Incinerate Me

29| Lana

The moving took days because my depression and trauma made it hell. I couldn't concentrate without feeling the rush of fear each time I heard a voice that sounded like his.

My mental health would have deteriorated if not for Ferrell. He made sure I never missed an appointment with my therapist.

Not one. My mother has been trying to call me. I've spoke to my father a couple of times and I always ended up sobbing silently behind the phone without his knowledge. He had his bandages removed and it was such an amazing moment for me. I barely gave my mom a glance that day.

" Do you think this vase should stay here?" I was brought back to reality. Ferrell was holding the new vase he got for me this morning. I was starting to worry about his work schedule because he had been coming over often for someone who's always needed at the hospital. He didn't need to put his life on hold for me. It wasn't his fault. He had nothing to do with what happened to me.

" I was thinking of the kitchen counter," he added, clearly confused.

I shrugged, " I think it's alright there. Don't you have work today?"

" Ur, no, "

I gave him the tell me the truth look.

" I'm on leave,"

" Ferrell," I trailed off.

" No, it's not only because of you. It's just that I wanted to quit a long time back and I need this break to see things through."

My eye widened from surprise, " But I thought you loved being a doctor."

" Yes I did. It just doesn't give me that fulfillment anymore, it's like I don't wanna be in that field anymore."

" You're such a cute doctor " I pinched his cheeks, playfully.

He seemed taken aback by the little gesture.

" Did you just,"

" Oh you're in for one hell of a ride Lana." He countered by tickling me. I hadn't laughed in so long, it hurt.

There was a knock on the door
Ferrell had left like an hour ago to take a call. I was making dinner for the two of us. I just felt like it and I wanted to have a little fun with the kitchen.

I settled for an Italian dish. I was still looking up the recipe when the doorbell rang. I sighed shaking my head. The number of times, I had told Ferrell not to ring the doorbell or knock was starting to piss me off.

I patted my hand dry over the apron. I stumbled into the living area and then pulled the door open in a rush.

" Fe-"

I stopped breathing.

I had no control over it. It was my mind, and my body working differently, they weren't coordinating.

" Lana, " he said my name with a thick ,voice.

I took several steps away from him.

" Leave." I shakily pointed to the door.

I remembered that night. I remembered everything as clear as daylight. My own screams were taunting, harshly piercing my ears.

He stepped closer. My sanity took several steps into the bottomless pit.

I couldn't stop trebling.

He tried to touch me, " STOP!, GET AWAY FROM ME, LEAVE MY HOUSE. GET- GET- GET AWAY!!!" I wailed.

He took steps away from me.

I covered my ears and shut my eyes. I was so afraid of him. His presence was like poison, so deadly.

I felt hands on my shoulder. I grabbed the hands and ripped them away.

" Don't touch me!"

" Lana, oh God," my eyes snapped open. I looked behind him and around but he was gone.

" Ferrell he was here, Roxine.was standing right in from me.," I stuttered...

" He-he," he hugged my trembling body.

" Ferrell, I -,"

" Shhh,shhhh, I'm here now. I'm sorry I left."

I was lost in my world again, loosing sense of my reality.