Butterfly

Fourteen

A knife.

"Hana.. Put that down." I slowly approached her, but she gives me a nonchalant face. Looking at me with those eyes full with emptiness. "Why are you here?" She asked me, her voice is boring and pissed off. "Hana," I called out to her again and she suddenly talked. "I'm tired,"

"I'm tired of all this crap." She added. "Are you okay? I wanted to check in with you because you haven't seemed yourself lately." I softly mumbled, as she slowly turned to look at me with her nonchalant face. But then her frowned suddenly break when I could see the pain and the tears in her eyes.

Her hand dropped the knife, letting it dropped on the ground. "Hana..?" I approached her slowly and knee down on the ground, a few inches away from her. Her tears rushed out of her eyes immediately, but her cries are so silent, no one could listen to her. Then I see something in her, she's seeking for help in silent, hoping that someone would come.

"I wish I hadn't been born," she cries, her voice trembles, her tears keep flowing out of her eyes. "I shouldn't be living."

"I shouldn't been born, baekhyun-ah."

A sudden pain can be feel in my chest, looking at Hana makes it worse. "Did something happen that made you start feeling this way?" I asked her. I silently looked at her as she cries, her hands gripping her clothes so tight, no sense of letting go can be seen. "Every time I get closed to someone, they would be taken away. Every single time. I can't even be a good daughter or friends before they left me,"

"Everyone was making fun of me because I don't have a father, and now they're making fun of me because my mom is hospitalized. What did I do wrong?" Her voice raised by the moment she speaks. She looked down on the ground, her tears dropped on the ground multiple times. Her cries sound painful and hurt, stirring my emotions.

The images of the girl keep popping out in my mind, and how much I regretted back then. I have to do this right, I thought to myself.

"Are you having thoughts about suicide?" I carefully picked my words, waiting for her to look up and reply. Her sobs stopped a while and she lifted her head to look at me. Her eyes looked at me, pull with pain, piercing me right on the heart. That look is the exact same face she wore before. She suddenly cried out loud, not even say anything, just cry.

Her cries echoed across her room, maybe to downstairs even. She hits the floor with her small fist, her condition right now, showed me how fragile she actually is.

I sit near to her and wrapped my arms around her as she cries. "I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and I wanna help," I patted her head. "When you want to give up, tell yourself you will hold off for just one more day, hour, minute-whatever you can manage. And I'll help you."

She hold the back of my shirt tightly, her cries are louder than before. Her cries are sorrowful. I'm grateful that I dropped by.

----

She fell asleep in my arms while I was calming her down. I put her on the bed and pulled the blanket over her body. I left the room and went downstairs, trying to make myself comfortable in her house by getting some hot chocolate, even though it's hard.

While stirring the chocolate, I have a thought that she probably doesn't want many people to know this. I climbed the stairs and entered her room again, quietly, as I sit on the ground next to her bed, facing the window that I once threw tiny stones at. Drinking the hot chocolate, I let the silence controls my mind.

Without I realised it, I feel asleep.

----

I woke up and saw the ceiling of my room, I blinked a few times before letting out a sigh and slowly sit up. When I was about to wonder how I get on my bed, I saw Baekhyun is sleeping, his arms crossed on the bed with his head rested on them.

"What is he doing here?" I mumbled under my breath, not wanting to wake him up. But then I remembered last night event. I tilted my head down a bit, looking at him who's sleeping. "His hair looks so smooth and silky." I mumbled and touched the edge of his hair softly.

He suddenly flick his eyes open, making me jumped backwards and accidentally hit the back of my head on the wall. I rubbed my head in pain, murmured an ouch before looking at him again. "Don't suddenly open your eyes like that!" I shouted at him, the pain on my head could still be feel. "Oh, sorry."

"How are you feeling?" He asked, his eyes stare into mine without blinking. "I feel.. better." I answered, dropped my hands on the bed. "Thank you." I mumbled softly, looking down on the bed instead of looking at him.

He smile. "You're welcome." He stand up and look at his watch. "It's still 6:46am," He said. "We still have time to go to school. Get ready, okay?" He added and leaned forward to patted me before leaving. I touched my head, and smile a bit at his action. "So random." I murmured and walked in front of the mirror, looking at my reflection.

My eyes are so puffed but I hope it would be gone soon.

----

Checking the house, I put on my sneakers and wrapped a scarf around my neck and left the house. I closed the door and make sure it was locked and turned around, to found Baekhyun standing there, without making any noises.

I yelped a bit, holding my chest as if it's gonna drop off my body anytime sooner. "Baekhyun, what are you doing here?" I asked him, slowly dropping my hands and stand straight. "To check on you. You're ready? Let's go." He said and let me walk first before him.

"Let's drop by the coffee shop on our way back from school. You okay with that?" He asked, putting his hands inside the pocket of his coat and looked at me. "Coffee shop?"

"There's a nice coffee shop around here that I often go to. They brew the coffee nicely." He explained to me excitedly. I can't help but to smile at it. "Sure, why not." I replied.

He was about to say hurray but I stopped him. "But let me ask you one question, why do you wanna be friend with me in the first place?" He dropped his hands down and put them into the pockets again. "Because I'm attracted to you." He said.

I laughed at his reply. "You're a straight-forward person, do you know that?"

We walked the rest of the way to school with talking. Without knowing what would happen next.

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A/N: I'm out of ideas yay. Yay. Yay. Sorry for the short update. But I hope you guys like this chapter ;-; My back is still hurts, I'm growing old uhuk TT