't blame them but--"

"Monique, with all due respect you have to learn how to apologize." I say and she looks at me. "You have yet to apologize to me and I bet if you apologize to them they'll give you half a chance." She sighs.

"How are you driving and flying after your dad and Uncle Ronnie died?" She asks.

I guess I'm not going to get an apology yet.

"Sure, I'm afraid of what might lead to my death: car accidents, plane crashes, drowning. But, I'm more afraid of what won't kill me: people dying, people leaving, the silences that seem to never end. It's the idea of having to live through something scares me, not the end itself." I explain. "I've lived through my father dying, my uncle dying, and my mother leaving me and it's put me through hell and back." I push up my sleeves reviling the inside of my arms where old white scars shine against my skin. "It nearly killed me but I'm strong. I'm strong but I'm not strong enough to do it all again."

Monique looks at my arms then me and then the ground. She forces a smile and stands up.

"It was nice catching up with you, I'll call you and we can do it again sometime. It was nice to see you again, Skylar." She says as walks away.

"Well shit." I mumble and stand up. "Scorpio!" I call.

See when I call my dog in return I got Scorpio, Stella, Smudge, and Vince Neil's  wife. Alexandria stands beside me as I clip Scorpio's leash to his collar.

"How did that go?" She wonders and I shrug.

"Pretty sure I pushed her away indefinitely." I say and Alex smiles.

"What did you tell her?" Alex asks.

"Well for starters I told her that she should apologize. Then I showed her how being left affected me." I say and I roll my sleeves back down. "I didn't tell her anything that wasn't true."

"Oh well, her problem." Alex smiles as we walk out of the dog park. "You don't need her."

When I get into Nikki's I lock the door behind me and take Scorpio off his leash. He runs off into the house and I walk into the kitchen. I pull a bottle of beer out of the fridge and I see that the answering machine is flashing. Hmm, maybe it's Nikki. I walk over to the machine and press the button.

"Hey sugar bean, I just got the strangest call." My grandmother's voice plays over the machine. "I just got off the phone with your mother. And, well, she apologized for everything. Now I don't know if she's just doing this as a ploy to get back in with us but maybe you should call her. I don't know. I love you, sugar bean and I'll call you later."

"Well shit." I mutter and smile. "She actually listened to me."

Maybe something did register with her.