Bullet

Chapter 8

NAPAKURAP-KURAP ako sa narinig. Please? Please, Aurora? It even sounded as if he's begging. Napakalambot ng boses at halos bulong na lamang iyon. Kaya wala akong nagawa kundi at mapayuko at tahimik na umupo sa upuan. I waited for him to finish washing our mugs.

My breathing hitched when I heard him turned the faucet off.

His sleeves are rolled up to his forearms, and I can see his veins crawling up from his wrists to his arms. Ipinunas niya ang mga basang kamay sa pantalon at pagkatapos ay bumaling na sa akin.

I avoided his eyes.

The chair creaked as he silently sat on it. Umupo siya sa harapan ko at ramdam na ramdam ko ang pagtitig niya sa akin. We act as if it never happened at all. Parang hindi kami nagkataasan ng boses kanina, parang hindi nag-away.

"Bakit, sir? May sasabihin---"

"Don't call me that."

Doon ako napatingin sa kaniya. My forehead creased. "Po? Anong huwag kitang tawagin ng ganiyan?"

His fox eyes remained staring at me. Slowly, I'm becoming conscious of my face. Nakakatakot talaga siya, at nahihiya ako sa kaniya. Pero hindi ko na matiis ang nangyari kanina. I'm so tired, sleepy, and my arms are already aching from everything.

"You know what I mean." Umiwas ito ng tingin.

"Hindi po talaga, sir. Hindi ko---"

"Aurora." He cut off my words again! "Sorry."

I was taken aback. Lalo na nang muling bumalik ang mga mata niya sa akin. I saw how his lips parted, but then it closed again. Parang may gusto siyang sabihin na hindi niya masabi. And then, I saw how it opened again, but he paused and groaned lowly.

"Ano po iyon?"

"Damn it." I heard him muttered under his breath. "I'm not good in this."

"Not good in what?"

He sighed exasperatedly. Parang hirap na hirap ito. Ano bang gusto niyang sabihin at hindi niya masabi-sabi?

"Fucki---"

"Wait, sir. Huwag niyo pong ituloy." Napahawak ako sa tenga. "Masakit po sa pandinig ang mga mura. As much as possible, and if puwede po, huwag na huwag kayong magmumura kapag kasama ako. Thank you po."

Mabuti ay hindi niya na pinutol ang pagsasalita ko.

"Sorry, damn---" Siya mismo ang tumigil at napatakip sa bunganga. "Sorry, Aurora."

I don't know but he looks like a child right now scared to be reprimanded by his mother. Umiwas ito ng tingin sa akin habang nakatakip pa rin ang kamay sa bunganga. Bakit ba hingi siya nang hingi ng sorry sa akin? At bakit palagi siyang napapamura?

It looks like he's panicking inside. Hindi naman yata, diba?

"Are you okay, sir---"

"Valente. Valente, Aurora. That's what you call me, right? Valente?"

Realization slowly dawned over me. Wait. This is all what it is about? This is what this fuss is all about? Dahil tinatawag ko siyang sir at hindi Valente? Pakiramdam ko ay nakikipagkarera ang puso ko dahil bigla na lang itong bumilis sa pagtibok. Maybe I am assuming but I don't understand as well why I'm nervous and anticipating.

"Yes, sir. Valente ang tawag ko sa iyo. Val. Bakit po?"

Disappointment flickered in his eyes. "See? You're still mad. I'm sorry. I meant it but I never fucking---I m-mean, I don't---argh."

Natulala na lang ako sa kaniya. I never saw him like this. Palaging maayos at kalmado pero ngayon ay hindi na mapalagay at kanina pa siya nadudulas sa mga pagmumura niya.