The beginning of forever

18 - What you think I deserve.

Freen's POV

As I hastily left the restroom, I began searching for my sister in the crowd. My footsteps were heavy with the weight of my actions.

In a hushed, remorseful tone, I whispered to Irin, "I've done something terrible to Becky. Please forgive me. Take care of her and drive her home." My plea was a desperate attempt to make amends, to ensure that Becky would be supported and safe in my absence.

Without waiting for my sister's response, I made my way to the parking lot. My head was clouded with a storm of emotions, and I needed space to process the whirlwind of thoughts that had taken hold of me.

Behind the steering wheel, my grip tightened as I sped away from the venue.

"Stupid, Freen!" I shouted in frustration, the words escaping my lips as I clenched my fist and delivered an angry punch to the steering wheel. The car's engine hummed, the rhythmic sound as if agreeing with how stupid I am.

My heart felt like an anchor, weighing me down with the heavy burden of what I had just done to Becky. I had let my desires drive me, and in doing so, I had disrespected her in ways I couldn't have imagined.

As I drove through the darkened night, the weight of my actions bore down on me, leaving me with a sense of deep regret and self-reproach. The road ahead seemed endless, mirroring the internal struggle I faced, and I couldn't escape the overwhelming need to make amends, to find a way to heal the damage I had caused.

The days that followed were sheer torture. I longed to talk to Becky, to explain everything and find some way to make amends. However, the truth was that I didn't know how to face her, and the weight of my own confusion was paralyzing.

Becky's messages for clarity flooded my inbox, but I couldn't offer her anything that made sense, let alone ease her pain. So, I did the only thing I could think of – I stayed away and avoided her, a choice that bothered my sanity.

Becky's POV

The days that followed were filled with torment. Freen and I hadn't exchanged a single word. She remained silent, ignoring my messages and calls, which only added to the mounting frustration and confusion in my heart. Each unanswered attempt at communication felt like a fresh wound, a stark reminder of the uncertainty that had become my constant companion.

As the days stretched on, the tension between Freen and me became almost unbearable. We continued our painful silence, with the weight of unspoken words hanging heavily in the air.

Then, one fateful afternoon, our paths crossed in the music room. It was a chance encounter, and I felt a whirlwind of emotions as our eyes met. Time seemed to slow down, and for a brief moment, the entire world faded away, leaving just the two of us.

Freen's expression was a mix of regret and uncertainty, mirroring the turmoil I had been feeling. I took a deep breath and spoke first, my voice trembling, "Freen, we need to talk."

"There is nothing to discuss; it was a mistake, and I'm deeply sorry," she uttered hastily, attempting to make a quick exit from the room.

Her words hit me like a wave of icy water, leaving me momentarily stunned.

I stood my ground, my voice determined but laced with pain. "Freen, I deserve to know more than that. Please, at least give me some clarity on what happened. We can't just leave it like this," I implored, my heart heavy with the weight of uncertainty.

"That's all there is to it," she said, her words tinged with a deep sense of remorse. "Now, please let me pass. I have a class to attend to." Her tone was curt, as though she sought to put an end to the conversation.

I couldn't hold back the tremor in my voice as I asked, "So, are we ending this? Am I no longer your girlfriend?" The question hung heavily in the air, demanding an answer that I feared.

Freen's eyes welled up with tears, and I could see the pain in her face. "Becky, I would never—I would never want that. But if breaking up with me is what you think I deserve, with a heavy heart, I—I will accept," she said, her voice heavy with sorrow.

Her words were a poignant acknowledgment of the pain we had both endured, and it left me with heartache, uncertainty, and an agonizing decision to make.

With what I heard, it was like my entire body fell in avoid, losing all my energy. I dropped my arms which was blocking her way.

Unbeknownst to me, she had already left the room, leaving me standing there, engulfed in the void of our unspoken emotions.

Irin's POV

In my shoes, I found myself trapped between two dear people in my life, both unwilling or unable to divulge the exact details of their distressing dilemma. Becky's heartache and Freen's regret weighed heavily on my shoulders, and the lack of clarity left me feeling helpless.

I observed the pained expressions on their faces and sensed the tension in their voices, but I remained on the periphery of their emotional whirlwind. Their unspoken words and the enigma that surrounded the situation left me with a profound sense of unease.

As a friend and sister, my desire for understanding and resolution grew, and I could feel my patience waning with the mounting frustration. I was torn between my loyalty to both and the overwhelming need to find a way to bridge the emotional chasm that had opened up between Becky and Freen.

So, I gathered the group to plan. I need them, I can't do this alone.

"What's this all about, Hon?" Noey asked me once we were all gathered.

"It's about Freen and Becky," I explained to the group. "I've talked to them individually, and they haven't shared the details of their problem with me. So, I'm at a loss about how to help them."

Engfa seconded, I'm worried about Becky. She's been really upset about whatever happened.

Saint responded, "What if we just allow them to work through their conflict on their own?"

Nam sent a scary gaze to my brother and declared, "Do you see how lost and troubled they both seem? We can't just leave them be. We know they love each other, so whatever this issue is, it must be addressed."

Saint explained, "That's not what I mean. We will not them be, because clearly, they can't seem to fix it.

"Coz they just deal with it individually" Friend interjected.

Saint continued, "Exactly, so I think I think we get them together. They need to have a chance to reconnect to talk it out and work their conflict. Because if they can't get into details of what had happened it means it really just between them. And all they need is a little push.

Author's note:

How do you think the next chapter will unfold? hmmmm