Tim FREAKING McGraw

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Chapter Forty-One
Tim FREAKING McGraw

I couldn't believe what I was seeing. Tears formed in my eyes. I missed her. I missed her like crazy. All I want is to be in her arms one more time. Hear her tell me how much she loves me one more time. Have a late night 'girl talk' about Chris on my bed in our pajamas and fall asleep together when we can no longer stay awake. Get embarassed when she shows Chris old baby pictures of me and wrestles me to get the book back after I take it. Hibernate in the house when she calls in sick on a Saturday and watch chick flicks until our eyes pop out. All I want is to relive the old times with her again. And all I want is for her to be back with me again. Celebrate with Chris and I on our wedding day, fight to hold her first grandchild in her arms, figure out ways to spoil my child behind my back and teach them things that neither Chris nor I ever could. All I want, is my mommy to come home.

"Oh baby," Chris sighed as a tear dripped down my cheek. He wrapped me up in his grasp and held me tight like he'd never let go.

"She was my best friend" I cried into his chest "they took my best friend!"

"I know honey I know" he cooed.

Chris

I hated seeing her like this. I've done everything I can to avoid talking about mum for too long. I know that doesn't sound quite right, but I hated seeing Nicole upset. I hated it. She was such an amazing girl, she didn't deserve to have to feel this way. She didn't deserve her best friends moving to other countries. She didn't deserve losing her mum; her rock. She didn't deserve her father leaving her and coming back only to leave her again. She didn't deserve any of it. The least she deserved was a completely perfect life with both parents happily in love, all the friends she could ever need right by her side at all times, and the perfect boyfriend who didn't bring all of the baggage that I did. The army, my parents and all that shit. I know she could do better. But she chose me. And I couldn't be happier about that. I would never make her regret that.

Nicole and I had an interesting relationship. We rarely fought and when we did, it lasted no longer than an hour, we kiss and make up and that's the end of it. No grudges, no secrets. We tell each other everything. We stay up until the early hours of the morning just talking. I love that we never run out of things to talk about. I could just sit and talk to her for days and the same topic wouldn't reoccur once. I've liked her from the second I saw her sitting on the beach, and I've loved her since that night at the fair. And I would love her with all of my heart until the world comes to a stop.

I love her laugh, I love her smile, I love the way her wavy hair falls over her shoulders, I love the way her voice sounds in the morning and every second of every day. I love the dimple above her lip, I love the face she makes at me when I've made her mad. I love everything about her.

I wiped the stray tears from her cheeks and kissed her forehead. I know how much she misses her mum. I know because I was in her position when my parents died. I never thought life after that would get better. I never thought I would see the light of day again. Addison, Ryan and I would stay cooped up in our house for days upon days only leaving to walk down to the grocery store to re-stock the fridge. That lasted an entire summer and ended when we had to return to school. Every summer for four years consisted of the three of us hiding away from our lives. Then, Ryan and I joined the army the summer after senior year. Addison stayed behind and lived with one of her friends from high school while she attended UC Berkley to get a degree in health studies. She then got a a job as a dietician back in Roseville; ten minutes from Beckton. But when I got shot in the hip, she wasn't at work for a little while and her boss wasn't understanding at all. He had her fired. I don't think she didn't talk to me because of her job, I think she didn't talk to me because I got badly hurt and I went back and risked having that same thing happen again. That really got to me because she wasn't the type to hold a grudge. But when I heard that she had secretly been calling Ryan everyday, I knew I hadn't lost her.

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