Complicated love *Jay ff*

Dear Garam 💌

Garam POV
Finally, my mothers death date. Been 4 years since she passed away, I woke up in my boyfriends arms "hey beautiful" I rubbed my eyes and smiled "your awake?" He nodded and pecked my nose "I have been for an hour love" my eyes widened.

"Why you still in bed??" He smiled softly "cuz I wanted to stay with my perfect girlfriend" I felt my cheeks heat up as I hid my face in his chest.

We stayed like that for another ten minutes until he shook me gently "baby we have to get ready to go to the cemetery" I shook my head and snuggled in his chest "I don't wanna go~" he pulled me to look at him as he raised a brow.

I sighed heavily and sat up "it's just I get so damn emotional and it's fukin weak I don't want to be seen as fragile anymore, I'm selfish ik sorry" he smiled as he pulled me onto his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Your not selfish your human and your definitely not weak or fragile fuk no your the complete opposite, you've been through soo much my strong girl" he pecked my cheek making me giggle at how ticklish it was "if you don't wanna go we don't have to but I think you'll regret it yourself not going, your eomma would like to see her kids visiting her together" I smiled and nodded as I turned around.

I looked at him as I played with his hair "thanks JayJay, you always know how to convince me to do shit" he chuckled as he rubbed his nose against mine "my specialty" gosh this boy is soo cute I JUST WANNA EAT HIM.

We got up and started to get changed as Heeseung text to meet outside the cemetery at 10am, I went shopping with Jay a few days ago to find a dress just for this occasion.........

Ik my mothers gonna think I grew up to be a slut well her hubby sorta made me one 😁 anyways I was checking my myself out in the mirror like one does when I felt a pair of strong arms wrap around my waist "you look like a fukin goddess" I giggled as he kissed my cheek.

He turned me to face him as he caressed my cheek letting me take a hot second to look him up and down and my oh my do I got a hot boyfie "ready to go?" I looked back up at his eyes and oh those eyes 🤌.

I nodded as he held my hand and walked us to the car, it was a short car journey before we made it outside the cemetery and saw my brothers waving at us making me smile.

We walked over to them and they both hugged me "did you have to bring him?" I chuckled as Ni ki gave Jay the stank eye "yes Niks he's my boyfriend" his face showed complete disgust "I don't understand your taste" and he was then whacked on the back of the head by Hee.

"He's older than you have some respect" I was surprised by Heeseungs words but when he hugged Jay I lost it, tf is happening?!?

Heeseung walked over to me and held my hand "ready?" I smiled and nodded as he held one of my hands and Jay held the other kissing the back of my hand before interlocking our fingers "now I feel lonely" I chuckled as Heeseung grabbed Ni kis sorry ass and we all walked in.

We walked towards my mothers grave and I found my heart rate increasing "hey eomma, it's been a while and look I brought all your kids together. Ni ki and Garam have been getting to know each other, I hope your happy with me eomma I did my best to bring us together again. We miss you" I smiled as Heeseung placed the flowers on her grave stone.

I bit my lip to hold back my tears as I watched Ni ki talk to eomma and then came my turn, I bent down and looked at the picture of my mother "hi eomma I really miss you, a lot has happened in the last year, I've reunited with Heeseung Oppa and met my new brother Ni ki and oh yeah I have a boyfriend now, he saved me from appa. I think you'd really like him if you met him" tears were now running down my face.

I felt a hand on my arm as Jay pulled me to his side "annyeonghaseyo eommoni I'm Park Jongsong, your daughter's boyfriend. If you were here right now you'd be soo proud of your baby, she's grown up to be such a strong beautiful young lady. I hope you give me your blessing to be with your daughter till the day I die" I looked at him and smiled as I rested my head on his shoulder.

We finished up and walked together back to the exit, I was currently holding Jays hand as I enjoyed the peacefulness of the cemetery "you good princess?" I looked over at my angel of a boyfriend and smiled as I nodded "thanks Jay, for always being here for me" he smiled as he pressed a kiss on my cheek "anything for you love" and that's when I realised, he's the man I wanna grow old with.

We were about to leave when Heeseung ran up to us "Garam I said I would give you the letter from eomma soon, well here it is" he handed me a letter as I hesitantly took it "you don't have to read it now but you should open it, it'll give you some closure" I smiled as he hugged me before leaving.

We drove home and were currently laying in bed cuddling together, I was holding the letter as I was debating opening it or not "you should open it, not for anyone else but yourself, I'll go make some food and give you time by yourself" I smiled and nodded as he pecked my lips before leaving.

I looked at the closed letter one last time before slowly opening it..........

Dear my beloved Garam

It's your eomma here, I'm guessing since your reading this my illness won and I've passed on but don't cry, remember I'll always be watching you from above. I wrote each of my kids a letter by now I hope your brother has found Ni ki and your all reunited. I'm sorry baby I'm sorry I couldn't protect you and your brothers, I'm sorry for being soo weak against your appa but please forgive me, you three mean the world to me and even though I'm gone I won't stop loving you. I hope you find someone to make you smile, to make you giggle when no one else will. I hope you find the man I found in Ni kis father and not someone like your appa. I love you baby and I hope you forgive your eomma for all the mistake I made.

Yours dearly eomma

I sniffled as I wiped away my tears with a weak smile "oh god eomma, you were perfect why'd you have to leave us?" I hugged the letter as I lay down and thought of all the memories of me and my mother as I slowly drifted off to sleep.

YOIIIIII DAMN DEEP SHIT
VOTE IF U WANT JAY TO ALWAYS BE THERE FOR U CUZ I FUKIN DO 😭😭