What if

Chapter 66

Lucy's pov
"Good morning sleepy head" Chris whispers in my ears and my eyes jump open. "Did you sleep okay?"
I just nod, everything's so bright, hazy.
My throat feels dry.
My legs hurt.
My inner thighs are sore, my vagina is in pain.
The dried cum in between my legs. The dried blood on my hips.
"Shall we get you in the bath?" He says smiling at me. "I can trust you'll be behave right?"
I just nod.
I'm too exhausted.
I don't have it in me to fight.
Just wait till they come perform the welfare check Lucy and you can get out.
You can hold on.
Do it for Jayden.
Don't be a disappointment.
Sure they'll hate you for a while but you have to get out.
I need my strength back.
He takes the duvet off, untying the rope around my ribs. I breathe out and in deeply, making the most of being able to move.
I just lay still.
"Good girl" he says he picks me up, my hands and legs still tied together.

He carries me to the bathroom and places me in the bath.  The warm water, the bubbles swarmed around me made me feel some sort of sense of safety.
"I'm doing this to help you. You was struggling mentally before the loss of our little boy, I can't loose you too. You have to understand that right?" He says as he takes the jug pouring the water over my hair. I feel every droplet touch my face.
Unable to speak from the tape being over my mouth I just nod.
He takes the shampoo running it through my hair. I just keep going over and over what he said.
Maybe he is right.
I feel a tear roll down my face.
Why haven't they turned up yet?
"I want to help you Lucy"
They have to turn up.
I need them.
"You just need some help mentally Lucy. None of this is to hurt you"
I just keep staring straight ahead.
"Its a shame that the station have given up on you so easy. I bet you thought they cared about you didn't you?"
He has to be lying.
They have to come see me.
Tim cares, deep down.
I'm sure they all do.
I feel my heart racing.
"Let's get you out" he says he picks me up and starts to dry me off with the towel.
I don't even recall him washing me or shampooing my hair. It's like I wasn't really there. 
I feel as he scrubs over every cut, every bruise on my skin.

"Can I get you dressed?"
I just nod.
I hadn't even realised that I was cold. All I could think about was what I did so wrong. Am I in a bad place and he's doing this because he cares?
Is Tim or the station coming?
How do I get out of this?
Do I need to get out of this?
Why did Jayden leave me?
Im a bad mum.
I just want to sleep.
Do I have it in myself to fight this?
Why should I fight this?
I don't want to be weak.
"You going to behave?"
Again I just nod.
He undos the cable tie and rope from around my legs, sliding a pair of joggers on.
He's getting me dressed.
They have to be coming.
He then attaches and ties the rope and cable tie around my legs.
"You know Lucy, I think we can do this. Me, you and our future baby" he says he places his hand on my stomach, smiling at me.
I can't.
I can't get pregnant again.
I can't go through that.
Loosing my baby, I can't do that again.
Even if I don't loose my baby, I can't.
I cant have a baby with him.
I don't know if I ever can do it again.
He unties the rope and cable tie around my wrists, he puts on a hoodie, then quickly ties them again. He sits me in front of him, his legs around either side of me. He starts brushing my hair.
All I can smell is Tim's cologne. It's like an overwhelming sense of comfort, he has to come. I need him.
Chris ties my wrists back together and the starts brushing my hair.
"Look, I'm going to take this tape off now, I can trust you won't do anything silly right?" He says firmly.
I nod and he rips the tape off my mouth.
"Lucy?"
"Mhm"
"I love you"
"I love you too" I almost stutter.
Breathe.

"Let's get you in the room" he says he picks me up carrying me to the sofa. He places me down, so im sat up on the sofa. I just stare endlessly.
Anxiously waiting for that knock on the door. It's silent.
I have never wanted the door to open so much. Chris sits down next to me, wrapping his arm around me forcing me to lay on his chest. He starts to stroke my hair.
We just stay like this for what feels like eternity, the longer he doesn't say a word the more I feel my heart racing. I take a deep breath in and out.
Then I hear the phone ring.
Chris leans forward grabbing the phone. He looks at me and nods. He unties the rope around my wrists. Quickly grabbing hold of one hand and passing me the phone in the other as he answers the phone call.