What if

Chapter 70

Angela's pov
The call ends.
Shit.
I immediately call back, it rings and rings. Nothing.
I jump up and immediately run into Tim's office barging in.
"Woah Angela!" He exclaims.
"Hey, look I fucked up I think" I say almost freaking out, my hearts racing. I can't breathe.
"Sit down and breathe. Talk to me Ange. Whats going on?" He says as he jumps out of his seat leaving his paperwork and he comes to sit on the sofa with me.
"Ange breath"

Tim's pov
"Deep breaths Ange. Talk to me."
She takes a deep breath in and out.
"I was on the phone to Lucy.. you know for the welfare check..we was talking. She wanted to talk about a case.."
"A case?" I look at her puzzled, remembering the call I had with her yesterday.
"Yeah, about Ella. She asked if we found the man, I told her we had. She said she wanted to send her regards on to her and that she felt like she had messed up on that case. I said she hadnt..."
"Ange breathe"
She sighs.
I turn and look at her, I nod sympathetically at her.
"I told her that I couldn't tell her that Ella had taken her own life three days ago. Not when she's blaming her self and she's already struggling..."
"You told her didn't you?"
"Not exactly, she said please tell me she didn't, I could hear her voice cracking. She sounded breathless almost. I just said I'm sorry and then Chris spoke. But I don't know what do to Tim! What if I pushed her over the edge. What if?"
"Hey Ange listen... look if you wasn't honest with her you know she'd resent it...did she say anything else?"
"No. She didn't. She went silent. I could hear her breathing...Chris spoke and then he ended the call. I tried to call her back but she didn't answer"
Shit.
"What did he say?"
"He asked who I was and then said that he'd appreciate it if I didn't make her cry.."
Fuck.
What if she relapses.
Fuck.
I cant tell Angela that, she's already worked herself up thinking she's going to push Lucy over the edge.
If she knew she'd freak.
I need to remain calm. I need to sort this myself.
"Okay okay. Look let me call her and I'll speak to her yeah?"
"Tim I'm worried"
"I know you are. She's a tough cookie and I know she finds it hard to let people help her but we can't give up on her"
"Trust me I ain't giving up on that girl, shes like a sister"
"Okay let me call her yeah?"
"I need to know she's okay"
"I will let you know I promise, please Ange."
She nods and gets up walking out of my office.
My hearts racing. My foot starts tapping the floor as I grab my phone and dial her number. 
It rings.

Lucy's pov
I hear the beeps as the call ends, I don't even know what was said. All I keep doing is staring ahead, going over and over in my head that day with Ella. I fucked up.
I know I did.
I couldn't get out of my mind what Chris did to me the night before. I should have been able to focus on the job.
It's my fault.
Ella took her life and the young girl is struggling.
They were strong people, and they couldn't...
Breathe.
"Answer me!" I hear as I feel a slap across my face.
"Hm"  I mutter.
"Who the fuck is Ella?"
"A girl from a case I was on.."
"And you fucked it up? How?"

How can I tell him the reason I fucked it up was because I couldn't ignore what he had to done to me the night before, and that I was so focused on that, that I didn't even know what the girl had said. When Grey questioned me I had said the names Chris had called me, not the names Ella told us the man had said to her.

He slaps me across the face again, "answer me!"
I hear the phone ringing and he declines it.
"Lucy?!"
"I..wasn't focused.." I mutter, still looking forward.
"And why was that? When was this?"
"The day after our engagement.."
He chuckles. "so you enjoyed that night that much that it made you not focus at work?"
Breathe Lucy.
"I.."
"No it's okay. It's a good thing you enjoyed it so much"
Again the phone rings.
"Fuck sake!" He says as he answers the phone.
"Yes?" He says firmly.
"Chris?" Tim's voice echoes through the phone.
"What Tim?"

