BTS Eighth Member | The Life: Year 2017

Chapter 41- The Magic Shop is Still Here

April 18th, 2017:

We were back in Korea rehearsing and perfecting our performance given it had been over a week since we'd performed. It was late now, and Namjoon had called all of us to the table in the lounge instead of allowing us to go home to get some sleep. The boys seemed a bit confused, but I knew what this was about.

"So, I know you're all tired, but there's something we have to talk about," he says, looking around seriously, "Yoongi hyung's told Y/N about Daeseong and –"

"What? I thought we were going to do it together?" Seokjin said looking dismayed.

"Yeah, after the trip," Jimin adds, sending a confused look at Yoongi who said nothing.

"Regardless of what happened," Namjoon steps in, "it's done, and Y/N knows–"

"How are you taking it?" Hoseok turns to his left to look at me concerned.

"I mean... I..." I pause trying to collect my thoughts, "Honestly, at first, I felt a bit betrayed. You guys know how much I hate it when you keep things from me and this was a big thing, which even more honestly, I feel is more of my business than anyone else. I hope Sejin oppa knows that next time the lawyers call, I'm the first to find out. But as for you guys... I know you had the best of intentions and I can't fault you for that. I'd have probably protected the happy times too," I pause, biting my lip emotionally, "I think the main thing I've learnt from this is that I... I have to apologise–"

"Why are you apologising," Yoongi interrupts, rolling his eyes, "you have to stop doing that".

"I'm serious, I do because I completely just overlooked how much you guys have been struggling and having to deal with because of the court case. I went in wanting all your opinions because I knew it would affect you and then kind of left you all hanging after. It was wrong of me. No," I say pointing to Namjoon who had opened his mouth to speak, "even if I know you guys are going to be like "no of course don't apologise. You're the one that's been going through it the most. I wouldn't expect you to" but I expect it for myself. We are a group and I feel like I let you guys down and I'm so sorry for that. Please be honest with me and let me know if you want to talk or whatever. I'm here. I'm mending, and I want to be there for you guys too. I know it's affected you guys so don't lie".

Silence reigns with all the boys shooting each other looks, daring each other to speak up first.

"I wanna start by saying that you are right, we wouldn't expect you to have listened to our issues because, yes, yours were so much bigger," Namjoon ends up speaking first, "but we won't lie and say that we weren't affected, but no, we never expected you to check-in. We all handled it in our own way and I think we're all in a good place now... I hope?"

He looks at me quizzically.

"Yeah, I think I am," I nod, "I hope it stays that way. I desperately want it to and hopefully, he stays in his lane, and I stay in mine, and he never has to take up space in my mind again. He's done enough damage; I don't want to be the one giving myself more by being scared or paranoid".

"I think that's how we all feel," Seokjin nods, "we've moved on and won't let him butt into the amazing stuff that's been happening. Like have you guys seen? We're blowing up. He got his five minutes of fame and you've just grown bigger. With all due respect... f*ck him".