Hyunlix oneshots

Oh, to Be loved.

A/n : So before we get into this I want to say that this story is inspired by my own diary entry that I made a few days ago.
So yepp, here we go.

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Third Person's POV :

Lee Felix, a sunshine for short came from a middle class family with loving and supportive parents. But as he grew up he knew he was loved but he couldn't share his feelings. He lost many friends by his teenage years. In his school life he felt left out too and was so insecure about his body as well as his actions. Whenever he talks a lot and a bit loud he feels guilt tripping over him. That's the kind of boy he slowly grew into even though the parents are very loving and supportive.

Now he is 25 years old and has a loving husband named Hwang Hyunjin whom he loves dearly.

Hyunjin propsed to him a month ago and who was Felix to say no. He indeed said yes and lived a very happy married life.

Now they are currently unpacking their stuffs because they bought a beautiful home for themselves that they have been saving money for.

Felix's POV :
I was unpacking some of the boxes and I opened a box which is so so dear to me. The box has my memories and most importantly my old diaries when I was a teenage boy.

I felt a warm pair of hands come and wrap it around my waist and it was definitely my most loving husband, Jinnie.

"What are you seeing love?" Hyunjin asked while giving me feather kisses to my neck.

I turned around and took the box in one hand and grabbed Jin's hand in other and took us to the bed.

I wanted Hyunjin to know about me since I didn't share much of my teenage years and I don't mind if he is the one reading my teenage diaries.

"You know Hyunjin, when I was young around 15 to 16 years old my craving for love was a lot. It was an overwhelming desire. I wanted to be loved, I wanted to be chosen but I wasn't even a option sometimes. My parents loved me but you know I really wanted someone to love me, to learn to love me. Because my parents love me because I'm their son the thought of being loved by someone to whom I was nobody. You get me right. Like at first I was nothing to you, just a fellow human being but our love started growing and I became something to you. And now you're my everything. But I always used to crave for love. I really wanted a best friend, someone who loves me and someone who understands me."

I started tearing up because it was a time in my life when I really needed to let out my feelings, I wanted to be hugged, to be understood.

Hyunjin wrapped his hands around my waist and pulled me into his lap. I nuzzled into his neck and he was comforting me.
"Lixie, you're the best, I might now know much about your teenagw years but trust me when I say you're the best. You're beautiful. Your freckles, your nose, your eyes, your ears, your cute chubby cheeks, your tummy, your tiny paws, your legs, everything. Everything about you is amazing. You're so loved my dear. And yes you aren't option because you know why, because you're a priority ane darling priorities can't be an option. I love you in this life and I will learn to love in all the lifes that we are granted."

Hyunjin made me so emotional. I never thought I could be loved like this. "Thank you Jinnie. I love you."

"I love you too bub."
"Baby lix, can I read it?" Hyunjin asked me making me kind of shocked and I looked into his eyes.
"It's okay if you don't want me to read it I asked because I want to know you, I want to know how you were and let me love you more." Hyunjin said it to me and I was on the verge of breaking again because I never thought that someone would want to know me and learn about me.

"Y-yes Jinnie, you can." I gave him a diary with an entry which dated back to the time when I was 15 years old.

I came out of his lap and sat next to him snuggling into his chest while he was reading it.
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Third Person's POV :

Felix smuggled into his husband's chest. Hyunjin continued to read it when finaly he reached to an entry titled as

: Oh, to be loved
I just want to feel love, I want to be chosen. I want to feel loved. I want someone to understand me. I want a best friend too. I really want someone to rely on, it's getting hard, getting hard to breathe. It's suffocating to bottle up my feelings and I can't even cry. I'm tired of pretending that I'm alright. I'm not. I am not fine. I want to love, feel loved. I want someone to choose me. I want someone to love me and treat me right. Is it wrong? I lost so many friends and at last there are none. Am I just a person that they call when they need me? Am I just a person whom they call when they are bored? Am I not deserving a little love too. Is it too much to ask? I hate everything about myself because I was never allowed to love myself. My fucking weight. My face. It is an absolute hell. Can't I be free too? It's so hard. It's getting harder. It's hard to stand up on my feet when I got no one by my side. It's hard to get up when I fall. I want to rest. I want peace. Is it so wrong to ask for nothing but a best friend. Whenever I see besties doing things that besties do I feel..... Jealous? No, I feel sad. I feel happy for them but sad for myself.

I want someone to share my feelings with, someone to love, someone to heal. I want to heal too, I want to be loved too.
I don't want to be the writer anymore, I want to be the story too.

I just want to feel it.
At least once I want to feel that I'm special, I matter, my existence matters.

Oh how it must be to be chosen?

Oh, how it must feel to be loved?

Please someone love me.

Hyunjin read it and felt heavy that the sunshine next to him wanted nothing but to feel loved.
He didn't know that Felix was once in a condition where he hated himself.

"Baby, listen to me, you are fucking perfect. You, you are gorgeous. Okay? Inside and out you're beautiful. You're always so beautiful. You don't have to do anything." Hyunjin said while pulling the younger closer into his chest.

"Yes jinnie, I love you. Loving you made me love myself. It's you. It's you whom I love, you are my safe place.... You are my home.

"I love you baby, I love you so much." Hyunjin said while kissing his forehead.

"You're perfect" *Kiss* "you're gorgeous" *Kiss*  "you're beautiful" *kiss* "you are my angel" *kiss* "you're my sunshine" *kiss*  "you are mine"
And the two lips met for a loving kiss.

Felix finally knew what it feels like to be the one, to be chosen. To be loved by someone with whom he crossed paths with. To be loved by someone who choosed to be by your side.

It wasn't an question anymore.
It wasn't "oh, how it must feel to be loved?"

It was : "oh, to be loved."

______The End______

So umm sorry for this one. Honestly it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to be. I was writing my diary yesterday about this topic and suddenly I thought let's make into a small one shot. And yeah that was it.
So whatever Felix's diary said here is actually bits and pieces from my diary. I haven't found my Hyunjin yet even a best friend but yeah. Just hoping to find my Hyunjin and a bestie soon.

I love you all ❤✨