Neon Lights

TWENTY EIGHT

The House never forgets.

I knew these halls, knew the sound of my heels clinking against cemented floor, knew every step to the Living room, knew how many seconds it would take me to get there. The House was mine, I was It's, six years later I walked back a prodigal child and it rewarded me the familiarity of echoes.

A month, it'd been a month since I'd landed back, I'd spent every second plotting for this one, I'd spent every waking morning counting the days in my calendar. The Family Gathering was today - I prayed I'd gotten that right, and my thighs were sore and the eyebags under my eyes carefully concealed behind heavy make up- smoky black eye get up, purple lipstick, purple wig, bandana top that covered nothing but my chest under a black leather jacket, plaid tennis skirt and thigh high sock boots- I looked like the typical edgy college girl that I needed to look like.

It'd been so long since I sent my prayers to heaven, but if there was a God he owed me enough that one right thing would've been in place for me. Let this night go as planned. Let this be the end.

They remembered me, I watched their gazes follow me through the halls, the Family- six years and so much had chsnged- the kids, kids that I was born and grew with- were all grown now. I remembered them and they remembered me, eyes a heavy escort on my back amid whispers, aire so tense I could slice through it.

They sat at the table, this was the arrangement- the elders sat at the table and the rest of us crowded around them, this was a Fanily meeting, Family matters were discussed in order of hierarchy.

It all seemed so stupid now- the structure I'd grown up viewing as the truth and nothing but the truth- as necessity to live. They sat at the head, the five of them, the Elders of the family- grandiose and shiny clothes, status and reverence so obvious in the very form of them. They saw me the second I stepped in,heels against tiled floor announcement enough. The room went silent, breaths held, eyes between the Elders and the prodigal.

We looked eyes, Kerman and I, he showed no reaction to my presence but I did not miss the subtle widening of his eyes- the very tiny uncomfortably shift in all of them. They all glanced at him- he sat at The Chair, in this meeting he was The Head- it came as no surprise. The air, thick with anticipation, choked me on my way to the Table, fighting against myself to keep my composure, fighting to keep my fave void. This was a dangerous dance, it always was with the family, even when Allen Lorenzo sat on the Chair.

I presented my Kard to Krista, she examined it and nod, I could proceed to the Table. The tension got thicker, so thick I could feel it press against my skin, so thick I could feel it's weight press into me from every angle, I fought to not look as suffocated as I was.

This moment, just a step away from the table, this moment would define everything- what I was back for, why I was back. Did the prodigal return to collect her inheritance then leave? Be part of the family? Take her place?

I shrugged my jacket off, got on one knee and bowed into the ground, forehead against concrete. This wasn't war, I remembered the Family, I was back as their Child. If they let me into the Table, humbly, I'd appreciate that.

Krista was the one to confirm, you may proceed. The room got colder, quieter- I didn't know that was possible- I thought I could hear my own blood flow in the frozen ice quiet of it. I didn't toss my jacket back- didn't need to- they'd seen me like this. They'd done this- every single scar I wore was a sign of belonging- every single streak of scar tissue carefully placed- a mark of ownership, of belonging. This was my Family, I didn't hide from them, they didn't hide from me.

The Table had six seats, the Head sat where Kerman sat- eyes following my movements- this predators gaze. It didn't phase me, I wasn't the prey that ran. I was the prey that bared my fangs back and waited.