What if

Chapter 9

Lucy's pov
I walk and he gets up of the sofa immediately, I put my keys and my bag down.
He kind of just looks me up and down.
"Hey future wife" he says.
"Hey baby" I say smiling as he walks towards me.
"Least everyone knows now right? They know how you're with me for the rest of you life." He says with this tone, this cocky tone.
"They knew about you" i say to him nervously in anticipation of where tonight is going to go because i don't trust this one bit.
I just want to turn around and run back out of the door. But where would I go?
To Tim's? Oh yeah because his rookie that no longer even talks to him in the shop turns up at his house. He asks why? Oh you know because Chris is abusive and I got home, recognising his tone of voice knowing that something is going to happen.
Then I'll get asked all these questions.
No I can't go to his.
It would only make Chris worse.
To Angela's? Again same thing but me and her was friends till well recently. I can't put her son in danger all because I can't handle myself.
My parents? I'm already a disappointment to them, they won't even speak to me since our last conversation where Chris made out he was trying to get me to talk to them. To fix things between me and my parents.
"But now it's permanent. You aren't going anywhere" he says as he grabs a hold of my neck pinning me to the wall. "Plus Tim will know to keep his hands off you"
I swallow hard, anxiously waiting and anticipating that slap or that punch.
But nothing.
"Now it's our engagement night and I was thinking we can try for a baby, get married in a year gives you time to loose that baby fat plus the fat you've already got on your disgusting body" he says spitting at me i the face, tightening that grip around my neck. He takes his other hand sliding it under my top and grabbing a hold of my breast.
"You wanted your promotion and I need to not wash out.. we can have a baby together soon i promise" i mutter out.
Truthfully I can't have a baby with him.. bringing a baby into this isn't.. right.. I want a baby more than anything but not right now. Not with him. Not like this.
"I wasn't asking you!" He growls. "You don't get to ruin our engagement night all because you've already opened your legs tonight" he says squeezing my breast.
I pull a face as my breast hurt.
"I haven't.." i mutter out.
"Sure you haven't..I saw you walk with Tim after I left" he says angrily.
"Yes to go to the car to get on the road. I haven't done anything.." I say back panicking.
"Yeah he would have done all the work because you're too lazy and fat to do anything!" He says he drags me into the bedroom, slamming the door shut. He throws me into the bed, I try and push him off me as he throws himself on me.
He grabs me by the neck tight.
"Stop fucking resisting! You know you want this!" He says as he uses his other hand to lift my top off, unclasping my bra throwing them off to the side of the bed.
I can't breathe. I should have ran.
He puts his weight on my legs so I get up as he moves his head down kissing all down my neck, my chest, my breasts, licking around my nipples, then moving down my stomach.
I breathe in, these short little panicking breaths as he moves down my body. I just want someone to wake me up. I want it to be a nightmare.
I know this is my last chance to get away so I move my arms, placing my hands firmly on the top of his head, I push him back as hard as I can.
"Stop!" I shout at him.
This was a mistake. The anger in his face. Id never seen him this angry.
"Oh I know you did not just do that!" He shouts, spitting at me, he grabs ahold of my hands pulling them together, he throws me over on to back. He grabs the top I had on, tightly tying my hands together behind my back.
"You want to play this the hard way huh?" He says angrily he pulls down my trousers and my underwear.
This is it.
"P..pleaseee" I beg.
He ignores my plea.
He takes down his pants and his boxers, I feel his erect dick edging closer to my vagina as he lifts me up by my hair.
I'm on my knees with him behind me, my top half of my body being held up by his grip of my hair but also grasping hold of my tied up hands.
Just so he has that extra level of control.
He slides one hand down to my inner thigh, as he slides his finger in me, moving them rough and quick inside.
"Stop.." I say as I moan, feeling his grip of my hair getting tighter.
"Stop you say?" He says he moves his fingers out of me, for a second i sigh in relief but I know deep down he isn't just going to stop.
Why would he?
I then feel the wind being taken out of me as he slams his dick all the way into me.
"Owww.." I moan.
"Shut it!" He says he keeps slamming his dick and out of me. You can hear our skins colliding as he slams his dick.
The slapping of our skins colliding, his heavy breathing, my heart that I'm pretty sure I can hear in my head.
I wince every time he slams himself back into me but this just seems to turn him on more.
"Please" I say in between moaning.
"Shut it! You know you want this baby" he says as he pulls his my head further back, taking his other hand placing it against my mouth. I feel his fingers gripping into my skin.
"You know you want to be pregnant with my child"
He says growling. He goes faster and harder into me.
"You're going to carry my child got it?" He says as tightens his grip.
I don't even fight back anymore, I can't. It's like I'm frozen in this constant nightmare.
I feel every single thrust he does, every inch of my skin that he touches, each strand of hair that he pulls, each finger that he has pressed into my face, each tear that rolls down my face.
Maybe I'm not cut out to be an officer if i can't deal with this or stop him.
After what feels like eternity, I feel his dick throbbing inside me, as much as I don't want him to release his load into me, it can finally be over.
I feel him grip tighter, he slams into me hard, keep his dick in me as he releases his cum.
"Fuck" he growls.
He doesn't pull out straight away, i just want this to stop.
He pulls out, let's go of my hair and my arms. I just fall forward onto the bed. I darent and can't move. I feel his cum leaking out of me, down my thighs.
I know he is still behind me watching me, I can feel it, I don't even need to look.
Suddenly he yanks me up, I feel my heart drop.
"That wasn't so bad was it?" He says smirking as he sits in front of me.
I don't reply. I can't. My mouth and my throat is dry. It's like I'm on lockdown.
"Clean me up like a good girl" he says he takes a hold of my head putting my mouth in front of his still erect dick, with cum all down the sides.
I just open my mouth, taking him in. Each inch, I lick him clean. He then pulls my head back up, with force.
"Now we are on a time frame as we don't want you looking fat for my wedding day so get on top and do some work" he says.
I'm still frozen.
"Bitch get on top now" he says spitting in my face. "I need to make sure you get pregnant"
I just nod, I lift my leg over his slowly lining myself up just over his dick.
I don't even get chance to move he grabs a hold of arse firmly and drags me down so that my arse and thighs are touching his thighs. His dick is all the way in.
"Fuckkk" i mutter.
He then uses his hands dragging my body up and down to make me ride him, as he kisses my neck at the same. Every now and then he lifts his lips from my neck and tells me how much he can't wait to have this hold of me my whole life.
He lets go as my body sits on his, his erect dick situated fully inside me.
"Stop being a lazy bitch and do some work now" he says as she slaps me across the face as hard as he can.
He takes his hands holding them around my neck.
I start riding him, i close my eyes because I cant look at him while he does this...While I do this..
"Faster" he growls as I feel his dick throbbing inside me.
I ride him faster, half wincing and moaning as I do.
"Look at me!" He says he squeezes my neck tighter, I open my eyes and look at him.
Removing his hands from around my neck he places them around my arse and places a firm hold onto my body so that I can't ride up.
I feel his cum being released inside me, dripping out of me.
I pant, he just stares at me for a second but it feels like an eternity.
He then throws me off him and onto the bed, he removes the top from around my wrists. I let my arms relax, I just lay there.
"I love you" he says as he kisses me on the lips and then he places one hand on my lower stomach and kisses it.
"I love you too" i mutter.
He then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
And in that moment I feel my whole body collapse, it's like I'm out of that freeze. Everything that's just happened flashes in front of me.
I look down and see the marks he has left and I just roll over. Tears soak the pillow as I fall asleep.

