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Sean POV.

I stare into my own reflection in a broken mirror I punched a few minutes ago. I look down and see my sore, bleeding hand, already bandaged. A single tear drops into a scar and a sting sizzles before dissolving into my skin.

I'm messed up.

A strong grunt leaves my lips as I force myself to look back to the mirror.

I'm really messed up.

The scar Will made is still slightly visible on my cheek and it takes every single ounce of willpower not to scratch it or make it even more worse than it already is. All of my pressure is forced into my hands as they press into the sink below me, droplets of blood dropping once in a while.

I'm so fucking messed up.

Ever since I've tried to get back at Erica, everything has been hay wire. I thought moving out would be a good idea but all that's done is made my life more miserable and alone. Nothing can ever replace the spot Erica used to have in my heart. Without her, all there is a black space. A black, empty space, probably forming into a void. I've also tried clubs and clubbing. Worst mistake in my entire life. Slutty girls have been coming into my apartment, I've been getting into fights and being kicked out, which explains my bandaged hand. Also, being drunk isn't too great either, I mean, the first part at least. Having to down a drink or two with the disgusting flavour of alcohol burning down your throat isn't all sunshines and rainbows as they make it out to be in movies or story books. But after a while, when you're actually drunk, it's ok. Nothing to worry about, especially if you're all alone.

I'm all alone.

I walk out of the bathroom, not really caring about the broken mirror, I can always fix it later. I take a swing of a water bottle that was laid out on my recording desk and I take a seat and just think. My whole life is a mess, I know that, my YouTube channel is slowly fading, I know that. I need to do face cam soon again, I can't do that. I sigh, there's no hope for me at all these days.

I'm not sure how long I was thinking for, but when I look up, it's already getting late.

7:02.

I read the numbers blankly on my alarm clock and decide with myself whether or not if I'm hungry and even if i am, if I should actually eat. Fuck it. Just go to bed Sean.I walk down to my bed and settle down under the covers. Who cares if I haven't gotten changed? It's not like I'm going to impress anyone, besides, I'll just change the sheets tomorrow.

I lay on my side and try to shut my eyes and sleep but I can't.

I feel so sleepy yet my thoughts are still trapping me awake. With nothing else to do, I let my mind wonder off into my own dark thoughts.

You need to get your life together Sean.

You need to find someone else.

You need to renovate your house.

You need to get better.

You will get better.

You're stronger than this.

You used to be attractive, handsome, funny, courageous.

You still are.

Make videos again, Sean.

Look at your fans.

They love you...

You need to love yourself...

My eyes snap open, stopping my thoughts. But if anything, it's only helped me. My thoughts for once have made an impact into my life.

Tomorrow, starting tomorrow Sean, you will get your life fixed.

Get ready Grapeapplesauce, it's going to be very busy, and it's going to take a lot of work, but if anything, you can do it.


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