Strings in the Beginning (Abrupt Series #2)

EPISODE 06

"Is that why you're asking Chef Oli where I live?" I interrupted, trying to stop him from going further.

He shook his head. "No, I just wanted to know. Mom told me you're not living with Tita-Nang anymore."

"Oh, ngayon na nalaman mo na. Masaya ka na?" I couldn't hide the irritation in my voice.

"Kailan ba tayo magiging okay, Nate?"

His voice softened, a trace of desperation slipping through.

I let out a sharp, bitter laugh at his question, closing my eyes as I took a long, steady breath.

"For God's sake, Conrad, we will never be okay. Nothing will ever change the way I see you." I was staring directly into his eyes when I said it.

Pinigilan kong hindi isigaw iyon sa pagmumukha niya.

Ramdam ko ang panginginig ng mga labi ko ng tuluyan ng lumungkot ang kanyang mukha. And my heart suddenly stop moving when a scene from the past showed up inside my head.

A scene where I was crying in front of him.

Marahan akong lumapit sa kanya na nanginginig ang bawat ugat na dumadaloy sa buong katawan ko. Watching him now are trying to pull a trigger on me upang sumabog.

"Can I ask you something?" I asked, my voice low but sharp enough to cut through the silence. Conrad nodded hesitantly. "Bakit ba umuwi ka pa?"

"Nate..." he whispered, almost like a plea.

Nararamdaman niya sigurong kaunti na lang na lang ay gusto ko na sumabog. Lalo na't unti-unti ng umuukit muli a utak ko ang mga pinagdaanan ko dahil sa kanya.

"Why did you come back?" I repeated, louder this time, each word laced with bitterness.

"Gusto kong ayusin lahat... ang buhay ko, at humingi ng tawad sa 'yo," he replied, his voice was trembling.

"Seriously?" I scoffed, the laugh bitter and hollow. "You could've sent that apology in a text. You didn't have to show your face. At kung gusto mo baguhin buhay mo, sa rehab ka pumunta. Don't come to me with that pathetic excuse."

"Nate, I know how much you hated me," he pleaded, a desperation creeping into his tone. "But can you at least hear me out? Alam ko kung gaano mo ako gustong iwasan—"

"Alam mo pala, eh!"

I cut him. "Then what the hell are you doing here? Conrad, don't beg me for something that I can't give. I'm not like you— walang awa at walang hiya. Stop this nonsense because you won't get anything from me."

I took a step closer, my voice dropping to a cold, deliberate tone. "Matagal na kitang binura sa buhay ko. Do yourself a favor... gayahin mo ako. Burahin mo rin ako. Trust me, mas magaling ka bumura ng tao sa buhay mo."

"I'm not doing it anymore, Nate," he said, his voice trembling but firm, his eyes searching mine like he was trying to dig up something that I buried. "I want to be your friend again... your best friend. Your Connie..."

The nickname hit like a stray bullet. Abrupt, sharp, and far too close to a wound I thought had healed.

"But I don't want to. Ayaw ko na at hindi ko na gugustuhin pa. May magagawa ka ba?"

"I would do anything," he answered.

Para akong malalagutan nang hininga ng marating ko ang dalawang mata niyang pumupungay ng dahil sa lungkot na nararamdaman. My throat are both drying and shaking and I was about to cry when someone knocked at the door. Sabay kaming napatingin doon at sa posisyon naming dalawa ay mabilis kong inayos ang sarili ko upang tumakas sa harapan niya.