My Sisters Bestfriend // E.D

Chapter 12

Warning! This chapter contains usage of drugs and self harm!

Bethany's P.O.V

I sit on my bed and pull out the ziplock bag with the weed, blunts, and pipe out of my bra, laying it on my bed.

I walk over to my closet, take off my hoodie, put it on the clothes hanger. I look for a tank top and shorts to change into.

I then search for my razors blades. After searching, I finally found them in my secret box under my mattress.

Being depressed sucks, but only having these two things to help take the pain away sucks even more.

I walk over to my window and open it, allowing fresh air to come in and to take away the smell of the weed.

I go back on my bed and sit with my legs crossed.

"Bethany, let me in." Grayson starts jiggling the door knob as the concern in his voice raises.

"No, leave me alone. I want time to myself." I say, starting to grow frustrated.

"Oh my gosh, fine." Grayson says and walks away from my door.

I lay my 2 razor blades side by side and get the stuff out of the zip lock bag, but lay them on the bag, so it doesn't make a mess.

I start to think to myself, realizing I need a lighter and an ashtray. Fuck.

I get off my bed and go to my dresser. I push stuff to the side to find my stash of lighters and my little glass heart ashtray. I grab them and sit back on my bed.

I play music that goes along with the mood I'm in.

(The song in the box.)

I start singing along to the song, realizing it's my exact mood right now.

"Maybe, I'll get you out of my head. Maybe, I'll forget all the things you said. Lies on your lips, but there's love in your eyes. Maybe, I'll forget you some other time."

I grab the blunt put it in between my lips to light it. I inhale the smoke, then exhale it. Normally when people smoke, they cough, but that's not the case with me.

I've been smoking since I was 14.

After more hits, the blunt starts to gets small, so I put it out.

I've always loved the feeling marijuana gives me.

But I love the feeling of taking the pain away more.

I grab one of the blades and observe it.

I start thinking of Ethan, which causes all the ache of pain to flow throughout my body again.

I look at my wrist, and then start cutting. I then move to my thighs, and then my belly.

He's not for you.
You deserve so much better.
Keep cutting...
Good girl.

My thoughts hit me. I start crying, which causes more pain to flow through me, which makes me cut more and more, not giving a damn.

By the time I got done cutting, I had 32 fresh cuts.

The first time I cut, I was 16. I've always suffered from a deep depression.

I haven't cut in almost a year, but here we are now.

I stop crying and look at the mess I created.

Blood is everywhere. All over my wrist, thighs, and belly, but I don't do anything about it.

I grab another blunt and light it. I needed this.

My music died down for a few seconds as my phone vibrated.

I have the blunt in one hand and grab my phone with the other.

I look at my lock screen to be greeted with a text from Ethan.

I still haven't found a way to change his contact name, but this time, I found a way.

Ethan- are you awake?

Me- yes, why?

I take a few hits off the blunt as I wait for him to reply.

Ethan- because I can't get you off my mind. I miss you like fucking crazy. I know I fucked up. I miss you being by my side 24/7, I miss you always making me laugh, I miss your touch, I miss your hugs, I miss your kisses. Fuck, I just miss you in general. I know I haven't said it yet, but damn Bethany I love you.

While reading that, I tear up. I finish the rest of the blunt and put it out, being higher than I intended to be, but feeling great.

I somehow find a way to text Ethan back.

Me- fuck Ethan... I wanna see you. Meet me at the end of the alley behind the discount store.

Ethan- okay.

I get up off my bed, put the weed and pipe back in the zip lock bag, and grab the blades.

I put them in my secret box and put it back under my mattress.

I put the ashtray and lighter back in my dresser and change clothes.

I change into my red long sleeve Nike shirt, some black leggings, and put my white Vans on. I spray Vanilla Bean Noel on me to drown out the smell of the marijuana that'll be faint on my body.

I walk over to my bed and grab my phone, seeing that it's 4:30 in the morning as I stop my music.

I open my bedroom door to reveal Grayson asleep on the couch.

I silently walk out of my room, being high as fuck, and I go over to the door and open it silently.

I look at Grayson to make sure he didn't flinch, and then I close the door.

I walk down the stairs and take off running.

After running for a few seconds, I text Ethan.

Me- I'm almost there.

Ethan- okay, I'm almost there too.

With that, I lock my phone and keep walking for a few more minutes, until I feel someone grab my shirt and pull me in.

"You almost passed the alley."

What's up guys. It's 2:20 in the morning, and I can't sleep. But how do you guys feel that Bethany did that to herself? & how are you guys feeling about Bethany and Ethan again? Do you think they'll get back together? Stay tuned to find out.