Stigma Love's Algorithm [ A BTS x Reader Poly ]

Chapter 16: When Life Shakes You

But as the hours passed, it was clear: our mom wasn't going to wake up anytime soon.

Hannah and Jeoff eventually left to let Nari and I rest, but I could feel the anxiety creeping up again, the gnawing fear that we were losing her.

Nari had fallen asleep on my shoulder, the weight of exhaustion pulling her into a deep slumber.

I was wide awake though, my mind racing. I could only stare at our mom, her still, silent form, listening to the sound of the machines.

It was the only thing that kept me from losing my mind-her chest rising and falling, though barely.

Time felt like it was moving too slowly, but also too fast. How could it feel like both at once?

I stepped out of the room around dinner time, feeling like I needed to do something-anything.

The hospital cafeteria was dim and depressing, but I forced myself to grab a tray for Nari.

I didn't care about eating, though. I picked up just a bottle of water for myself and made my way back to the room.

When I entered, Nari was awake, staring down at her phone, her expression distant.

Her exhaustion was evident, but she immediately straightened up when she saw me.

"Hey," I said quietly, setting the tray of food down on the small table next to her. "I got you some dinner. It's not much, but..."

She looked at the food, then at me, a small frown forming on her face. "You didn't get anything for yourself?"

"I'm fine," I muttered, sitting down in the chair beside her. "Not hungry."

Nari raised an eyebrow, a faint smile appearing despite the exhaustion that lingered in her eyes. "You're kidding, right? Mom would've shoved that chicken down your throat if she were awake. You know she would've wanted you to eat."

I chuckled softly, but the sound was bitter, full of tension. The mention of Mom made my chest ache. "Yeah, she would've."

The humor quickly faded, and we fell into silence. It wasn't comfortable, but it was what we both needed.

We were both drowning in our own grief and worry, and we didn't know how to pull ourselves out of it.

Finally, Nari sighed and set her phone down, meeting my gaze. "Oppa, you don't have to be strong all the time, you know?"

I felt my throat tighten.

The weight of her words settled heavily in me, and for a moment, I couldn't speak.

When I finally did, my voice was barely above a whisper. "I just... I don't know how to do this anymore," I admitted, the words slipping out before I could stop them. "I keep thinking I've messed up. I haven't been there for you like I should've."

She looked at me, her expression confused. "What do you mean?"

I closed my eyes, my fingers curling around the bottle of water, trying to steady myself. "After Dad left, Mom worked herself to the bone to take care of us. She worked so hard just to keep us afloat. And I promised her I'd make sure you and I were okay, that I'd do everything I could to give you both a better life so she could rest. But... I don't know how to do that. I don't know how to be a family anymore. Even when I did everything I could, it never felt like enough. And sometimes... sometimes I think Mom still misses him. That she's still in love with him, even after everything. And I wonder if you... if you and Mom would've been better off with him. Maybe you'd want him, not me."

The words tumbled out, and with them came the guilt I'd been carrying for years. I didn't know why I had to say them now, but it felt like something inside me had cracked, and there was no stopping it. My chest burned as I spoke, my voice thick with unshed tears.