Enemy of glass

A new side

April 20th, 2018

Chan closes his bedroom door, taking in a deep breath as he tries to get rid of the image that is going through his head. He shakes his head, wanting to think of anything else than that. The white walls, the long hallways, the sound of heels hitting the ground, he doesn't want to think of that, why would those thoughts come back from just seeing a building?

There is a knock on Chan's door, making him snap out of his thoughts. "Chan hyung?"

"I'm fine." Chan mumbles, sitting down on his bed.

"Can I come in?"

Chan looks down at his shaking hands, wanting to say no but he knows Minho isn't going to leave. "Yea.."

Minho closes the door after he enters. "You're fine?" He hums, looking at the older's hands.

"Of course, why wouldn't I be?" Chan tries to act confident, not wanting to worry the other.

"Liar. So seeing that building did nothing to you?" Minho scoffs, looking at Chan as he walks closer.

Chan stays quiet, looking away from Minho.

"For being a gangster, you sure are a goddamn horrible lira." The younger scoffs again, sitting down next to Chan.

"Others will tell you differently," Chan mutters, knowing it's not really a good comeback.

Minho sighs. "Hyung, you can't let our past affect you like this. You have to communicate about it."

Chan huffs, looking up at Minho. "Says you."

"You realize that the rest of us didn't go through the same shit as you and Hongjoong, right? Yeah, it was horrible, painful and traumatizing. But YOU aren't even capable of telling us about everything they did to you."

Chan frowns. "They beat you, tortured you. Jisung got his ribs broken, Woo broke his arm, hell you were electrocuted. That didn't happen to me."

Minho looks at Chan. "Then what did they do hyung? If they didn't physically hurt you, how did they? How did they make you do things? You're not telling me you and Hongjoong just did what they told you out of kindness." He rolls his eyes.

The older roughly bites the inside of his cheek. "It's not important." He doesn't want to tell Minho, he never wanted to. Minho got it so much more, Chan should be glad, shouldn't be this hurt and traumatized over what happened.

The younger sighs. "That's the problem. It is important. Your trauma affects us, our team. We didn't go through the same shit, so you have to tell us for us to understand and help."

Chan lets out a chuckle. "Since when are you the sensible one? Talking about how we should express our feelings."

"Since the moment I saw my leader, my older brother, one of the only people I would give my life for, panic because of a building. A stupid fucking building that slightly looked like the one we grew up in."

"Sorry." Chan mutters, flinching as a memory of Minho getting tortured flashes through his head.

Minho frowns. "How long have you been having flashbacks?"

Chan bites his lip, a silent tear running down his cheek. "They never stopped..."

"Shit-" Minho mumbles, hugging the older.

Chan closes his eyes, wrapping his arms around Minho. "It's okay."

"No, it's not." Minho scoffs. "I can't believe you've been hiding his from me."