Tim's pov
"Excuse me, I am calling to check on Lucy after the call she just had. You know we have to have 30 minutes calls and you can't just end them"
"I think I can when your partner makes MY fiance cry" he snaps back at me, I can hear the frustration in his voice.
"I apologise that the information Lucy was told made her cry, I have been informed on the situation. I believe it's in Lucy's best interests that we can continue our welbeing check today, I will continue it."
I can hear Lucy in the background, her muffled crying. It just reminds me of that time in my office when I hugged her, she broke down when she was pregnant.
I hated hearing her like that.
He goes silent.
"Fine.." he says hesitantly. "You make her cry anymore and I will end the call and you will not speak to her tomorrow"
"Look, if the call doesn't happen tomorrow then we will be required to come to the property and perform the check in person. So I suggest the call does happen tomorrow and going forward. Next week we will be performing the checks.."
He suddenly cuts me off.
"Speak to her" he says. "go on Lucy speak to him" he says in a condescending tone.
"Hi" she says softly, almost breathless like Angela said she sounded.

Lucy's pov
I bite my lip in order to try and quieten my crying.
"Lucy, it's Tim. Are you okay?"
"Mhm"
"Look Angela has informed me what happened. I need you to understand that it wasn't your fault" he says softly but also firm.
"But..." I stutter.
"No Luce. It wasn't your fault okay. I know this wasn't the best time to tell you but she didn't want to lie to you. Angela says she is sorry"
"She doesn't need to be sorry it's me that does"
"Luce I'm not having you blaming yourself. It wasn't your fault. Ella spoke about you Lucy."
"She did?"
"Yes. She did. She said how you made her feel like she wasn't alone, that it almost felt like you understood her pain. So don't be blaming yourself okay?"
Little does he know I understood her pain more than he thought.
What if I reached out to her?
I could have stopped her.  Told her I understand.
I cant fight.
"Okay?" He says again.
"Yeah okay" I say softly, I sniffle.
I glance at the blood on my wrists, I wanted to tell him that I'd done it again. That I wanted to tell him I wanted to do it but I couldnt physically reach out. I wanted to ask if he did care.
"Do you need anything at all? Us to come see you? Any shopping?"
I go to open my mouth but Chris looks at me, shaking his head.
"Erm no I'm fine" I say softly.
"Okay, do you need to get anything off your chest before I let you go?"
"Erm no"
"Okay. Look after yourself. Make sure you're resting, eating and drinking. I will see you soon okay?"
"Okay"
The call ends.
Its like every time that call ends, the hope of being safe disappears more and more each time.

"It's a shame our fun makes you so distracted at work." He smirks as he leans forward and kisses me.  He takes his joggers off, then removing the duvet off me.
"Please" I stutter.
"Oh you want it huh, can I trust you to not have tape on?"
"Mhm" I mutter as he unties the rope around my legs and ties the ones around my wrist.
He situates himself as he lines his dick.
"You mess up and watch what happens to you and to Tim."
He slams his dick into me forcefully, remaining eye contact with me the whole time.
I bite my lip so hard that I feel the blood trickle down my chin trying to not scream.  I was still sore from this morning.
He smiles at me as I scrunch my face up from the pain as he slams in and out each time more forceful.
My eyes start watering.
"Tell me Lucy. Tell me you want me to stop" he groans.
"Ow.." I wince in pain as he slams in and releases his load.
He pulls out.
"You did good baby" he says as he kisses me on the cheek.
Breathe Lucy.
I feel the cum dripping out of me.
I hate this.
I try to catch my breath back.
He grabs some tissues off the sides and wipes my mouth gently, before kissing me gently on the lips. He gets up, ties my legs together and heads towards the bedroom door.
"I love you Lucy" he says as he walks out.
The door shuts.

All I can think about is how I've messed everything up.
This is all my fault.
Ella should be still here.
The girl from before needs someone.
They were strong.
I can't do this.
What did Tim mean about next week.
Why can't this all just stop.
I want help.
Maybe I am truly struggling mentally, laying in this bed constantly isn't that bad. I don't have the energy or motivation to even do anything.