I wake up to Chris walking in the bedroom a cup of coffee, he hands me it.
"Morning babe" he says.
"Morning thank you" i say as I sit up taking it from him.
"I can't wait for our future babe" he says kissing me on the cheek.
"Me too" I smile at him.
"Now remember you don't say anything about last night, about anything that I do to you. You tell anyone and I'll tell your work about the cutting, and you'll be washed out quicker than you can say it. Okay?" He says firmly looking at me.
"I know" I say as I smile and get up, i get dressed and then cover up the old and now the new marks all over my face, neck, arms, and hands.
Part me of hates that he knows about the self harm. It started after Caleb, he's the only one knows about it, and that's only because he came home early one day. It's been his leverage ever since.
He knows how it all works especially being in the DA's office. It's too much work for a rookie to he struggling mentally, they'd find an alternative reason as to why they washed me out.
Of course they would say never say the real reason.
I walk towards the door and i turn around looking at him.
"I love you" I say as I leave.
I walk down the drive way and into my car. I start driving to work and all I can think about is last night, I don't get why I couldn't handle myself , why i couldn't stop him.
I feel weak and disgusting, I pull into the car park and just sit there.
I know I need to be going in and getting sorted in the lockers but the longer I leave it the last chance I have of seeing Angela and Nyla.
Shit. Tim. I'm riding with him.