Neon Lights

FOURTEEN

"Oh my God. Oh God. I'm orgasming right now, ugh-"

I pushed him, ignoring the looks his moaning garnered us. Liam Kim was something else, a ray of sunshine, a beautiful, funny thing. He eyed my car like a piece of meat and I let him.

"Are you dry humping my car right now Mr Kim?"

He nod, undisturbed, sipping on his coffee "jokes on you if you don't. That's sexy if I've seen it. Oh my God, I could just-"

"Get in" He was the first boy after Alex in the car, at least for the period I'd had it. He'd begged, I mean begged to be in it, and I liked him enough to let him sit on the driver's side "carefully. And drop yourself off at your apartment"

He moaned when the engine roared. I sighed, sipping the last of my cup.

"I am so jealous of you , God. The things I'd do to-"

"Liam"

He made a show of zipping his lips shut, I nod in appreciation. It was, nice, this thing- normalcy. Walking out of class with someone. Getting coffee together. Dropping him off at his apartment. Just, talking. Liam Kim had become an integral part of the last two days, he sat next to me in class and made the funniest jokes. His friends casually adopted me and I was in a group chat with some, choice characters. He made everything lighter, better, and now that Alex steadily spent his time avoiding me he filled the gap. Well, no one could fill the gap left by Alex, but he filled a gap I didn't know I was lacking- friendship. It'd been so long since I had a friend, so long, this was, pleasant.

"Hows your boy?"

I shrugged, "he's still mad at me"

He glanced at me. I sighed " its, I don't know. It was a pretty big deal, I'll be surprised if he ever does forgive me, you know?"

"You're friends, right?"

"Not, exactly "

"Not friends. Not your boyfriend. Crush then?"

I thought about it. Was it a crush? I cared for him, that much I knew, a lot more than one cared for a boss. But what was that.

"What do you call it when you're constantly aware of how attractive someone is but there's stuff stuff"

"Stuff?"

I nod "It's, kind of my job to care about him, at least it was. And I do, but it's. I don't know how to be around him, and I don't want to, but when he is around I don't mind it. He's, beautiful. It's, disgusting. But also, he's. Smart. Very smart, you know? A weird amount. And, resilient, very. He's so quick to adapt and kind, at least to me, and he's so mysterious and withdrawn but those are more of observations, right? Than attraction. Its, confusing".

Liam Kim said nothing for a moment.

"Do you want him to rail you?"

I almost choked on air. He chuckled.

"So many filters, Kim. Such a gentleman "

"Pleasure. Well, do you?"

I thought about it. I'd never thought about it before.

"I don't think so"

"Kiss him?"

That was easy "sometimes"

"Would you marry him"

"No".

"I think that's called a schoolgirl crush"

"It's normal, right? You said it yourself, he's beautiful. And he looks like that with that stupid body of his, I'm not made of stone"

He made the most elegant turn around a corner I'd seen. There was a brief blanket of silence around us, but unlike with Alex where it was always tense, Kim made it simple. The power balance made it simple.