23rd

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When she woke up, she was stretched out on the bed next something warm and hard. She blinked an opened her eyes. Shawn was oddly enough awake, just silent. His hands were behind his head and he looked up at the ceiling with purpose and intent. Beyonce burst to want to know what he was thinking. His face wasn't free of creases or the soft dents that made up his features when he was disturbed about something. But, Beyonce said looking his at his handsome profile, he was still amazingly handsome.
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It was still broad daylight outside. Beyonce could see the sun spilling through the windows and reflecting its presents through the mirror.
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"Finally up," she heard him say. Shawn looked at her and Beyonce was pleased to see him smile. She grinned back and sighed.
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"Yeah."
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She looked at him a while longer and let her eyes shy away when she found herself smiling and pulling the black sheet up to her neck. It wasn't particularly cold but she had those post sleep jitters that made everyone cold when they first woke up. When she giggled like she was shy or embarrassed, Shawn chuckled a low rumbling noise and leaned over on his elbow. He put one arm on the other side of her and lowered his head to kiss her, just to let her know where his head was at.
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Nothing would make him forget his aunt. But she had made him feel better. He hadn't forgotten the tragic events of his day, but he had let it take a leave of absence from his mind. And at that very moment, that's what he needed to do. His gentle, barely touching kisses were over before she had a chance to truly enjoy them. He leaned away a bit and smiled at her. Beyonce giggled again.
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"Silly," Shawn mumbled, through his grin. Beyonce watched him move back to his side of the bed and yawned in appreciation of her tired bodies rest. She sat up and didn't bother with covering her displayed chest. Her hands reached over her head and she yawned again, unaware that Shawn was watching her with appreciative and smoldering eyes. She ran a hand through her hair and looked around the room.
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"Look," Shawn said. Beyonce turned to him and yawned into her hand at the same time. He watched her beautiful eyes train on him as she gave him her full attention. He appreciated that. He appreciated everything about her, even the way she sat there unabashed with her chest presented to him. It was relaxing to know that she was that comfortable. It made him comfortable too. He felt nice around Beyonce. That's why he had to do what he was about to do. "I, I wanted to apologize for..." Shawn looked at the dresser and back at her. "That."
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She must have felt used, belittled. What they had shared just then was not something sweet and magical. It was not a treasured moment to me kept and savored for the rest of their long lasting friendship. That was hot, uncensored, rude sex. It was crazy. The best he had ever had in his life, but still crazy. And he didn't want her to feel like he didn't appreciate her offering her body to him to make him feel better. Because he did.
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And the things that came out of his mouth. He didn't even want to think about it.
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"What?" Beyonce said looking from the dresser to him in real sincere confusion. "What you mean the blood?"
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Shawn looked at her. "Blood? You're bleeding?" Oh God, he thought, what did I do?
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Beyonce nodded. "Just a little. Look," she moved the covers and pointed to her hip. There were nail creases in her skin and one or two open ones. "Didn't really hurt though. I'm ok."
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Shawn breathed a sigh of relief. He hadn't really hurt her. It was just some nail wounds. She wasn't dying.
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Shawn touched the scar and Beyonce winced and slapped his arm with a smile. "Aw," she whined cutely. Shawn smiled again and apologized while she looked at it.
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"No, well yes but that wasn't what I was talking about." He sighed. He didn't even know how to say it. "Na, I was talking about... the way we did what we did."
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Beyonce turned a fixed stare on him and furrowed her eyebrows just a little bit. Shawn guessed the look was one of confusion so he continued to spill his guts.

"I didn't use you," he explained. "I was there and..."
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What, he thought. You're not making any since. Of course you were there. Beyonce just let the crease in her forehead deepen while she watched him closely.
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"I mean, I know I was there but... but I was glad you were too. I didn't just need your body. I wasn't too gentle with you and I didn't mean what I said. I didn't want to hurt you." Shawn grabbed her hand and reached into her beautiful eyes will his own. "I'm sorry."
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Beyonce looked at him a moment longer. Her face contorted and she nodded like she was realizing something. Then her eyes flicked around his room and back at him. Then she let go of his hand and scooted to the edge of the bed without a word. Beyonce slid her underwear up her legs and prepared to leave.
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"Beyonce," he called to her back. Beyonce stood up abruptly and whined as soon as she did so against her will. She sat back down and took a hand to cup her lower regions in her hands like she couldn't believe it was hurting like that. "Are you ok?" Shawn asked her back. He knew what was wrong and he was just a tiny bit proud in the back of his mind but he had to be reminded that now wasn't the time for that. Beyonce stood gingerly and grabbed her dress and threw it around furiously trying to make the sleeved turn out like they were suppose to so she could put it on. Shawn didn't understand. Why was she upset? He tried to do right by her didn't he?

