What if

Chapter 53

Tim's pov
I drive to the hospital, the drive feels forever. I'm trying to not overthink it, I just hope I'm doing the right thing for her, I want the old Lucy back.
"Tim it'll be okay, we will get her back"
"Get her back?"
"You know exactly what I mean. That isn't Lucy, it's a shell of her and this miscarriage isn't going to help."
"You noticed it too?"
"Who hasn't noticed it Tim, maybe we were all stupid enough to believe she was just  stressed about the pregnancy, being a rookie, a new house etc."
"Yeah maybe we were"
"I just hope we can get her back"
"Me too, I hate to admit it but I hate the silent car rides, her little comments that she made"
"She's such a bubbly, feisty, loving person isn't she Tim"
I was waiting on her comment about how I have  apparent feelings for her but she didn't mention it. I knew that meant that she was deeply worried about her. I don't blame her.
"That she is... I mean was.."
"She's still in there Tim, we just have to find her again"
"What if for all arguments sake, he is  hurting her then what?"
"Then we cross that bridge when it comes to it. You know Grey would tell you that we can't worry about the what ifs."
"You're telling me you're not sat there thinking about them"
She rolls her eyes at me. "alright you got me there."
We pull up to the hospital, I park the car and Angela immediately pulls me in for a hug. "you've got this Tim. Just be there for her. Be that Tim she trusts."
"I will do Ange. I will" I say I get out of the car. I walk into the hospital looking around. Every step feels like it takes forever.

"Hi, can you tell me the room that Officer Lucy Chen is in?" I ask quietly as I look around to see if I can see Chris.
"Can I ask who you are?"
"Im Sergeant Bradford" I flash my badge.
"She's in room 27, I believe she will be discharged soon"
"Thank you, is it possible to go see her?"
"If it's work or an incident related then I would advice no, but if it's personal then yes. Saying that if at any point she wants you to leave or when you get there if her sats change we will have to ask you to leave immediately"
"It's personal, can I ask why?"
"She's not coping well and her sats are slightly elevated than when we called your detective earlier.  It's a possibility that we may have to sedate her"
"You'd have to keep her in if that's the case right?"
"I'm not at liberty to say"
I knew what she meant by that. She meant if they had to sedate her they'd potentially keep her in overnight.
"I understand, may I ask how she's not coping and if she's alone?"
"Look, i really shouldn't say but she's been blaming herself, she seems to think it's her fault and that her partner will hate her. But she also mentioned how she thinks that she feels as though she's failed"
Fuck.
I need to get in there.
I need to see her.
"Wow..ermm..okay..I'll talk to her"
"She a close friend?"
"I would say so yeah, but I'd like it if you could not tell anyone. Cant have anyone thinking I'm going soft now" I chuckle thinking back to the times when Lucy has called me a big softie.
"I understand. You can go ahead and see her"
"Thank you. Is she alone?"
"I believe so, i think her partner had just left. Not sure where he was going. Is it an issue?"
"No not at all"
"Sergeant"
"Yes"
"Look after her. She reminds me of myself when I was younger. I went through a miscarriage and my partner did the exact same thing."
"Exact same thing?" I look at her confused.
"Yeah left the hospital room when they took our baby."
"I am so sorry, I can't imagine how hard that would have been"
"It was hard but I had family around. I noticed she didn't have family listed as her emergency contacts so I just hope she has your support."
"She does, she has mine and everyone at the stations."
"I'm glad"
"Did you mean he left when they took the baby?"
"Yeah, immediately. He practically followed me"
"Wow okay. Thank you"
I turn to walk down the corridor.
Is he serious.
He's left her again.
What is wrong with him.
I grab my phone out of my pocket and text Angela.
Tim: off to see her now, they've said she isn't coping well. Blaming herself, thinking Chris hates her. Sats increased to when they spoke to you. Potentially sedation.
Angela: fuck. Please send her my love. They'll have to keep her in if they sedate right?
Tim: they couldn't say but the worst part about it is he has left her again. He practically followed the nurse with their baby. Leaving her in a panic.

Angelas pov
I read that last message and my heart sinks. How.
How can he do that.
He had already left her alone when she was in labor, told Wesley she was being paranoid.
I don't understand it.
I just want to hug her and keep her safe.
Tim isn't going to be able to remain calm. I hope for everyones sake Chris is not in that room. Mainly for the fact Lucy doesn't deserve this.
That girl is someone I look at it in awe. Everything she's been through, yet she still always goes the extra mile to make sure everyone else is happy. Shes feisty, keeps us all on our toes, sarcastic, the only person I know to stand up to Tim and his Tim Tests. Truthfully. The only one I've seen Tim care about so much.
Not only that but I think Grey thinks of her as a daughter.
She's like my sister.
Angela: I don't have words for this. Just get to her. Speak to her. And Timothy give her a hug for fuck sake!

Chriss pov
I walk out of the room, I know deep down there is no way Lucy is going to leave me right now. She's too weak.
Quite frankly I can't be bothered to deal with her like she is. Id be there for her if i knew this was my baby.
I'll admit seeing the baby..hurt. The fact the baby was so small..so weak.
I head to the cafeteria to have some food before heading back to her.
I sit down with a sandwich and start eating.
Maybe they'll have sedated her before I get back.
Shit.
No.
They can't sedate her as they'll have to keep her in. She needs to go home.
I quickly eat my sandwich and get up to head back to Lucy.

Tims pov
I read Angela's last message before putting my phone back into my pocket.
I take a deep breathe in.
I have to be strong for her, I need to be there for her.