Synyster ~ A Place So Dark...So Cold ~ Gates {Book 1}

Synyster Gates Ch 6

I finished the bite of food and wiped my mouth. "Matt..." I didn't want to tell him all my secrets but there just wasn't anyone else I could talk to. Tears gathered in my eyes and I sighed in frustration not able to form the words. "It's just hard...I want to be with Syn but every time we get close someone stops us and it's just frustrating." I knew my face was bright red at having said those words.

He nodded understanding. "Does Syn know how you feel?" I shook my head no. "How does he feel?" It never crossed my mind that this was equally frustrating for him, I shook my head again this time my mind was swirling with questions...does Syn feel the same?...Is he left wanting...like me?...does he...love me?

I stood quickly, I needed to talk to Syn...It felt like forever before we made it back to the bus. I was ready to talk...Syn needed to understand...

He wasn't on the bus or with the guys. Tears filled my eyes...maybe I ran him off for good this time. He could only take so much. I sat down as the tears flooded down my cheeks. I didn't want to lose Syn...ever...Jimmy sat next to me and Matt sat on the opposite side, silently understanding...

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It had been hours since I returned to find Syn...gone. It was late and the guys all went to their bunks but I waited up. I wanted to see...Syn...my head rested against the couch as I fought to stay awake. My eyes were still red from crying. 

"Gwen?" I sat up as Syn walked onto the bus. I ran to him hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry Syn! It's just so hard to be this close to you and not be with you....I love you!" the emotions choked me as Syn hugged me tighter then pulled my chin up so he could kiss me. "I'm sorry...."

"It's alright...I love you too!" He kissed me again this time I ran my hands through his hair, then down to his shoulders, and finally rested them on his chest. He grabbed my hand and lead me to the couch then we sat down. I watched as he pulled a small box from the bag I hadn't noticed he had before. He handed me the box and I opened it feeling excited. 

"Syn..." I pulled a beautiful gold necklace from the box, it had a gold heart trimmed in diamonds. It was perfect. "It's wonderful..."  

"There's more..." He pulled out a similar box. "This is for your sister." I took it and opened it...it was the exact same as mine except it didn't have the diamonds.

"Syn...Why?" I asked curiously.

"Because you talk in your sleep...and I wanted to thank your sister for giving me the chance to meet...you." Tears filled my eyes as I looked at him....He took my necklace and put it back in the box then sat them aside pulling me into his arms. I hugged him tightly before leaning up to kiss him.

Syn pulled back and grabbed my hands leading me back to the bunks and gently pushing me onto my bunk...I pulled him to me as desire ran through me...I waited so long for this...he kissed me again as I ran my hands all over him...wanting to feel everything...

He pulled away long enough to close the curtain that separated my bunk from the rest...then his lips collided with mine as we lost ourselves in eachother...

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I woke up and reached for Syn but the bed was cold beside me...he was probably trying to save me from embarassment but I still felt a pang of longing...I tossed on my clothes and went to find him...

"Yeah...I gave it to her last night! You should have seen the look on her face...she loved it!" Syn's voice...those words...he...Val was right! Hurt and broken hearted I ran back to the bus. Tears fell quickly down my cheeks leaving warm trails that I wiped away. 

I didn't want to be like Val and lord over Syn...the only thing I could do was...leave...even though the thought of never seeing Syn again killed me I had to save us both from what that would be like. With tears flooding down my face I packed my few belongings and the necklace Syn got for Stacy. I left mine on my bunk...I know it wasn't meant for us to be together...so I couldn't take the reminder of last night...

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