Neon Lights

TWENTY ONE

He found me by the pool, two nights after that , every inch a god, turtlenecks-and tailored pants. Sometimes, just him and I, I forgot what he was, not in this house. In this house it was in my face, all day every day, exactly who I was talking to, exactly who I'd been frolicking around with, neon colors and cheap scarves.

I'd done little with my time, Liam and I completed out studies over zoom and talked a little. He'd promised no questions asked and stuck to that, I loved that about him. I could see it over the tip of his tongue, I could, but he held it back and I liked him a little more. He wanted to know when I'd go back to class. I said I had no idea, but soon . He'd watched the news, he was the type to keep up, and all he said was to 'pass my condolences' . He missed me. I found, surprisingly,  that I missed him too.

He dipped his toes into the water, the blue over his already ghostly skin making them seem unreal. There was something about this house, something about him in this house , this wall between us, thicker than when we'd first met. He handed me a cup of cocoa, I smiled and set it aside.

"You're cold?"

"My skin wasn't meant for this weather. Thank you"

He nod that away. He didn't look at me, not once, I was almost glad for it. I didn't know how to be, who to be, what my role was. The only clear thing about the future was I'd be leaving in less than two months.

"Are you okay?"

"I mean. You're more susceptible to not being okay, aren't you? It was a beautiful ceremony, and, my condolences"

He took it in a nod, we sipped in silence for a few minutes. The flourescent lights cast the right shades for relaxation, but none of us seemed to buy into it. This was the most tensed I'd been, next to him.

"Do you think I'll do a good job?"

"I don't know. I've no concept of what you are as a businessman, but I do think you were meant for it"

"Business?"

"The top. You're built for it"

He allowed a little smile at that, I pretended to not see it.

"What did she have on you? What's your kryptonite? What made you cross an ocean into my house?"

"What makes you think there's one? Maybe I did it for the money. Lower class kid here"

"Please don't bullshit me. Please don't think me a fool, Clara"

"I never have. "

We watched the lights dance over the water,  or at least,  I did.

"Clara"

"We go back, Laila and I. We have, history. She tugged at that. It was an easy yes, the benefits were so clear and the workload so little, I'd be a fool to by pass it."

"What was it. She's my mother, I know her. She had something on you, what was it?"

I chuckled, he was right.

"What did she have on you? Why did you stay locked in a little tower following rules you hated from a woman you hated more? Why didn't you take your place? Why haven't you had surgery yet? What does she have on-"

"Videos of my siblings molesting me."

Oh.

Oh.

Shit now that was one dirty trick,even for Laila- and that wasn't half as shocking as the ease at which he told me. Did he not care if I knew? Did he want me to know? Why had he said it so easily? Why, trust me, like this? He knew better. He knew to never trust, he knew what it meant, now. To be him.