Behind the Screen (a Tom Hiddleston Story)

9. Balls of Silk

Nights got longer and days got shorter and before too long, leaves had fallen to the ground and disintegrated into mere fragments of their former selves. Much like Kate whom hadn't had to be on set much but hadn't felt up to leaving her trailer so had been practically slumming it out on set under her duvet. She hadn't felt the same since Tom had stopped communicating with her; it had got so bad that she had downright rejected the invitation to the Christmas ball in fear of having to see him. Everyday had brought more pain and loneliness, resulting in a lacking appetite hence the spoiled cakes and left overs that Gina had dropped off a while ago and the pungent smell of mold was now slowly filling the room. Not wanting to move out of bed, Kate had heard a faint knock on her door but decided to pretend not to have heard it knowing full well who it was awaiting her attention. Gina. As per usual she was being told to "maybe eat more" and "maybe take a shower" because it "might make her feel better. But the only thing that would make her feel better was a man whom she assumed had forgotten her existence.

"ALRIGHT I'M COMING!" she yelled after several more urgent bashes on her now surely dented front door. "What- oh hi Rach sorry I thought you were my boss...." Rachel was her best friend and makeup artist who made her look perfectly flawless for the screen.

"Nice to see you too. Can I come in? Or more to the point do I want to come in?" She said whilst looking around at the messy piles that now had amounted to mountains rather than smalls covering the carpet.

"mmh," Kate trailed off back to her bedroom, kicking the table out of the way as she did so leaving Rachel to observe what actually had become of her friend. "Jesus Kate, what the hell is wrong with you," she muttered as she picked up a worn bra and pants off the dirt-ridden floor between her thumb and index finger in disgust. Throwing the undergarments into the empty washing basket, she headed in Kate's bedroom.

"Girl, What the hell happened?" She whispered as she sat on the end of her bed as it began to shake slightly from the vibrations of Kate, who had been silently sobbing to herself, which was something Rachel thought maybe wasn't an irregularity for her of late. "Its a guy I know that much unless a family member has died?" Kate shook her head indicating it was man troubles.

"Ah okay good, but not obviously. Its Tom isn't it?" She stiffened slightly at the mention of his name. It was bad enough seeing his face whenever she closed her eyes let alone being reminded that he actually existed. Sitting up slouching slightly against the cushions on her bed she replied in a faint delicate, almost fragile whisper, "Yeah, maybe a little. He's... he's...." She began to sob again and Rachel put her hand over her right shoulder and pulled her into a firm, but loving, hug. Several minutes later when she had managed to calm herself enough to speak coherently she began to explain everything.

"Christ, Kate, Why haven't you called me before now? Have you been living here? You're literally skin and bones! Okay, not quite but you've lost some weight. Please say you're coming tonight? it might cheer you up a bit? I can then prove that sir Thomas Hiddleston is not ignoring you. I'll get my PA to get you a dress as you obviously haven't got one. We are getting out of here, and you will have a decent meal and we will get you looking stunning for the man of your dreams, come on!"

The dress was beautiful. Made of the finest satin and silks; perfect for a winter ball. And the food? Mouth-wateringly delicious. But she couldn't help but think she wished Rachel was Tom as bad as that sounded. She needed to feel his touch, hear his voice and smell his manly scent in the crook of his neck.

She wasn't looking forward to being shoved into a room full of snobby actors and actresses and people who preferred a glass of wine over a hot chocolate but she went much to her friend's satisfaction. Everyone looked stunning, making Kate compare her ordinary, mundane, freshly washed self against the most perfect of women. The night was mainly spent with her shadowing Rachel and about an hour away from the event finishing and many shaken hands later she was about to leave when the music came to an abrupt stop and the middle of the dance floor was emptying fast. Was this it? I thought there was at least an hour left? She thought to herself as she leaned on some spare chairs that had been shoved to the back of the hall to make room for the dance floor.

Before she could think, Rachel had grabbed a tight hold of her hand and was pulling her towards the center of the room and was at the focal point of everyone that had attended the evening, meaning Tom somewhere out there was watching. Just as she was about to take 'center stage' she saw someone that made her stomach churn and vomit rise from the pit of her stomach. It was that woman she had seen speaking in close proximity to Tom outside his trailer. "What the fuck is she doing here?" she muttered to Rachel under her breath which was now hitching in the back of her throat in anxiety.

"Who her? That's Aggie, my boss. She organized tonight. Not this part of tonight though." Just as she was about to inquire as to what the hell she was on about a figure who she could have easily devoured there and then stood into the light, making her catch her breath for a second or two. Tom. Standing there as though butter wouldn't melt, unlike Kate who felt as though she'd already disintegrated like the autumn leaves on the slippery pavement. She was the cause of her own pain. All these months alone was pointless.

She wasn't trying to get Tom for herself. She wanted Kate to have him and she'd planned all this for her. But why hadn't Tom called by? Not even once? With all these thoughts clouding her mind she had almost lost sight of her whereabouts and was now inches away from Tom's toned body, his arms outstretched as though ready to catch her if she fell.

"Hey, beautiful." He smiled a soft, worried smile. One she was faced with on a regular basis lately.

"Why didn't you call?" was all she could muster up to say to him.

"Work, and I didn't trust myself to keep this a secret. I love you-you know and as soon as Rachel told me what a state you were in I couldn't live with myself so avoided you more as to cause you less pain. I'm sorry my love...." He trailed off and turned his head to look at the floor, like a puppy who's just shredded a new sofa.

Without thinking, Kate grabbed hold of the sides of his face and pulled him to her as they melted into each other. Cheer from their spectators only spurred them on more making Kate feel as though she was flying. The electricity between them was stronger than ever, as though time itself had made their love for one another stronger with each second apart.

Pulling away with freshly flushed cheeks, Kate began to feel a sudden rush of confidence flow through her. Perhaps it was the alcohol she'd consumed in order to be emotionally prepared for tonight.

"Promise me something?" she made sure her hands remained on the sides of his face giving her a direct look into his line of sight.

"Anything,"

"Don't you ever, EVER do that to me again..." she trailed off feeling her emotions rising like a lump of lava, plugging itself into her throat. Swallowing hard she found herself staring at the floor in the hope that he'd just say okay and leave it at that. But this was Tom and he wasn't the sort to back down and leave things slightly troubled. This was also what Kate liked about his wonderful personality.

"I won't. I was an idiot." He replied with a shrug of his shoulders, grabbing Kate's arms which were still loosely hanging from his cheeks.

"Just an idiot?" She smiled as she lowered her hands to rest her arms around his neck as the music decreased in pace so that they were practically slow dancing.

"Okay, I was an idiotic, foolish, unbearable prick. Better?" He smiled through his teeth as he said it. Kate was not prepared for what happened next though.

He was still laughing as he placed his hands firmly around her waist and heaved her up with the ease of lifting a feather so that she was wrapped around his middle. He moved his hands so that they supported her bottom as Kate kissed him. It was a loving kiss, as though the two of them were never to see each other again. A life depending kiss.

She could smell his musky scent on the collar of his shirt and taste the toothpaste he must have used to freshen himself up earlier that evening. His lips as soft and silky as a well-loved blanket. Kate could feel herself getting lost in the moment as several people were now coughing awkwardly around them.

Putting her down gently with a pant or two, Tom whispered something which nearly made her weak at the knees, "That's enough for now... Later," he winked at her as she steadied herself against the table which was pushed up against the wall.