Saved From Certain Death By Captain Marvel, Baby Saiyan Masaru Katsuo, Is taken in by and trained by the avengers, But due to both his immense strength and limitless potential he's targeted by multiple villains who want to use his power for nothing...
13 growls in disbelief and anger, then unleashs a blast at Masaru. Carol flies around to block it.
Black Widow: Son, no!
She screams as he takes the hit.
Masaru: (obliviously) Good job, Ma.
Zola: (telepathically) Hmm, unexpected, but not altogether unpleasant. Let's try again, shall we--
A ki blast flies past 13 and arcs around to hit Masaru.
Masaru: Ow!
Cut to Iron Man.
Iron Man: Nobody's killing that idiot!
Masaru: (offscreen) Aw, you do care!
Zola: (telepathically) Ugh, fine! Finish off Iron Man, then Masaru!
Iron Man screams and charges at 13, delivering a few punches and a kick (which makes a squeaky noise) until 13 grabs his arms and twists them behind him, forcing Iron Man to scream.
The screen freezes and turns black-and-white with a slow zoom-in as a Western narrator speaks.
WESTERN NARRATOR: And that's when the billionaire realized that when you grab a bull by the horns...
Cut back as Iron Man continues screaming. 13 lifts Iron Man over his head and--
WESTERN NARRATOR: ...sometimes, he'll take you for a ride.
--throws him onto his knee, nearly breaking his spine in half as he screams some more.
Masaru: Keep it up, guys! You're doing great!
Cut back to Iron Man as his face is covered by 13's hand, his spine still being bent in two by the Android.
DR. GERO: (telepathically) Yes, good! Now hurry and get back to Masaru-- (a lightning blast hits 13 on the back, forcing him to drop Iron Man) Oh my non-existent God...
13 turns to find Thor.
Thor: Hey! You big blue bastard! I'm Thor son of odin!!!
He draws his hammer, charging at 13 and bangs at him, only for his hammer to do nothing and 13 to grab him--
WESTERN NARRATOR: And that's when the Asgardian realized that his hammer was about as useless...
And punch him in the gut--
WESTERN NARRATOR: ...as a screendoor on a submarine.
--and send him flying with another ki blast. Meanwhile, Masaru is whistling "Mahna Mahna" as ♪he's chargin' his attack.♪ The Spirit Bomb is enormous at this point.
Zola: (telepathically) Good! Great! Now stop playing around with the battle-- (13 prepares a T.H. Death Bomb) --and focus your efforts on killing-- (Captain Marvel appears behind him and grabs him by the waist, lifting him up and throwing off his T.H. Death Bomb) --SON OF A WHORE!!!
Super Android 13 elbows Captain Marvel's face and punches her into the ground. He then stomps Captain Marvel's face and--
WESTERN NARRATOR: And that's when the alien nuke realized that when you suplex a robot... you'd better... (the music stops and the screen returns to its normal position as he crumples up some paper) Ah, what the hell am I doin'?
He walks away, and after a few seconds...
--powers up in anger. Masaru finishes his Spirit Bomb and turns Super Saiyan.
Super Android 13, still standing on Captain Marvel, turns to Masaru as the glaciers crumble around him while Masaru takes in the Spirit Bomb.
Zola: (telepathically) Kill Masaru! KILL Masaru!! KILL Masaru BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE!!!
It's too late as Masaru takes in all the energy from the Spirit Bomb... and screams as his force blows away all the glaciers until a crater of water and a pillar of ice with 13 on it remains.
Zola: (telepathically) Oh, this bodes poorly...
The pillar crumbles away as Masaru flies up to 13. Cut to Masaru's terrifyingly disproportionate face as flashes of his terrifyingly disproportionate skull appear as well.
DR. GERO: (telepathically) JESUS CHRIST!!!!
13 screams as Masaru punches a hole into his chest--
WESTERN NARRATOR 2: And that's when the robot realized that he was as dead as a... robot, because... (flips a page as the music stops) robots are technically... not alive by the traditional definition of... D'these people even give a damn anymore?
--and launches him into the air, as his arms and legs are blown off before he completely explodes.
As the explosion clears, a single glacier floats by. 13's trucker hat is seen being carried off by the wind.
Cut to the hospital with an ass-shot of the nurse walking by Masaru and his friends; Black Widow and Hawkeye are bandaged in beds while Gwen, a bandaged Masaru, Thor, Maria Hill and Nick Fury gather around them.
Fury: Hello, nurse!
Hawkeye: Man! Catching Iron Man really fucked my shit up! How about you, Masaru? You seem fine.
Masaru: Yep! Senzu beans healed my nuts up good!
Gwen: Thank God!
Hawkeye: Ha-hey, that's great! So, you got any to share?
Masaru: I kinda needed a few...
Fade Out.
Hank Pym is seen writing code into something, "Soon you'll be the newest avenger..." Hank says
We pan out slowly and see this:
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