Incinerate Me

27| Roxine

What had I done?.

My eyes traced the lines of blood. The messed up bed. I blinked rapidly. I couldn't remember anything. I remembered drinking......

I stumbled into the elevator and I...I couldn't remember anything else. Nothing. My head was blank, not a memory. It was already morning, I rubbed my temples and tried so hard to remember what happened.

I stumbled out of bed, the torn clothes, they belonged to Lana. It hurt to even say her name. I was broken hearted even if I didn't want to admit it.

I splashed water on my face, and gazed at myself in the mirror. My eyes narrowed in on the scratch marks on my chest, my arms.

I began to panic. What happened last night?. Did I..

No I couldn't kill Lana, I wasn't even capable of such a thing. I have extreme anger issues, true but not to that degree of murdering her or Ferrell as a matter of fact.

" Roxine!" I jumped in my skin.

I rushed out of the bedroom and then went down the stairs.

The commotion was none other than Ferrell and Lachlan. Lachlan was trying to calm him down, hold him down.

I was caught off guard, Ferrell punched me so hard I swear I almost lost a tooth.

" The hell!" I yelled back in shock.

" You're an animal!"he pointed a finger at me.

I frowned, the anger from their betrayal returned full force.

" How dare you come to my house to insult and hit me. You don't have that fucking right !"

I launched towards him, Lachlan stepped in between us. How come a friendship of so many years could turn out this way.

" Guys !"

" You're a liar, a betrayer , I regret the day I met you, Ferrell" I hissed, tears stinging my eyes.

" I regret not fighting enough for Lana, I regret making her leave earlier, I never thought you'd stoop so low, Roxine. "

" You despicable human being!"

I laughed humorlessly, " It surprises me who's speaking of common decency. After sleeping with my fucking girlfriend!"

" Oh." Lachlan said out loud.

" You're fighting over Lana?" He asked. It was obvious not like it came as a surprise to him. We knew eachother that much.

" I never touched her, I'm not a rapist."

His last words punched me in the guts. The memories flooded my mind. Her pleas for me to stop. She was begging me. But...but...but I never did...

" You fucking raped Lana and you're here trying to pin all of this on me?, She begged you, Roxine. She trusted you. How could do such a monstrous thing to that innocent girl!"

I stepped back....

My breathing changed. My stomach turned horribly at the memories. What had I become?. She trusted me. She had entrusted her whole life to me.

" I-I saw those pictures, of you two at your place, and then-t-then I drank," I couldn't form my sentences.

Ferrell looked shocked, confused.

" What pictures?,"

I pointed to the box in the couch. I remembered bringing it home...

He took the box and together with Lachlan they studied them.

" Lana came to my place because she caught her mother having an affair with another man. She called because she didn't want to burden you with her problems. That was it."

Now I felt even more sick.

" You believed these over the two of us?, How pathetic."

He threw the pictures at me and walked out.

" W-what have I done?"

I rushed to the nearest bathroom and hunched over the toilet, throwing everything up.

I'm a monster.