Strings in the Beginning (Abrupt Series #2)

EPISODE 12

"I'm s-sorry, Nate. Hindi na ako magtatanong tungkol sa kanya," he muttered, downing the rest of his glass in one go.

"I'm just waiting for you to finish your drink para makauwi ka na," I said coldly, my tone biting. "Hindi ko na gugustuhin pang tumagal ka rito. Baka kung saan pa umabot ang mga tanong mo."

He smiled then, but it was a broken smile it carries pain that you try so hard to hide but it can't. His eyes lingered on me, searching for something I wasn't willing to give.

"What?" I raised an eyebrow, irritation bubbling in my chest.

He chuckled, low and soft, pero dinikitan na ako ng irita.

"I just thought... you already loved someone else before. I assume he's your first boyfriend. Tama ba ako?"

His words made my breath hitch. "Oo naman! Bakit dahil lang sa mahal na mahal kita noon ay akala mo sa 'yo lang iikot ang mundo ko?" direktang tanong ko sa kanya.

I'm shocked but I wasn't defensive.

"Relax," he murmured, shaking his head, but his gaze didn't waver. His next words, though, caught me completely off guard. "If you've moved on... you can give me a chance, right? To be your friend again. To be your best friend again."

I stared at him, dumbfounded. Then I let out a laugh, a real and uncontrollable laugh that left tears in my eyes.

"Seryoso ka? Ang bilis mo pala tamaan ng alak, Conrad. Soju lang 'yan, hoy! Pinagsasabi mo?" Umiling ang ulo kong tanong.

I'm still laughing but now more out of disbelief than humor.

"Hindi gano'n 'yon. Oo, naka-move on na ako sa pagkakagusto sa 'yo, pero dahil lang do'n ay pwede na kitang maging kaibigan ulit? Baliw ka pala, beh."

His expression faltered, but I didn't let up. "We can be casual, Conrad. You're my boss, and I can work with you. But friends? Best friends? Hindi na. Hindi ko na gugustuhing mangyari pa."

My voice wavered, but I pushed through, wanting him to understand each word. "I shouted at you that afternoon, and maybe that was enough for me. Pero hindi ko na kaya maging kaibigan mo ulit. Kaya let's keep it simple. Talk to me about work, and that's it."

For a moment, he said nothing. Just stared at me with his shallow breathing, and now his glass was almost empty. Isang inom na lang. But when he finally spoke, his voice was rough, laced with regret.

"I'm really sorry, Nate. Sobra. Kung pwede ko lang balikan lahat ng nangyari, I would... I would have fixed it."

His words swayed heavily in the air, and for the first time, I saw the cracks in his armor, the guilt he carried, the pain he tried to hide.

But I couldn't let myself feel it. Not again. Not for him.

"I saw you everyday fighting for our friendship..." His voice cracked, breaking through the silence like the snap of a fragile thread. "Fighting for what you could save, and I—I'm sorry if I didn't give you a chance to do that. Galit na galit din ako sa sarili ko noon dahil... bakit hindi kita kayang patawarin? Bakit hindi ko man lang magawang tingnan ka ng walang galit, eh, ikaw ang isa sa mga taong pinakamahalaga sa akin?"

He paused, taking the last sip of soju from his glass, but his words lingered in the air like an open wound. Nang magtama ang mga mata namin ay para akong tinusok sa dibdib. His eyes were now clouded and dense, weren't the ones I had known before.

There was no arrogance, no teasing grin only a raw sadness that threatened to suffocate me.

"Hindi ko alam, Nate," he said, his voice dropping to almost a whisper. "Masyado akong naging matigas no'n. Hindi ko man lang naisip na nadudurog ka na pala dahil sa akin."