There Once Was A Derek & Lia (ongoing)

Chapter 44

PLS PUT YOUR PLAYLIST HERE

"Sunsets are proof that endings can often be beautiful too." -Beau Taplin

I had an appointment scheduled with Marie, my social worker for Saturday morning. I asked if I needed to bring Mr. And Mrs. Palmer along but Marie strictly asked that this be a one on one session.

When someone asks to speak with you alone, you know it's serious.

Marie sat behind her desk and opened a file she had waiting in the very centre of all her books and papers. "How's everything going with the Palmers?"

"Good," I shrugged my shoulders. "We're you hoping for some complaints?"

"Course not, Kahlia. I only want all my clients to end up in a safe and happy home." She said. "There's nothing enjoyable about separating children from the only family they have ever known. We do however have to intervene sometimes."

"I didn't have to be taken away."

"Your saying you were happy with the way you were living?" Marie's eyebrows raised. "The neglect? The responsibility given to you that no 16 year old should have to take on?"

"I would have called CPS myself if I felt I couldn't take it anymore."

"Have you been attending your counseling sessions, Kahlia?"

"It's mandatory so yes."

"I was hoping they would have touched upon what child's responsibilities should be and what they have become." Marie sounded disappointed. "You have an opportunity now to be like any 16 year old girl, Kahlia. You have the freedom and ability to participate in activities that you may have never dreamed about being involved in. I'd like to see you acting more your age."

Has she forgotten what majority of 16 year olds do these days? If she has--that's the last thing she should be encouraging me to do.

Even with the freedom I have now I still won't be participating  in school functions let alone join after school book clubs or teams.  No matter the amount of freedom I may have, you won't see me rebelling for the sake of making up for lost time.

"I don't have any hobbies that I can think of, Marie. I've had a routine for years now that I've had to follow to just make it through the day. You can't expect me to be so eager to jump into new territory." I don't know what I like. I don't know what I'm even good at.

"What I'm suggesting, Kahlia, is that everyday you pick something new to try. Socialize with the cheerleaders one day and give choreography a try. What about joining the schools dance committee? I'm sure they can use a extra pair of hands."

"The cheerleaders don't like me." Bianca made her dislike for me very clear.

"I never was fond of cheerleaders in my day but if not cheerleaders I'm sure there are other teams. Mr. And Mrs. Palmers sons are involved in sports teams. Why not ask them to introduce you to some sports. Set out a day where you try out multiple sports. Make a mental note of the sports you aren't particularly fond of and consider what you may enjoy doing again."

I don't need to make a fool of myself when I could already tell her that I'm terrible at all of them. I guess that leaves the dance committee.

I know of one person who will be happy to hear that.

"I'm getting a little off track here. There was something else I wanted to discuss with you today. The reason I called you in was because I received a letter from your mom. I had asked that any contact she wanted to have with you go through myself first."

"She wrote a letter.. To me?"

Marie pulled an opened envelope from the file and handed it to me. "I read it to ensure it would be okay for you to look at. You don't have to read it this very second if you don't want to."

There's no way I could wait any longer to read her letter. It had to be good too if Marie found it to be okay to read.

Dear Kahlia,

I wanted to write to you for awhile now, baby, but I didn't know where to start. I still don't know what I should say to you besides that I am sorry. I know I let you down.

I'm doing well here. The routine in prison keeps me busy. I have counseling everyday at 2 and then group therapy just before dinner. I hate it but I know I have to do it. The food is as awful as the shows we use to watch together about prison said about it.

You don't select your meals according to your mood.

We get the occasional cookie for dessert sometimes.

I've met a few nice ladies who have children close to your age. We talk about children a lot and how we wish we could be better role models. I know I haven't been a very good role model for you. How you've turned out like you did still amazes me. I can't take credit for that. It's all you, baby.

Just know that I'll be okay and that I hope we can talk again. Letters, phone calls or visits, I'm not picky. If you don't want to ever hear from me either I'll understand. I broke many boundaries with you, baby, and I'm incredibly sorry.

Love
Mom.