GRISHAVERSE X READERS

BUTTERFLY [KAZ BREKKER]

Summary: You find your presumed dead little brother from The Nest when you come to search for your lost pendant.

Stars were bright tonight. You, Kaz and Jordie laid on the roof of your home, taking turns to watch the stars through that little telescope Da had brought from his trip to the town. It was late, Da probably would have wanted you to sleep already. But you would take the responsibility if needed, your brothers were far too endeared about all the constellations and galaxies so you'd stick to their bedtime. You had taken a few throw blankets and pillows with you as you stared at the sky, and you had to admit that it was a good bedtime story of sorts to look at the stars.

It was quiet, a slight breeze blowing through the fields around you, rustling the leaves and occasional crickets chirping being the only sounds there. And of course, you three talking to each other, you teaching astronomy to them. Kaz was wide eyed with wonder, trying to decipher how big the world actually was. He laid in between you and Jordie, his little hands on his belly as his eyes roamed the sky.

"I like the Big Dipper," Kaz giggled. "It looks like a boiler."

"Yeah, I guess it does look a little like a boiler," you smiled and Jordie chimed in.

"See that bright star over there?" Jordie pointed at the twinkling light in the sky. "That's Vega, it's part of the Lyra constellation. One of the brightest stars in the sky. It's about two and a half times as big as our Sun and isn't very far away from us."

Kaz looked at it through the telescope, his mouth forming a little "o" as the new information settled into his mind. The boys talked for a while and you listened to them, feeling happy that you had managed to plant your love for astronomy into them.

After they quit talking for a moment, you shared yet another fact. "Did you boys know that some stars aren't actually stars? They are planets. Some are a dozen times bigger than our own planet."

"Really?" Kaz asked, and you smiled a little more, nodding.

You laid in silence for the next few moments, before you felt something falling down on your shoulder and looked down, seeing Kaz fast asleep. You glanced at Jordie who took the hint, crawling back to the roof hatch with his pillow and blanket, as you scooped Kaz up and carefully carried him through the hatch. Jordie returned to collect the rest of your pillows and blankets, and you tucked Kaz into the bed, kissing his forehead before you stood up, keeping guard that Jordie, too, would go into bed. And after he was under the covers as well, you sat beside his bed, but he rolled his eyes.

"I'm not a baby, I don't need to be kissed goodnight," he playfully scoffed and you pouted.

"Too bad," you chuckled and pressed a kiss on his forehead too, causing him to rub it away.

Then, you left his bedside and made your way over to your own bed in your own little nook behind the curtain, falling asleep not long after.

Kaz Rietveld sat alone under the bridge, with his mind all meddled up, flashbacks consuming his mind. Just hours earlier, he had done the impossible and swam to the shore using his dead brother as a raft, knowing that no one would wait for him at the shore - you probably thought he's dead too and had left the area.

The ground was cold and wet, blankets had been taken away and only your necklace had been left behind - only evidence they had ever been here. Even so, it no longer felt like The Nest. Maybe better so, Kaz thought as he hugged his knees tighter, watching the canal water flow in front of him. Your necklace clung in between his fingers, the butterfly pendant bringing a memory of your bright smile into his mind, when you had seen it for the first time.

"You like it?" Da had asked as he helped to clasp it around your neck while you fingered the pendant with a wide smile.

"I love it." you replied as you spun around, your eyes shifting to your brothers as you opened your arms for them, and soon you all had been hugging.

Kaz had no idea where to go from here, what to do - he only knew he wanted to find Jakob Hertzoon and make him and all those who helped him pay. But he needed a plan, a good one, and he wasn't in a state to do it alone. Not yet, at least.

He saw a shadow being cast over him and slightly flinched as he looked up, seeing a girl stopping a little way from him. It took him a moment for him to glance at your face, and then his eyes widened when he realised it was you - his sister.

"Kaz?" you gasped, taking quick steps toward him, and he stood up as your smile spread into your whole face and tears glistened in your eyes as you lurched forward, enveloping him in a tight hug. "You're alive!"

Kaz let out a sob as he threw his own arms around you, clinging into you and never wanting to let go. He knew he needed your comfort, your warmth, you kissing the top of his head and telling him everything would be alright. You'd tuck him to bed tonight and give him a kiss on his forehead, moving to sit against the wall so he could be splayed over your lap, and you would be stroking his hair until he fell asleep. Just for a moment, he'd feel at home, he would feel comforted, this nightmare wouldn't look like more than that. A nightmare, his will to have vengeance would be pushed further on. Because for tonight, the growing darkness inside him could wait.

But then your touch started to burn his every sense, flashbacks to rotten flesh invading his mind and he pulled back from you, pushing you away harshly. You stumbled back with a frown as Kaz started to rub his skin in order to make that disgusting feeling go away.

"What's wrong?" you asked, seeing Kaz just staring at the distance, breathing heavily. His flashbacks just went on, he smelled rotten flesh, felt it below his fingertips, he was pushed under water - it was Reaper's Barge all over again. From the haze, he saw you trying to reach out for him again and he recoiled back.

"Don't. Don't touch me," Kaz said, his voice shaking as he backed away from you. You retreated your hand, your mouth opening and closing a few times, but you ended up not saying anything. A cold breeze blew through the alley, and Kaz shivered, his clothes weren't exactly the best ones for a weather like this.

"Saints," you mumbled, immediately taking off your coat and gently laying it on Kaz's shoulders, and Kaz immediately welcomed the warmth. You buttoned it up, careful not to touch Kaz and then nodded behind you. "I've managed to get a small room from Eighth Street. Mrs. Drom surely will want to take you in too, she's been a big help during... these days I've thought I lost you both."

Kaz eyed you for a moment before scoffing. "Didn't you learn anything from Hertzoon?"

You sighed. "Mrs. Drom isn't like him. She took me in because she saw I'm cold and shivering. I help her around her shop and she pays me with kruge, and in addition to that, I get to live in her guest room."

Kaz stared at the ground, remembering how Hertzoon had also felt like he's too good to be true. But at the same time, he knew he didn't have much choice, the streets could be dangerous for a little boy like him. He needed to gather strength to have his revenge, to have a plan how to have that revenge, how to find Hertzoon and all those who helped him.

"Fine," he muttered, handing your pendant to you. "But just for a little while."

He already knew he couldn't tell anything about his plans to you. You'd try to talk him out of it, and as much as he loved you, he knew you wouldn't understand what he had lost. Apparently, he couldn't even touch you anymore, he couldn't cuddle up to you in need of comfort. He knew you'd be disappointed when he'd show the bubbling darkness inside him eventually - and somehow, he knew he had to become something you would be scared of once he would grow up.

But for now, he should go with you. Let you be his big sister for some days, or maybe weeks more. Maybe he'd even find some comfort within you, but eventually, he'd have to abandon his old life to be completely reborn...