~💜🍑Ask Shadowpeach🍑💜~

~💜🍑Ask #30🍑💜~

This ask is from FresaStar190 on AO3!: To macaque: would you rather not have Wukong or not have your shadow powers?

To Wukong and macaque: who has the most fluffiest fur of both of you?

To Wukong: is macaque handsome?
To macaque: is Wukong beautiful?

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Macaque & Wukong had gotten bored, so the black-furred simian had pulled a box of Monkey King-themed UNO cards out from one of his shadow portals.

Now they were playing their 10th game in just 15 minutes, and so far, Macaque had won them all.

He wasn't afraid to admit that he was a x2 & x4 change colour hoarder. 

It wasn't technically cheating to save every. single. one until the time came to use them all and force your opponent into picking up like 16 cards, was it? 

No, it was just called playing smart no matter how much Wukong claimed he was cheating.

So no, it wasn't cheating. Wukong was just a sore fucking loser, and it showed by the way he flipped the table they were playing on after losing the 6th game.

Wukong wasn't any better this time either because as soon as Macaque started placing down x2's, the golden monkey looked like he was ready to fucking gut him.

Wukong tried to retaliate with his own x2's, but...Macaque unfortunately had more, and in the end he was forced to pick up 12 new cards.

Macaque, on the other hand...

Macaque: Uno.

Got fucking Uno again!

Wukong knew he was going to lose for the 10th time in a row and decided to fucking rage quit by standing up, picking up the table they were playing on, and throwing it out the open window with a scream.

Wukong: How do you keep fucking winning!? Wait—no, better question. How the FUCK do you keep picking up more x2's than me? Are you fucking cheating!?

Macaque grinned at him, amused by his reaction.

Macaque: Nope. No cheating on this monkeys end though...I DO have better luck in card games than you do, Wukong. Also, you are a really terrible sore loser.

The golden simian huffed, crossing his arms.

Wukong: I am so NOT a terrible sore loser!

Grin still firmly on his face Macaque shook his head and chuckled slightly.

Macaque: Wukong, you literally just threw our table out the window—which, by the way, you're replacing if you ever want to sleep in our nest again.

The horrified screech Wukong let out at the prospect of never being allowed in their nest again shook the very Heavens.

It also appeared to summon a certain floating screen since it materialised in front of them right afterwards.

Wukong snapped his mouth shut in shock.

Macaque lost his grin, and both monkeys read over the questions carefully.

Macaque's face took on a grim expression.

Macaque: Well, on one hand, my powers are a part of me, so if I lost them, I'd feel pretty empty and also probably weak.

Macaque: Then again, on the other hand, if I lost Wukong, I'd never be able to take another mate since monkey demons actually mate for life, plus I'd just miss cuddling with the idiot.

He ignored the indignant "Hey!" from Wukong.

Macaque: So even though it's a tough choice, I unfortunately have to choose Wukong.

Wukong gasped.

Wukong: What do you mean, "Unfortunately?" Picking me shouldn't be unfortunate!

The shadow user hummed.

Macaque: Debatable.

Another gasp.

Wukong: You asshole!

The black-furred simian just shrugged at him and read the second question.

And Wukong, after calming down, also read the second question.

 Both monkeys answered at the same time.

Macaque & Wukong: I do/Macaque does.

Macaque smiled black tail wagging a little.

Macaque: Unlike Wukong, I take extra great care of my fur. The fact it's also naturally thicker and fluffier than Wukong's golden fur is another reason I take care of it so much.

Wukong nodded along.

Wukong: It's true. My own fur is a lot thinner and less fluffy than Macaque's fur. In fact, the thickness and fluffiness of Macaque's fur actually makes him the PERFECT cuddle buddy in the cold, harsh winters.

Macaque snorted, crossing his arms.

Macaque: Yeah, and a hindrance in the hot, harsh summers.

Wukong smiled awkwardly, not knowing what to say to that, as his own fur actually kept him quite cool during the summer.

Macaque raised an eyebrow at the golden monkey's awkward smile but ultimately shook his head and read the final question, which Wukong followed suit.

Both promptly looked at each other and snickered.

Wukong: I think that should be the other way around, kid, because Macaque is absolutely gorgeous.

A purr from the black-furred monkey.

Macaque: I also think it should be the other way around because Wukong is absolutely stunning.