Intertwine (Strings of Fate)

Intertwine (Strings of Fate) / Chap.6

"I was giving you this because it's my birthday today." He looked away.

"What's about it? I don't even care." I handed him the foods and the balloon.

"I don't want someone who looks sad when I gave him something, that's all. So I am giving you these so that you don't have to be sad." The boy turned to face me with a surprised look.

"You...are giving me these?" Then he stared at those not with a sad expression but a weak smile, I guess.

"Now that you smiled, you look so cute right now."

"Arigatou (Thank you)" he said with tattered voice.

"Why aren't you eating? Don't worry it's free." To my surprised, he suddenly cried infront of me. I don't know why but I felt assured at that time.

"Why are you crying? I didn't give those to make you cry." I exclaimed. He waved his head as if disagreeing to my comment.

"No, I was happy you gave these. Because it's my first time that someone gave me these." For the first time in my life, I have to see his handsome genuine smile. A refreshing feeling brought out to be a great sensation.

"At last you really smiled. And you're handsome if you smile." I commented.

"Arigatou, for these. But, I don't even know your name." I smiled back for what he said.

"Watashi wa Kannon, Kannon Aki, that's may name."

"I'm Kaname, Kaname Mizuki." I held my hand and he take a handshake as the start of our friendship.

We ate together the ice cream and cotton candy at the park.

"What are you doing here alone? Don't you have your parents?"

"Uhm...they are busy to their work, so I always came here all by myself."

"All by yourself!?" I exclaimed. Then he laughed lightly.

"I was used to it, itsumo (always)."

"It must have been hard, eh." After his confession, we remained silent at the time being.

"Demo(But) I'm here. From now on, I will be your friend." I assured of him.

"Hountou ka?(Really?) Anata ga tomodachi?(You're my friend?)."

"Of course, from now on, were friends."

"Oh really? The truth is you're my first friend." I laughed at loud at his sentiments.

"I'm glad to be your friend."

"Then, don't leave me, Kannon-san. I don't want to be alone and sad anymore."

"I will never leave you, I promise."

"Yakusoku dayou(I promise)." I wish that promise will last forever as we held the pinky promise. But that turned to be all lies, he left me. He left me all alone.

When I was 12, my parents died in a car accident when they were going to pick me up from school. I was devastated at that time. I thought that God has forsaken me, no, I thought He doesn't exists anymore. I felt so alone, even my grandfather can't even comfort me. He was more worried about the company than my parents death. Not even my relatives can speak to me. I don't know anymore, anymore to believe. Why? Why doesn't grandpa even cry for them or even console me? But the person I want to be by my side doesn't even showed up. I tried to call him, but he isn't answering my calls. I hold on tight to that promise that promises that he already given up. Did he leave me? Does he already leave me all alone? Where is he? Why isn't he coming here to comfort me? At that time, my world collapsed at the hands of devastation, hopelessness and sadness. I tried to search for him at the places we always go, but nothing can be found. I went to his house running, helplessly to find him there with a comforting smile that can console me at this situation I am in. But, I never find him. I walk on the street unconsciously without a single thought where I was going to, or where I am right now. Then something caught my attention, I heard his voice nearby. Yes, I was right, it was he. I tried to walk to him even though I was tired, suddenly my body won't move on my own occurred. My whole body becomes numb at that moment, as if my soul was dissolving from the deepest of my despair. He was with someone else. And, what hurts more? He was happy with his other girl. 

--//End of Flashback//--

"I can't forgive you right now, Kaname. Not right now." I bowed down my head to hide my emotions I can't even confirm to myself.

"I know, I've done some terrible things to you. And I am willing to wait." I cast a deep sigh for disagreeing, but deep in my heart I long also for him. But a big part of me saying I am not ready to turn back to those memories that brought miseries to my childhood.

"I can't promise that, gomen." Without turning back to him I started to walk passed him. His hand grabs my wrist, pulls me to turns, and faces him. He tightened his grasp and pulled me closer to him until we are inches away from each other. Then he slowly pushed down his head until his forehead touches mine. Even just a simple gesture of his, he never failed to skip my heart, as if he was already pleading. It hurts me the most, and I know I hurt him this time. I tried to be strong infront of all the people so that they can't see this fragile part of me. I don't want to be hurt anymore, that's what I thought. But the longer I thought of that, the more I hurt myself and the people around me. The more I deny it, the more it coming to my senses, that I become so selfish. I tried to push people around me so that they wouldn't hurt me, but I realize that I am the one hurting them the most. I can't deny that fact, it's true. However, I can't let myself hurt anymore. I'm tired of this scenario, and I hate this.

"I know you're hurting right now. And I am one of the reasons why. But I promise you that I will never leave you again." That's the last lines Kaname said to me after that he gave me a light kiss to my forehead. Then he walks away from me. I know he was also tired of taking care of me all this time. He was strong and I am weak. Even the time when we were kid's I always rely on him. Itsumo. When will come the time when he will be the one needing me in his side? Maybe that will never happen. I pushed him away again, and it's my fault, my selfish self acted again so high and mighty. I wish that never happened. I wish we had the same relationship just like what we had at our past. I wish it were the same.