He stood and grabbed her shoulder. Beyonce snatched away and hit the dresser in her fury because her legs wobbled so badly. She didn't even look at him but Shawn could see her wince in pain from what he had done to her. Instead she put her hands on the dresser for a minute and Shawn could see her face in the mirror. She was fuming, trying to calm herself own. Her head jerked and she looked like she was fighting sobs. He touched her arm again. "Beyonce, I'm sorry."
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"Don't touch me," she said pulling away from him. She picked up the dress off the floor.
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"What's wrong? I said I was sorry. Why are you mad?"
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"Forget it."
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"No," Shawn demanded grabbing the flimsy dress from her grasp and flinging it on the bed. Her eyes followed it angrily and Shawn snapped her head back to his. "Tell me what's the matter with you. I said I was sorry. You know I didn't mean of that stuff I said!"
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"I'm not made of fucking glass!" she screamed back at him as she pushed him away from her. Shawn didn't take but two steps back since she wasn't nearly as strong as him but he was still taken aback by the push. Beyonce ran a reckless hand through her hair. "I'm not gonna break every time you do something." Shawn watched her reach across the bed and get her dress. "I'm a big girl Shawn. I can handle myself. If I didn't want to have sex I would have said no. I-I," she finally got the dress on her shoulders and yanked it up, only to see that it was still inside out and snatch it off again. "If ever there were a moment where I felt used..." she said talking quickly and quietly. She did that when she was upset, talked rapidly and barely above a whisper. "It's now," she mumbled as she pulled the dress on one arm.
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Shawn wanted to rip his own heart out of his chest. How could he have been so stupid to treat her like that? He spent all his time telling himself that his Beyonce was different than every other girl and here he was treating her like she was some stranger, a random stereotype female. He hadn't used her until he apologized for it like she was some kind of one night stand. Beyonce was strong, she could handle herself.
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Shawn reached for her and Beyonce turned away from him and fought his hold. "No," she mumbled. Her hands pushed his away from her while she tried to hold onto some of her dignity while she tried to fight him and put her dress on. Shawn just kept touching her, trying to hold her. "Stop it... I'm a grown woman. I decide what I want to do, get off. Don't touch me." Shawn drew her into his chest and she sagged against him. "Don't touch me," she mumbled into his chest, one arm in her dress and one fighting the urge to wrap around his big bare back.
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"Let me go," she said stubbornly while she nuzzled him and wrapped her arms around his waist. She wanted to fight him but who was she kidding? She couldn't even if she wanted to. "Shawn I wanna be here. I wanna be what you need. I'm ok with that."
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Shawn let her go just enough to look into her eyes as he kissed her lips. He traced her top lip with his tongue and kissed her again. "I'm glad you're here. You're what I need."
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Beyonce smiled a little. "Then stop treating me like a porcelain doll, Shawn. I don't need you to buy me shoes or apologize for sex." Shawn nodded and kissed her again.
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"You know I didn't mean that stuff though right?"
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"Shawn," she said sighing. "I know, ok? And if that's what you needed then yeah, it's what I'm here for." When Shawn rolled his eyes like she was wrong, Beyonce caught his gaze. "Hey," she said. Shawn looked at her. "I didn't spend four hundred dollars to pat your head. I knew what I was getting into," she said in that quiet intimate voice she had been using since they hugged.
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Shawn kissed her again and wondered, as he tasted the sweet recesses of her mouth, how on earth he got so damn lucky with this one. And they stood, kissing and holding one another with in their arms lovingly. Beyonce giggled and dropped her dress so that she was only in her panties again. Shawn stood towering over her by almost a foot with his boxers on and nothing else. They whispered quietly to one another like someone else was in the room.
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"I'm cold Shawn," she whined a little in good humor. Shawn goofily wrapped her in his arms, trying to cover her tiny body and led her back to his sheets. They climbed inside and Beyonce shocked him by climbing atop him and smiling while her hair curtained both of their faces. Shawn looped his arms under hers and pushed the mane back away from her face so that she could look at him and he could look at her. Beyonce settled atop him and reached down to peck his lips.
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"You're beautiful," he whispered to her in all honesty.
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Beyonce blushed. "You're beautiful too Shawn."
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Suddenly the door swung open and Devon came falling in, hitting the floor in front of Tim and Tom. Beyonce shrieked and fell beside Shawn, clutching the sheet to her chest and looking at the men in the doorway. Shawn sat up and yelled a profanity.
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Tim grinned. "And you," he said pointing to Tom. "You're beautiful!"
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Tom hugged Tim dramatically rubbing the top of his head vigorously. "You're beautiful too my, my African Prince!"
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Devon popped up on his knees and put his hands together in a prayer like way. "We're all beautiful! Bless God, we are all beautiful!" He started to fake a hysterical cry and he screamed that everyone was beautiful and Beyonce snapped her eyes shut in shame. Oh the shame.
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"Man get out!" Shawn screamed.
