What if

Chapter 52

Tim's pov
I know what I have to do. I don't know how I'm going to do it but I have to.
Something's telling me I need to do this. I also out of the office, Angela follows behind me.
"Tim?"
"Yeah?"
"Trust your gut"
"I will do"
I carry on walking towards my car.
I take a deep breath in and out as I get into the car, I gesture to her to come and get in the car. She gets in.
"What is it?" She asks.

Lucy's pov
"Lucy you need to take deep breaths. In and out"
"I...can't..."
I wanna go back. I don't wanna do this, I want my baby back. Chris is gonna hate me...he hates me. I failed everyone. I failed my baby.
The machines keep beeping. I feel empty, I'm cold. My arms are still laid as if i was holding Jayden. I want him back.
Why did Chris leave me? He hates me. Everyone's going to hate me.
I'm tired.
"Let's sit you up" he says as he moves the bed upright. "follow my breathing. In.........out.....in....out....."
I follow his breathing, every time I breathe in I smell Tim's cologne.
"Okay, that's it keep breathing like that. I'm going to give you an injection to calm you down a little okay?"
"I..wanna..sleep.."
"You can sleep soon, we need to get your heart rate down first. We need you stay awake for a bit" he says as he gives me an injection.
"Let's keep breathing in and out slowly"

Tim's pov
"It's just..."
"Just what?"
"I can't help feeling like we failed her..."
"Go on"
"I mean if he has been hurting her..how didn't we see it? How havent we stopped it? Why doesn't she trust us to tell us?"
"Tim you know she's a tough cookie, she's strong minded, has a heart of gold. If he has been hurting her then..he really has worn her down. Especially after Caleb. She trusts you Tim, I think she trusts you more than you realise."
"If I find out he's laid a finger on her, it won't be just him getting arrested."
"you have to keep calm. If he is hurting her then you being in prison won't help her will it? Don't give him that satisfaction and think of Lucy"
I know she's right, me being in prison would mean that I can't be there for her. She needs as many people around her as possible. I can't imagine how she is feeling. What if I say the wrong thing to her.
"What if it's not that..."
"What do you mean Tim?"
"What if what she wanted to tell me, wasn't about Chris. What if it's.."
"Go on"
"I cant.  I can't say"
"Tim. If it's putting her in danger then you need to tell someone. For you to be this secretive about it then I know it's serious. What is it?"
"She trusts me right, I can't betray that trust to her"
"You wouldn't be betraying her trust. You'd be helping her. If it's either Chris hurting her or what you know, then it's serious isn't it"
"Angela. Please. Look, let me go talk to her see what's going on."
"Fine Tim. But I'm going to stay in the car. Should I be worried?"
"About what? Me going in there?"
"Yes that but also whatever this is that she's told you in the past that you're aware of."
"I'll stay calm okay, I know I have to. It's what's best for her."
"Tim look at me."
I turn and look at her. I can see that she's worried. I don't know what to say to her, she's a detective. She'd figure it out but I know i can get through to Lucy.
She told me about it, she was sat next me trying not to. I stopped her or maybe I didn't. But I'm sure that's what she was going to tell me.
I just don't know why she didn't tell me before she did it.
I don't even know how she would have done it.
"Should I be worried?"
"I've got it Ange. If I need you to know I'll tell you but just give me time"
"Okay. I trust your judgement. Let's go see her before she goes home. Do you know what to do about Chris as you know he will be with her?"
"I don't"

Lucy's pov
"Where is he?" I mutter.
"Chris?"
"Mhm"
"I'm not sure, I think he went with the nurse. Do you want me to get him for you?"
"It's okay..do you think he hates me?"
"No he won't hate you. This wasn't your fault."
"It was. It was all my fault" I say softly.
"Explain how you think this was your fault because I can assure you that it isn't your fault. No one is going to hate you."
"He should be growing inside me, he should have been safe"
I feel my heart racing again.
"It's all my fault."
"I'm a bad mum"
I feel sick. I'm tired. I want to go to bed. I want to go to sleep. I don't wanna be here alone in the hospital but I also don't want to leave Jayden here.
"Lucy deep breaths... I don't want to have to sedate you. Come on. You can go home soon, and then you can rest. I'm sure everyone fro your work will be happy to see you"
"My work?" I look at him confused.
"Yeah, the nurse told me detective Lopez came to check on you."
"Just her? She didn't stay?" I say almost like it was hurting me that she didn't come see me, that it was just her.
I knew I shouldn't have let Tim see me so vulnerable, he's never going to look at me the same.
What if Chris scared him off..
Maybe Chris was right and that Tim didn't care about me ..
I want to take this hoodie off. But I can't because of my arm.
"She wasn't allowed to stay Lucy. You'd only just had Jayden. She asked for updates on you. I'm sure I can ask them to tell her you want to see her. She sent her love to you"
"No. It's fine"
The door opens, I look at the door.