THE clouds thundered and the rain fell heavily as if the heavens are sympathizing with us. It is crying with me as I embraced myself from the cold wind. I looked down, and thought how dark and unpleasing my clothes are right now. Hindi dapat sila itim. Hindi rin dapat puti.
I shouldn't be here.
"Let's go, Nadj. Baka magkasakit ka rito."
"May payong ako." Humigpit ang pagkakahawak ko sa payong. "Hindi ako magkakasakit."
"Even so. Sumama ka na sa akin. Pumasok ka na sa kotse. I'm worried, Nadia. Nakauwi na ang lahat. Pagabi na. Let's bring Apollo home, hmm? Let's go."
"It's not fair." May bikig sa lalamunan ko. Masakit ito. "It's not fair that they died. It's not fair. N-nagsisimula pa lang kami, a-ate. Ni hindi pa kami ikinakasal sa simbahan. Ni hindi niya pa alam kung babae o lalaki ang kambal namin. Apollo did not need to die....he shouldn't have died!"
And I cried heavily, asking why the fuck did my husband die. Asking if this is really happening.
Or I'm inside a nightmare.
It wasn't a nightmare.
Realidad ito ng buhay.
Na hindi ko lang matanggap-tanggap.
"Hello, I'm home." I can't even speak his name. Because everytime I try to speak his name, I always feel he's still alive. And he wasn't. He's long gone. Wala na siya at hindi na muling babalik pa.
I caressed the urn and smiled.
3 years has passed. I'm better than last year. I became number, everything became more normal for me than before. Hindi na ako masyadong umiiyak. Nakakatulog na rin ako nang maayos. Siguro napagod na rin ako kakaiyak. Or my heart soon learned how to bury the pain deep, far from me to feel it anymore.
"Amin-amin na yan, Donis! Donis, Donis! Amin-amin na yan kasi mahal-mahal, mahal ko yang toy."
Mas lumawak ang ngiti ko nang marinig iyon.
My twins grew up, they're my three-years old babies now. They learned how to walk, they learned how to talk. They're growing up. At sa kanila ko lang itinutuon ang atensyon ko. I hope you're seeing this everyday. We're getting better, right? I hope you are as well.
"Thena, pangit!"
And my princess gasped loudly.
Nakabukas ang pintuan kaya hindi ko na kailangan kumatok pa. Sumilip na lang ako at nadatnan ang tila isang teleserye. I almost bursted out laughing upon seeing my twins and their nanny for today---their kuya Deon.
Pinag-aagawan ng kambal ang isang Dora na stuff toy at nagsasagutan pa. They are like fighting for the custody of the toy. While Deon is seriously watching the twins. Nakaupo ito sa kama, sa gitna habang nakakrus ang mga braso.
"What's your defense, Adonis?" Seryosong tanong ni Deon.
Napatakip ako sa bibig para pigilan ang pagtawa.
"Dora does not like pangit, koya Devon. Kaya, kaya Thena pangit. Dora, hindi kay Thena."
Athena gasped again. Loudly.
"It's kuya Deon, Adonis. And Athena, you. What are you going to say?"
"Love-love si Dora ko! Love-love ko siya! Kahit pangit si Thena, love ko si Dora!"
"Okay, Dora will go to Athena. Congrats."
Pumasok na ako sa kuwarto nang magsimulang umiyak ang anak kong lalaki. And Athena, upon seeing me, immediately jumped in happiness. Napatayo na rin si Deon at agad na nagmano sa akin. The twins, just like what I've taught them, also did what their kuya did. Nagmano rin sila sa akin.
BINABASA MO ANG
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RomanceAurora Nadia Valencia--- a simple woman who has a passion for teaching and a woman who lives in a simple home, near the woods. She's contented, comfortable, not until a conflict between two groups in the country broke out. She's been living almost w...
