Neon Lights

TWENTY FOUR

Here's what days with Alexander at the beach house were like, I woke up before he did, made us both breakfast, took a swim and usually by the time I was getting back he was done with breakfast , I freshened up and we got to work. He wasn't joking, he did work a lot- and now that the gauze was off and he needed to stay of blue lights and any bright lights I was back to being the designated assistant. I didn't hate it, not one bit. I'd never hated anything about Alexander, I wasn't sure if that was even possible. I felt like a part of it, of the Moon Ga empire- he took his time explaining when I asked and sometimes when I didn't know what to ask, he found words for both the question and answer. I found I liked it, the idea of corporate- I'd never worked in corporate before that, it'd always been diners and part time,  like a normal teenager. Now that I had a foot in, though, I realized I'd made the right career choice, if I were ever to have a career this was such a great fit. I liked the law, I found that I liked how it felt, to know how to uphold, break and get away with breaking the law, and now specifically corporate. It took us hours, to maintain this image of a man outside the country working while healing from grieving his mother. He told me about all his competitors,  about people working to take his place, this he asked me about- I found that I liked helping with that. I was a pretty scary person when I thought of it, I'd been raised by my father and well enough. I loved that he asked me. I loved answering. I loved spending hours reading pie charts and reports (thank God they had an English version). This is what I wanted, now that I allowed myself to want- the push and pull, the fighting for dominance, the elitism of corporate cycles. I really was my fathers daughter.

When we had free time- rarely- we played board games. He beat me at chess every single time, even without actually seeing the pieces. His mind was a beautiful thing, I gathered, if he could beat me at chess and Go and Checkers and let's not even talk monopoly. He was something, a formidable opponent- sharp mind and smart moves- unpredictable and ruthless. At some point I thought I'd cry, the man could barely even see and he owned me like this. Oh, and the harp- there was one in the room- heplayed beautifully. And apparently violin and piano. I said that's rich boy shit. He asked if it's because I'm poor. We went for another round of monopoly and he had me bankrupt in minutes. How did he do that? Well, rich boy shit,  Clara. Well, eat the rich . Again, permission granted.

Now that I had him, in the day, it was like seeing all of him at once. He wasn't the boy I'd met, invisible in his own house, or the boy I'd met before- battered and ruined and broken- or the boy in tv- beautiful and cultured and tempting- God, so tempting.

He was all of that at the same time and more. He still took too long to shower- we shared a room- and shied from the idea lf being seen naked yet simultaneously so annoyingly confident , shirtless and wet. He was quiet, stealthy- skilled in the art of being unseen and unheard yet he got on his phone to make calls and filled up the room,  posture and voice. He was the boy in TV, beautiful and cultured and God so tempting, but also did the cute thing with his shirt (a lot), preferred to use his hands over cutlery (we both had the same idea about chopsticks: no, although stemming from different places. He had a hard time, with his eyes. I just couldn't understand how anyone could- the food danced around the tips and it was messy and I was an absolute doofus with it, clumsy and unsightly). His laugh was deep, from his chest- so very addictive, so deep and dimpled. His philosophical standpoint was more Machiavellian than Machiavelli himself, he didn't claim morality , or goodness, or virtue. Oddly, I agreed. That was the similarity we shared- we'd led lives that allowed no space for politics, we'd seen the world for what it was, too early. Way too early. He liked mountains more than the ocean- weirdo- and preferred beef & land animals over seafood -again. Weirdo. He was an interesting person, to look at, to listen to, to be with. We didn't have a home workout room in the beachouse and the gyms were a no from the get go, so we created a routine of sorts. I was never the working out type,really, I had those genetics and back at home I played sports, a wide array of them. He was an hour in the gym kind of person, and he craved it, so we'd taken to evening jogs. I hated them, oh I hated them. It'd been too long since I put my body under pressure like that and I did hold (and still will die by) the opinion that training your body, if not for sport or work, is a sign of masochism. Who in their right minds does that? Not Alex no, he had a ton of great qualities, a right mind wasn't one of them and neither was coffee making (black,  no cream no sugar. I'd asked once why not just chew the bean then? He said that's exactly why he fired me). I called Liam when I could, Liam and Jun and Sara and Kenji, my other friends from class. Yes I had a life outside Kim and Alex in Korea, they just matter the most to this. It's not a journal,  if it was, we would need more pages. They asked how my vacation was going. Awesome. Any pretty boys? In plenty, God is good. Well, pictures? I promised I'd send them as many as I could. They were on a road trip, they'd be back to escort me to the airport though.