As Told By Nerdy

Chapter 20 - More Promises

My train of thought swerved to his estranged brother. Could he be as magnificent as Leon? Otherworldly beautiful inside and out? Or was he the opposite?

Suddenly, I couldn’t imagine Nathan as anything close in resemblance to him. Nathan’s wickedness frightened me, though I could not condemn him considering the circumstances of his childhood. But then… if Leon could be such an angel, can’t his brother at least try?

“What are you thinking?” he said urgently, blue eyes still fixed on me.

“Your past, Nathan, about last night,” I shuddered as I enumerated my thoughts.  I avoided his eyes as he pulled me to sit beside him. I finally met his gaze and gave him a genuine smile. “I’m glad though…”

“What?” he blurted incredulously. It was the first time I saw him so very frantic. He always seemed so composed, calm and collected. “This is serious Sarah! Do you think this is just some kind of—“

“I’m glad Arthur raised you…” My cheeks went all warm and I knew he saw it on my face. I was telling the truth.

His delicate fingers trailed on my cheek. “I’m glad too.” The corners of his lips pulled up into that serene smile I’ve always loved.

“You’re a good person, Leon. You know that?” I replied absent-mindedly as I slowly lost myself in his eyes.

He backed away a little and stared at his own hands. “But you’re afraid… of me.”

“As a matter of fact, I was…” I was surprised at how calm I could discuss this with him. “It was hard for me to see you so angry…”

“And because of this you decided to freeze yourself to death in the shower?” he retorted bitterly.

He was irate because of my idiosyncratic impulsiveness. I couldn’t blame him. Even I thought it was stupid. He couldn’t blame me.  I had been insane ten long years before he stumbled upon me.

“No.”

“Then why?”

It took me a few seconds to compose myself as a lump started to throb in my throat.

“You were saying goodbye,” It wasn’t a question. My lips quivered as the pain wrenched in my chest again.

“I’m putting you in danger. Nathan is using you to get through me. You were nearly—“ He gritted through his teeth. “I would never forgive him if something happened to you. I’d never forgive myself. I was so ready to leave but when I heard your voice…”

There was a silent pause as he calmed himself. “It kills me whenever I remember how terrified you were last night. I swear I don’t have any idea how he found out about you. Maybe he was using Larkin to spy on me but I couldn’t possibly put your safety at stake. I couldn’t bear it. It was my fault you were so… miserable.” His last word reflected on his face as he avoided my eyes.

I opened my mouth to speak but the lump in my throat prevented me, then trying again, I croaked.

“Not as much as I would be if you leave.” I held back the sobs and caught his face with my hands. “Look at me.” I managed a determined tone. “Can you promise me one thing?”

He hesitated then nodded.

“Promise me that you’d only think of leaving if you don’t love me anymore.” My lips quivered at the thought.

If he didn’t love me…

The thought stabbed at me for several moments. But then I didn’t wish for him to stay against his will. His happiness mattered to me above all else in the world.

It didn’t matter to me that I might not see him ever again if that happens. But it would be consolation to know that somewhere else, he could still smile.

“That would never happen,” he admitted sincerely then his eyes flickered and the corners of his lips twitched as he held back a sneer.

My eyes narrowed irately. “What’s so funny?”

“I knew you were awake. You’ve been eavesdropping.” The smile widened. I realized he was talking about what happened last night when he had the talk with Mom.

“Well…” My heart raced as blood rushed to my face. “You know what they say. Walls have ears.”

“Could you promise me something too?” said he as he looked deep into my eyes.

I was lost in his gaze again and I had to blink myself back to reality before I could nod.

“Please don’t do anything stupid,” he was asking this time.

“That, I cannot promise. Stupid is my middle name,” I blurted without thinking.

Ugh. Great idea. Really attractive there, Sarah.

He chuckled softly like chimes to my ears as he pulled me to his side and kissed my hair. “You’re nothing of the sort. You know, Sarah, when you eavesdrop, you really should pay more attention.”

“She’s a pretty and smart girl.” Mom said.

“Though she doesn’t have a clue about it.” Leon replied with a quiet laughter.

The words of the two most important people in my life rang like bells inside my head. It felt good to know.

I felt an involuntary smile at the thought. “Err… Maybe the walls have ADHD or something.” We both laughed but his smile entranced me, making my heart race above speed limit.

“I’m sorry though… that I don’t seem to tell you anything. Sometimes it’s just difficult to say what I want to say.”

Ugh. Blabber, blabber ha!

“I’ll keep that in mind,” he whispered as his lips touched my forehead; it made me jolt upright as the pounding in my chest grew louder it almost deafened me. “But not exactly what I want to hear.”

I lifted my eyes to his face and saw an anticipating smile trailing on his lips.

I cleared my throat, took a few lungfuls and found myself trembling as I was getting ready to say it. All the blood in my body seemed to gush to my cheeks all at the same time.

“It’s that really hard to say?” He laughed softly. “I’m not obliging you to. But know that I meant every word. I’d never love anyone else more than you.” His voice was so tender as his blue eyes told me a story so ancient I couldn’t comprehend it.

Time stopped and there was a static noise. All I could hear was the thumping against my chest.

I realized I wasn’t breathing.

Leon bent a little then inched his face closer to mine. Our lips welded for several moments sending sparks flying all around my eyes and I was kissing him back. All I could feel was his soft lips against mine, his sweet breath and the violent pounding of my heart. This time I didn’t fight back the yearning that had welled up inside my chest. I could do this all day. Well, in fact, I could do this forever.

He caught my face with his hands, pulled his lips from mine then kissed my eyes.

I gasped for breath. I had to blink my eyes rapidly to clear my head of the imaginary fireworks that burned in my vision.

“Now, do you promise? You’d only think of leaving if you didn’t love me anymore,” I managed in a hoarse undertone.

His arms wrapped around me letting a deep sigh of retreat as he did.

“I promise,” he replied as his breath played on my hair. “Not that it’s actually necessary though.”

“I love you.” I whispered bashfully.

A grin spread across his faultless face. “I know.”

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Last chapter for the week... Probably going to post another 3 on Sunday. If the votes are more than 15 maybe... if you're reading this then thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really am.. your support means everything to me :)

lotsa love--shim