The Potions Master's Daughter (Book Three)

Chapter 37

My day went surprisingly well all things considered. Everyone pretty much left me and Hermione alone and since she couldn't be near Ron she and I sat by ourselves away from our friends in all of our classes giving us some more alone time. In the classes where I saw Blake I didn't even have to worry about confronting him because he basically ignored me.

After dinner was over and Hermione and I were walking up to the Gryffindor tower with Ginny, Susan and Cali when Neville came over, "Listen Jessica I know you want to be left alone and everything so you can say no but I was wondering if I could talk to you."

I sighed and replied, "Of course," he hadn't done anything and I knew I would have to talk to people eventually and Neville was the best person to start with, "I'll see you guys later okay?"

The other three girls nodded and continued to go up to the Gryffindor tower while Neville and I went to the room of requirement as I had begun to call it.

We went in and sat on a couch, "So how are you?" Neville asked, "Is there any reason you're avoiding everyone because I thought you were just mad at Blake?"

I sighed, "Girl code came into play a bit. Hermione isn't sure if she liked Ron or Viktor more but Ron keeps sending her mixed signals so she doesn't want to be around either of them for a while so I went with her. Ginny doesn't want to be near Dean and even though she's not in our classes I don't want to be nice to him sometimes and cold to him when Ginny is there, that's not right. The rest of you were just hanging out with them so we just avoided everyone. I'm definitely personally mad at Blake right now although I'm not sure why, I mean he's allowed to have other friends and to have a girlfriend it's just like we aren't even friends anymore."   

After I was done ranting Neville asked softly, "Are you sure it's to because there's something more going on between the two of you? You were mad when he made other friends but not this mad. Are you sure it's not because this time he has a girlfriend and it's not you?"

I waved my hand dismissively, "No we are just friends. I don't know why I got mad that he has a girlfriend but I am."

Neville smiled sadly at me and replied, "Jessica I know you probably haven't thought about this because you don't seem super interested in boys right now but I think it might be because you like him. You guys seem to connect really well and people can't hurt you this deeply unless you truly love them."

I sighed and laid down on the other couch and put my hands over my face, "I honestly don't know how I feel about him. I refuse to think or talk about it so that doesn't help anything. Sometimes he feels like a brother like when it's me Severus and Blake hanging out but sometimes we do romantic things like go for walks at night and he gives me his jacket and I think there might be something. But he's with Lydia now so it doesn't even matter what I think."

Neville sat near my feet in the little bit of open space, "You should probably talk or at least think about it some more so that you know for yourself. He could break up with Lydia or if you told him how you feel he could leave her for you, you never know. You're perfect in every single way, there's no way he wouldn't chose you."

I allowed myself a small smile, "Thanks Neville you're the best. If he and Lydia break up maybe I'll give it some more thought but I don't want to break them up if he's happy and then realize I don't actually want a relationship with him."

"Does this mean you're going to try and talk to him?" asked Neville, "Are you going to tell him you saw everything because from the way you guys didn't even talk today it seems like he doesn't know you know and Snape had said to be invisible."

I nodded, "Yeah he doesn't know I was there and he looked plenty embarrassed by just Severus being there. I might just not tell him and avoid that awkwardness. I might make up with him in the future but right now maybe some distance from him is a good idea if he's going to continue to be with Lydia."

We talked for a while more. About me and Blake for a bit and then I filled him in on what had happened with Hermione, Ron, Viktor, Ginny and everyone else. He already knew some of the back story such as Harry liking Ginny and he knew Ginny and Dean had been fighting but some of it that had just happened a couple nights ago was news to him. It was nice to talk to him again and as we were heading back to the Gryffindor tower I just felt guilty. I was going to make them all hate me, maybe very soon. It would all be for the greater good and hopefully when the truth came out they would forgive me but for those few months or years that the war was going on, they were all going to hate me ad there wasn't going to be the opportunity for me to go to Neville whenever I had a problem. None of them deserved to be hurt and betrayed, especially not Neville.