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Chhota Bheem (AKA Read this if you don't want to go anywhere near this shit)

I hope you appreciate the fact that I'm going down the rabbit hole for you guys. Cause trust me, this is making me cringe by the minute.

And can someone please use a time portal and smack my ten-turning-eleven year old self for liking this bloody show?! (And for having a small crush on the main character....yeah, someone PLEASE SLAP ME WITH A FISH)

I DON'T GET IT. HOW IS THIS SHIT POPULAR

DO THE CREATORS LEGITIMATELY WANT TO DUMB DOWN THE KIDS WATCHING THE SHOW

OR DO THEY THINK THAT THE KIDS WATCHING IT ARE DUMB THEMSELVES

H O W

THIS SHOW IS SO EFFING BLAND. Basically what this show is about is a boy named Bheem who lives in a village called Dholakpur and saves the village from evil-doers with the help of his trusty sidekicks, Raju (this kid literally only wears underwear, as he's freaking three years old), Jaggu the talking monkey (I'm not joking) and seven year old Chutki. Oh and did I mention that Bheem is nine?

Also there is the typical bully named Kalia who's jealous of Bheem and his popularity and tries to humiliate him (typically to no avail) and having his twin cronies, Dholu and Bholu do majority of his dirty work.

Now do you see why I hate this show?

With that said, try to guess which character is which. Trust me, it's pretty blatant.

And if it wasn't adding more salt to the wound, this is practically all over India. The current episode count is 364+ episodes, has a whopping number of 23 made-for-TV movies and a superhero spin-off series based off the three year old, called Mighty Raju.

WHAT THE HELL.

But you may say, "Oh but Keerthana, it's a kids show! I don't think that you should judge harshly as it was made for kids."

To which I say, "Fuck that excuse. Steven Universe is marketed for kids. Powerpuff Girls is marketed for kids. So is Gravity Falls, Teen Titans, Avatar: The Last Airbender, The Legend of Korra, Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends, Dexter's Laboratory, Kim Possible, Phineas and Ferb....hmm, what do all of these have in common? Oh yeah. ADUTLS WATCH THEM AS WELL. TO THIS DAY, THE ADULTS CAN WATCH THESE SHOWS, WITH THEIR KIDS, WITHOUT WANTING TO COMMIT SUICIDE. In addition, these shows can withstand the test of time. Unlike this piece of crap show.

Oh, and in addition to the typical cookie cutter plot, the show legit jumps the shark way too many times. To give you an idea of what I mean by that, I'll mention that the timeline of the show is set in Ancient India. You would think that modern stuff like soccer, ice cream, time machines, robots, electricity, skiing and other modern ideas/technology would be unavailable or *gasp* not even invented yet.

....Yeah, good luck with that thinking, mate. It's like this show is on drugs. One minute, he's fighting off the one dimensional, "villain of the day" and the next minute you find yourself watch him and his friends go and learn martial arts in Ancient China and that Bheem is supposed to be a savior of all of China or something. Speaking of which, the specials are even worse. They are so cheesy and cringe-worthy to the point where I can't even begin to describe it. The shows I mentioned above stuck to the rules of the time/world that they lived in. Chhota Bheem however....like I said, this show jumped the shark way too many times.

Oh, and the animation is crap. I figured I should mention that.

THE MAIN CHARACTER IS SUCH A GARY STU (or Mary Sue. Take your pick). He has absolutely no personality whatsoever other than being perfect. Kalia tries to humiliate him? Dude no matter how many times he tries to, Bheem never gets angry about this. I mean, its a good quality and all but come on, THIS GUY IS PORTRAYED AS AN ANGEL.

Literally, Bheem is the kid version of Superman without any of the charisma that made Superman popular. In fact, you know how Popeye gets superhuman strength just by eating a can of spinach? Well, guess what Bheem's power-up is? No, not friendship, but it would have honestly made this show slightly bearable. IT'S LADDUS.

Just.....no.

This guy has no legit flaws. None. Zip. Zilch. Nada. I guess that if you were going to pin point one, it would be the time when Bheem and Jaggu would steal a couple of Laddus but the show plays it off as nothing more than a quirk and plus, the blame often goes to Kalia and his cronies.

And another thing about Bheem: HE ALWAYS FREAKING WINS. You would think that at least one episode would have him actually lose so that the kids watching the show can actually 'grow' with the character but NOPE THEY TOOK THE EASY ROUTE.

The rest of the characters are shit as well. All they do is just basically serve as his personal cheerleading squad. Although when I was ten I secretly shipped Bheem and Chutki. Like the amount of times he saves her oh my god. And dude, she gets freaking jealous when she sees him talking to another girl LIKE CAN YOU NOT GET ANYMORE FUCKING OBVIOUS. This show won't make them fall in love or something like that (I know it won't) but the undertones are like COME ON

Edit (7/1/19): I love how half of the comments are either a) relating to hating the show and sharing their experiences or b) lowkey judging my younger self for shipping Bheem and Chutki. I'm not sad or angry, its just an observation that I found rather hilarious. Whether it might be Indumati or Chutki, I think we can all agree that both ships are lowkey trash (in good hearted fun of course 😂)

As for the opening theme....it's so bad that it's catchy. It's just basically saying how perfect Bheem is. At first I thought that I won't make you guys suffer by adding the theme song but then all of a sudden, Sebastian Michaelis came up to me with a contract, soooooo......yeah. Sorry.

But then I decided that I wasn't going to put myself to that torture. So you're scotch free....for now. Just look up the lyrics if you're interested but I will warn you they are cringe-worthy (They may be in Hindi so look up the English translations. Or just use Google Translate.)

So yeah. You may now proceed to slap me with a fish.

That's the end of ranting about Indian movies/cliches/plots/TV shows/dubs...for now MUWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

Seriously though, I solemnly swear that I'll do Madoka Magica next rant. But I got finals for the next few days so until Decemeber 16th I'm going to be slightly packed. He He. XD

Until then, comment below and tell me what you think or what you want me to rant on!