What if

Chapter 68

Tims pov
"I'll let you get off Lucy unless you have anything you need to get off your chest" I say anxiously waiting for her response.
Its silent again.
Almost like you could hear a pin drop.
Angela looks at me and so does Grey.
Part of me regrets asking because what if she talks about her self harm, thinking it's just me.
Maybe I should have asked her about that privately.
I'm relieved to hear from her, I know that Chris was hesitant about us speaking to her as he felt like she wasn't ready for it, and truthfully I can hear it in her voice.
This sense of holding back.
I dont know what she's holding back on but she's holding back.
Tim she's had a miscarriage, she has a lot going on. Maybe she isn't ready to accept the miscarriage yet.
Just see how this week goes, then she can come back to work and I can talk to her.
"Lucy?" I say softly.

Lucy's pov
Get something off my chest?
I wouldn't even know where to start.
My heart feels like it's breaking into a million and one pieces every time I breathe, shattering.
I'm in so much pain, agonising pain.
I'm living my nightmare day in and day out.
I feel weak, a burden.
I want it to stop.
I want it all to stop.
I want to be alone, feel safe alone.
But I also want a hug.
I just need to feel safe.
Jayden deserved better.
Chris tighens his grip on my hips once again, but then I feel something digging into the side of my head. I cautiously glance to my side and notice Chris had my off duty gun placed to my head.
Fuck.
Why haven't they took that off me.
If they thought I was off for mental health reasons they should have took it.
"No" I stutter.
"Lucy are you okay?" He asks hesitantly.
"I'm fine"
29:32 on the call.
"Okay. You know I'm here Luce"
Luce...
Why is he saying that.
"Mhm yeah okay" I say as I sigh.
"I'll let you go okay?"
"Okay"
The call ends.
The beeps echoes through me.
I don't even know what to do or to think anymore.
I just wanna curl up.
Chris grabs the phone placing it on the side.
"You did good" he smirks placing the gun back onto the table. "I am sorry that they didn't care like they said, you don't deserve that. They think that little of you that not only did they not come see you but they left you with your gun. I bet they hope you do sometbing...less paperwork then dealing with you.. horrible really. But it's okay because I love you" he says we he ties my wrists back together.

"I think we should have some things in place to help you mentally" he says as he grips hold of my face to look at him." But first the most important thing is we make sure you become pregnant. I want to make sure we have my family. You are carrying my baby, you staying at home with my child. We can get married and you'll be happy. I just need to get you there. So let's go" he says firmly as he places the tape over my mouth.
Shaking my head no.
Breathe Lucy.
I feel my body shaking.
I'm scared.
I can't do it again.
I'm still in pain. 
From losing Jayden and from yesterday.
"BEHAVE!" He snaps and I just relax.
I can't fight this.
He picks me up, carrying me to the bedroom throwing me onto the bed. He yanks the joggers off my body.
He slides his shorts off revealing his dick as he  pulls my legs apart, situating himself in between my legs, pulling my body down towards him.
I wait.
Wait.
He just stares at me.
My hearts racing.
I want him to get it over with.

Finally.
He slams his dick into me, I try to scream.
Fuckkkk.
Ow.
That same pain I get when he slams into me was somehow worse than what it was in the past but now it was worse than yesterday.
I can't do this.
My face tenses up, tears rolling down my face as my eyes water.
He just stays there, he doesn't move. I feel his dick in me, every inch of his skin touching mine. The smirk on his face. The look in his eyes. His hands firmly placed on my hips.
"God Lucy, you look amazing when I'm inside you"
He starts slamming himself into me, harder and faster with each stroke.
Owww.
Fuck.
I can't breathe.
It hurts.
My face all scrunched up from the pain, my face, my thighs all feel like they're on fire.
"Fuck" he groans. "you feel good baby"
"I can't wait for you to carry my baby"
He groans them all repeatedly for what feels like eternity.
Feel every time he slams back in, every inch of his dick inside me, every inch of our skins colliding, his tight grip on my hips, his breath on my body.
The sound of our skins colliding, his breathing, his groans, my breathing, my heart beat in my ears.
I feel his dick throbbing, he's close.
He has this smirk on his face, as he pulls all the way out. He looks at me, watching my face as he slams back inside as hard as he can releasing inside me.
Owwwwww.
He keeps his dick inside me and leans forward kissing me on the neck.  Collapsing his body on top of me. "how good does that feel huh?".
Breathe.
He pulls out, he looks down and then back up at me.
It's almost like he has this proud look in his eyes, watchinh his cum drop out of me.
It's like I'm frozen.
Like I'm out of my body. 

He slams his dick back inside me.
Fuckkkk.
He starts thrusting inside me again.
"You're mine"
"Fuck Lucy"
He goes on and on, around 4 rounds later he finally pulls out. He stands up watching me, watching all the cum dripping out of me. I feel it dripping down out of me and down my thighs.
I'm exhausted.
I know I should be trying to escape but I can't. It's too much.
Everything hurts.
I'm tired.
I can't do it again.
He kisses me on the lips and then lays down next to me.
"I can't wait for my family Lucy, I will get you better" he says as he smirks.