If only I could

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*Mark's POV*

Mark watched as Jack left the room, he was really hurt and it was easy to see. 'But I am NOT gay and Jack is my best friend.' He thought to himself. He needed to figure things out. Why couldn't he remember anything? Was he really in Ireland? Had a month really passed? He was so confused. "Mr. Fischbach, I am yer doctor."

"So I really am in Ireland?" Mark asked, hearing his doctor's thick Irish accent. It was different from Jack's, but definitely an Irish accent.

"Tat ye are. Ye had stroke, Mr. Fischbach. Yer very lucky to be in tha condition yer in." The doctor said, surprising Mark.

"Wait, what?! I had a stroke?!" Mark asked in shock.

"Yes, ye did. Yer sufferin' from memory loss and could have a change in behavior. On top of all that, we could have lost you..you did go into sudden cardiac arrest soon after." The doctor explained.

"What's the date today?!" Mark asked carefully.

"It's August 11th, 2015."

"Thank you...um, do you, uh, know how long any of the memory loss will affect me?"

"There's a possibility it will be temporary and things will slowly come back, it could be long term and take a few years, or it could be permanent and ye may never truly know or understand the parts of yer memory."

"That's a lovely thought." Mark said sarcastically before continuing onto his last question he had for his doctor. "When am I being released?"

"Friday morning. We are keepin' ya fer three days in other words. We were informed ye have a plane ta catch tat aftanoon. But we went to make sure your heart is healthy" The doctor explained. Mark nodded in understanding. Did Jack at least notify Mark's family? Of course the half Korean couldn't ask the Irishman because his phone was nowhere around him.

A few hours later, the sun had already set, and it was early dawn. Mark wasn;t able to sleep..the few thoughts he could actually remember, were circling through his head. The door to Mark's room opened and it wasn't a doctor or nurse; it was Bob and Wade. "Hey, buddy." Bob said with a small smile.

"How ya feelin'?" Wade asked.

"I'm doing good. I feel great right now. I'm just confused about everything I can't remember." Mark explained. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Jack called us." Wade said.

"Oh.."

"What's the last thing you remember?" Bob asked.

"Leaving Indy pop-con." Mark said.

"Holy shit." Wade said, barely audible.

"Yeah...that's one of the main things I am very confused about. Jack says we have been together for a month and quite a few things have happened and he is supposedly moving in with me, but how can I believe any of that when I have no feelings for him? I'm not gay whatsoever and he's just a really good friend, like you two." Bob and Wade looked at Mark, shock clearly shown on their faces.

"That stroke must have really fucked you up." Wade said carefully.

"No wonder Jack called us sounding so hurt.. and he wouldn't come in with us." Bob said to Wade.

"I AM still here, guys." Mark said.

"Sorry, Mark. We, are just putting things together in this situation." Bob said.

"What did the doctors say? Jack wouldn't tell us much and nobody here would tell us anything since we aren't family." Wade explained.

"They said I'm being released Friday so I can catch my plane back to LA. I was also told I am suffering from memory loss and possibly a change in behavior. There's no telling if anything will be permanent, long term, or temporary." Mark explained to his friends who nodded in understanding.

"Now that you said that, I understand what's going on." Bob said.

"What's going on?" Mark asked questionably.

"Your behavior has clearly changed." Wade said bluntly and Bob smacked him on the arm. "Oww...." Wade whined, rubbing his arm where he was hit.

"What he meant to say is, we are very glad you are okay." He sighed, "But we need to go and straighten things out, get some food and sleep..and find where Jack went. We WERE woken up in the middle of the night." Bob said and slowly turned to leave.

"Can you answer one more question?" Mark asked. Bob turned back to his friend. He and Wade nodded.

"What is it?" Bob asked softly.

"Does my family know?" He asked. If they knew, he really hoped they weren't too worried. He had no clue what his mom might be thinking if she knew. His mom and brother already lost his dad, they didn't need to worry they'd lose him too.

"Yes." Bob and Wade said at the same time.

"We told them not to come, though. We explained that we'd update them and if it was bad they should come, but it looks like you're doing okay." Wade explained.

"Tom might still come though. He didn't seem like he wanted to stay." Bob said.

"Thank you." Mark said softly as his friends said their goodbyes and left him alone with his thoughts.

*Jack's POV*

Before he left the hospital, the nurses questioned Jack and had him fill out some paperwork for Mark. He walked home, trying to clear his head before calling Bob and Wade; they caught the next flight to Ireland and informed Mark's family.

Jack picked up the two Americans at the airport hours later, and brought them to the hospital. They tried getting him to go in as well, but he said no and waited in the car. 'What the hell am I gonna do? What the hell can I do?' He questioned in his thoughts.

The Irishman decided what he was gonna do and sighed. There wasn't much he could do unless Mark got his memory back. So, he was gonna bring Bob and Wade back to his house, pack up all of Mark's things, write a little note to him, and bring it to the half Korean in the hospital.

Only then would Jack keep things strictly on a friend level and never bring anything up about them being together. As much as it hurt him to do this, he knew it was the best thing to do. Mark looked disgusted at the thought of being in a relationship...and he couldn't do that to his...f-friend.

"Jack, did you hear anything we just said" Jack was pulled from his thoughts by Bob's question.

"'m sorry...no." Jack answered, trying to hide the pain in his voice.

"He told us about the memory loss... Also that they don't know if these things are temporary, long term, or permanent." Bob said. Jack hoped this would only be temporary, but something in him almost knew it could more likely be permanent or long term.

"We figured out quickly about his memory loss and even that his behavior has changed." Wade said. Jack turned and looked at him in the back seat.

"How are ye so sure? What if it's all jus' memory loss 'nd he felt nuttin' towards me till on that plane?" Jack asked emotionless. Bob and Wade seemed to have been expecting that though.

"Jack, do you remember the day we met you in person? It was the same day you and Mark met the first time?" Bob asked. Jack nodded in response. "It was clear for Wade and I to see just how much Mark liked you. Sure, he always seemed to have joked about Septiplier, but he meant it. He probably wanted to be with you more than the first fans who started shipping you together."

Bob's words were slowly sinking in. He never realized anything Bob mentioned. Was he too blind to tell, or did Bob and Wade just know Mark that well? "What he says is true." Wade said. Jack gave a small smile to the two other men and started the car.

The drive back to the Irishman's house was silent. Jack showed them around the house. "One of you can sleep in here." Jack said, showing them the guest room.

"Dibs!" Bob exclaimed and put his bags down.

"You dick!" Wade yelled at Bob. Jack lead them to his room.

"Wade, you can take my room....I'm gonna sleep on the couch..." Jack said. He walked into the room and gathered all of Mark's things into his suitcase. The Irishman grabbed his boyfriend's special shirt and smelled it. It no longer smelled of Mark, it smelled like himself. He sighed and stuffed the shirt into the suitcase as well.

"Jack, what are you doing?" Wade asked concerned.

"All I can do." Jack said and walked into his recording room where he was going to write his note for Mark.

'Mark,
I know you don't remember anything about us being together, so from now on I will respect that you clearly jus' wanna be friends. If the day comes that you remember, I'll be here. If you never do, I'll be here as a friend. I'll always be here fer ya.
-Jack'

Short, sweet and too the point. No tears came as Jack folded the paper, grabbed Mark's things and headed to the front door. He was numb and couldn't cry anymore.

Markiplier x Jacksepticeye ~Like Putty~Where stories live. Discover now