Neon Lights

FIFTEEN

I told Kim about it. In fact it's all we talked about the next class, according to Liam tea took priority to studying- its better served hot. I loved him. It was a crash friendship, happened so fast, but so beautiful. So, open. He felt like something I'd never had before, like warmth and peace. We took it to a Cafe after class, I would never repeat the car mistake, in fact now I was oddly aware of the fact that Alex could just- listen in- and was oddly embarrassed about it.

"You don't eat egg?"

I pointed to the yolk, still yellow and wet "that chicken could still be alive"

"Oh you eat them overcooked, like a stone"

"As they should be, yes. That thing can still hatch, Kim"

He shot me that smile. We sat by the road, the cafes warm ambience so beautifully normal, I'd lost sight of what normal was like for the past few months. Coffee with a friend and cheesecake. That, that was normal.

Or whatever normal people do, like in the movies.

"So, your boy that you read so wrong and accused of impotence-"

"Now, I did not, i-"

"You said he doesn't want to rail you"

I bit into my cake to avoid that. He was, open- Kim. I appreciated that. Didn't mind it a bit.

"I said i don't- can we not? I need help here"

He nod, sipped quietly.

"So, like a summer fling, right? That's what he said basically. For your remaining time. Do couple things, without being a couple"

He made it sound simple. Thats why him. We should've talked sooner. A lot sooner than this.

"Well, without the physical part basically. He said one of us has to be sane and it has to be me"

"So he is impotent. Poor guy. It must be-"

"Kim"

Sent me that smirk of his. I smiled back. The music poured softly from the speakers. We sat in silence , eating.

"Sounds like a good deal to me, if you don't get lost in it"

Eyebrow arched. He pretended not to see it. Cars flew by through the glass windows.

"Really?"

He nod. I watched, fascinated, as he managed to eat the half alive chick without spillling- with chopsticks. Fascinated.

"Why not. You're only young once. It's like, experimenting, right, what relationships can be like. Dating. All that, and with someone you're attracted to, right? And no sex for whatever reason means less bonding. And you get to make your not friend not boyfriend happy- you care for him, right? Mutually beneficial. Where is the lawyer in you?"

Use me. Do you know what a man like me could do for a woman like you?

"How do I protect my heart from it?"

"By being practical. Clara, women like you can't afford delusion. I don't know your story, but we can be real- the world wasn't made for you. If youre- here. Like this. In that uni. In that car- it's by being smart. Your dad could be Obama and you'd still have to wrestle for the opportunities you have. Noona-" he did the thing, the thing where he got all serious, all sharp angles and straight postures "I like you because I know you without knowing you. We are alike, you and I. We lock in and aim. If you're this far you're a pro at it. He's just a boy"

"What if he's not just a boy"

He pointed chopsticks at me.

"Then make him. Don't get lost in it, Noona. Summer fling. Ends in months. Be happy, make him as happy as you can. Get what you want and give him what he wants. Then go home, file that to Fun Times and pass the damn bar"