Simply Poetry

The Way You Drown Yourself in Music

I understand it now -
The way you want to drown in music,
Turn the volume up to 100
Then keep turning even higher
Because it's not loud enough.
I understand now
The way you want it to consume you
Because you can't fight off
What's consuming you already -
The way you want to use it
To fill the void that's growing
Deep within you.
I understand now
Why you never take the headphones
From your ears -
You are afraid that in silence
Your thoughts will become so loud
That they drown out all you ever were,
That they eat you up,
Chew you inside out,
And spit you like a carcass left to rot,
Just like the rot
That's already forming inside.
I understand now
Why you want to drown in music -
Because it's the only thing
That sings to you in sweetness,
Because it's the only thing
That serenades you with warmth -
And without it,
You are lost in chaos greater
Than the cacophony of wild beats
That hug you in ways no one else does.
Because when you have your music,
You are not alone.