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Taye appeared in the doorway and grabbed Tim and Tom by the shoulders. "Ok, ok leave them alone. Let's go," he said throwing them out of the room softly. They held on to doorjambs and screamed bloody murder while Taye fought them out.
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"We're all beautiful Taye!"
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"All of us!" They screamed as he threw them into the hall. He came back and grinned down at Devon who was still laughing and screaming 'you're beautiful in every single way! Yes words won't bring me down!'
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"Come on Romeo," he said hooking his arms under Devon's armpits and dragging him out of the room. He kicked his feet out of the doorway and gave Shawn a brief thumbs up. Then he closed the door.
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Beyonce would not get from under the covers. She was so embarrassed. She would never get from under the covers ever ever again. They hadn't seen anything but it was obvious if they had heard those little whispers, surely they heard them... oh goodness. She didn't want to think or come from under her covers. But when he got too quiet she peaked out and saw Shawn sitting there with his back against the headboard fuming. Beyonce looked around a little and winced as she sat upon her scratched hip and other soar regions. "Shawn," she called.
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Shawn looked at her and back at his lap. "I'm sorry about them. Fuckin' assholes man."
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Beyonce sat up and carefully let her sheet fall when she was sure the door was closed. She touched his chin and attempted to smile. "It's ok." When he didn't say anything she smiled a little. "It was kind of funny... you're still beautiful." Shawn crack a slow grin and she smiled with him. "See?"
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Shawn had never had a woman call him beautiful and he had to admit he liked. It was so... sweet. He didn't want to feel sweet or mushy but he couldn't help it. It was not at all a manly way to address a state quarter back and all-star MVP player but she brought the best out of him. He wanted to be beautiful to her. He wanted to be perfect in her eyes. She was turning him into a real bitch, he concluded.
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Her eyes came on his Yamaha piano propped in the corner. Beyonce pushed the covers off her legs and swung them over the side of the bed. Beyonce stood, nearly naked and unashamed. She went to the small piano and slid the button up to turn it on. The lights lit up and she smiled back at him. Shawn just watched her from the bed, wondering what she was doing. He saw her smile and sit on the bench timidly.
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He had no idea that Beyonce played the piano, or any instrument for that matter. He was shocked when she sat down and played a beautiful rendition of FurElise by Beethoven perfectly, without missing a single beat. Shawn slid out of the bed, clad in the boxers he had worn to the bathroom minutes ago, and stood behind her as she played. He could see her tiny hands work vigorously yet skillfully to get each note his beautifully. And he could hear her very quietly hum a note or two when it was a part of the sing she favored.
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When she finished, Shawn clapped behind her and bent his back to kiss her neck and cheek and temple. "I didn't know you played."
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Beyonce nodded. "That was my niche at church. My mama made me choir director when I was fourteen."
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"You sing too?"
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Beyonce shrugged and played with a few high notes carelessly with one expert hand. "I use to."
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Shawn was intrigued. "Use to?"
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"... I don't anymore."
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Beyonce felt Shawn's fingers softly dig into her hair, going straight for the scalp. He found it and brushed his digits over it softly. Beyonce closed her eyes and let her head fall back into his hands. He massaged her scalp until she was breathing slowly and deliberately while her body relaxed. Her one hand continued to play whatever her heart felt at that moment set to keys. Soft notes, centering around a C sharp and a jump to an A. It was beautiful and Shawn was so pleased he could make her do that simply with his hands. He wondered... another place for another time.
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"Why not?" Shawn asked. Beyonce's hand stopped and her head came up off his hands. Tension was suddenly all over the place and it made the room feel colder, eerie. It got stark quiet because of the newfound stiff attitude and posture. And right there for the briefest moment, Shawn was not thinking about her naked, willing body in front of him while he touched her hair. In that moment he was genuinely concerned for his best friend. It was, after all, his opportunity to give something back to her. It was his small chance to attain a little of his kudos back after she had done so much for him in a simple weekend. Shawn figured he could guide her through this problem just as she had done for him.
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But Beyonce looked at the piano and turned it off, standing and running a hand through her hair. Her movements were odd and very calculated at the same time. She appeared to be made of thoughts, no emotion or sensual reasoning behind any of her actions. She brushed her bang behind her ear and turned to face him.
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Shawn studied her face as she spoke to him, or to the things around him as her eyes did. "I should be getting back to my room. Don't want your parents to know what happened here."
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He watched her get dressed in her dress and scoop up her shoes and stockings. If she would have moved just a little quicker he would have felt a little bit more than whored. It would have been something like... Shawn wasn't sure. It didn't even have a name. She approached him just before she exited her room and put herself on her tiptoes to grab his bottom lip in a kiss. She pecked him a final time and smiled, walking out of his door and closing it quietly behind her.
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Ok, Shawn thought, what the fuck just happened? Why doesn't she sing anymore?


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