"Its okay, Jaison. You don't have to force yourself to tell me." She cupped his face. It was true she wanted to know but his assurance, loyalty and her love for him was enough for her to be content with life.
"I'm not forcing myself. I genuinely want you to know. You have a right to know." He removed her hands from his face and gently picked her up to take her to their bedroom. Standing for too long was not good for her.
He carefully made her sit on the bed and sat before her giving her his full attention.
"I know everything about your past. Though it would have been better if I got to know about it from you but whats done is done. I wanted you be so comfortable with me that there would be no secret between us. I guess I couldn't provide you that security." He unconsciously lowered his eyes and stared into her lap sullenly.
"Hey! Thats not true. You don't even realise how much you provide to me without me even asking. Sometimes I think that its too good to be true, maybe I'm living in a bubble." She held his face and made him look at her. She wanted to chuckle at how cute he looked with his cheeks lifted up and lips puckered out but stopped herself. He slowly returned her gaze." I feel like I must have done really good deeds in my past life to be with you in this one. So don't ever doubt yourself. Okay?" Her voice became firm as she continued. On not recieving a responce she cupped his face more and leaned him closer." Okaay?"
He nodded timidly.
"Good and you know the reason why I didn't want you to know about my past. There wasn't anything worth remembering. So now if you feel comfortable you can tell me." She scooted closer to him, her hands now holding his in assurance.
He sighed deeply.
"Honestly, I don't know from where to begin. I still remember the first time I saw Han Mirae. A cute little seven year old in a fluffy pink dress. I was awestruck." He looked up to see any kind of reaction from his wife. She smiled in encouragement and increased the pressure on his hands ushering him to speak further." She was my neighbour and her dad used to stay away for job purposes so she stayed with us most of the time. Initially I used to get jealous of her, she took half the time that my mum was suppose to spend with me. I slowly started to get used to her presence in the house. Spending time with her I actually realised she wasn't a bad demon who would take my mother away from me. She was the opposite. An angel." He smiled as an image from the past flashed before his eyes. Her memories started to blur away with time. He only remembered bits and pieces of how she looked as a child or a teenager.
"When I was 14 things started to change. My perspective of looking at her had changed entirely. She was a becon of light sprouting so fast and brightly that I couldn't help but be drawn to that light. Two years. Two miserable years of keeping my feelings to myself. Then I just stopped giving a damn about the consequences and confessed to her." He suddenly laughed heartily. A small smile crept on Akira's lips as well.
Even though she felt a sting in her heart watching him speak so highly of another woman but she did not let that be a hindrance. He was opening up to her, tearing his walls apart to let her in. She doubted if she could do the same. He was stronger than her. She was so disgusted by her past that even remembering anything about it brought pain. Her life was worth living only till her parents were alive and thriving.
"Her eyes almost came out of her sockets. She got stilled for atleast a minute straight. I was slowly thinking of ways to bury myself alive. Then she suddenly snapped out of her thoughts and said that she needs time. And do you know how long she took?" He couldn't help but raise his voice." Two months. Two fucking months. Only I know how awkward and depressing those two months were for me. Then one day she came to me with a gift and confessed. At first I thought it was just like any other gift but then she said 'I love you as a lover' and I couldn't be happier. I literally took the entire school by storm. That was the first time a teacher had called my house to complain about me." He chuckled." Mum scolded me that day for real but the moment Mr.Kim was out of sight she quickly embraced me into a hug and matched my enthusiasm. Why wouldn't she? She had seen me so low that she started to think that staying away from Mirae was a better option for me." Akira could imagine Mrs.Kim being so supportive. That woman was the reason she was able to have a taste of a good life afterall. She owned it to her.
"After that my life became like a fairy tale. A living paradise. When we made it official in school nobody was surprised. Like nobody. And the best part was that our parents approved of it. My parents and Mirae's dad were fine with our relationship. So there was no need to be secretive or scared of anything. She understood me well. Its not like we never had problems but we were able to overcome them all. Life was great."
"Then what went wrong?" She couldn't hide her curiousity. If his life with his first love was a bed of roses then what happened for their relationship to go downhill. There was no one who tried to play villain to their story. Then what led to their break up?
She saw a shadow cross his face but it quickly faded away. He turned her hand and started tracing the lines across her palm. He needed to stay calm.
"Like I said everything was going great but then suddenly Mirae's father was transferred to Germany. He tried his hardest to stop it but it wasn't in his hands. The news dropped like a bomb on my head. It was like I was being harshly pulled out of the sweet bubble I was living in. Mirae had to go with her father. I tried to reason out with myself that she could stay. Why did she have to go? Who was I kidding? If someone asked me to move away from my parents I wouldn't have listened. So I stayed quiet about it. I wasn't used to staying away from her." His breath hitched but he tried to focus on the patting of Akira's hand on his.
"That day came by so soon. The day she had to leave. I was desperate but didn't let it show. She would have started crying if she saw me being weak. I still remember the intensity her eyes held that day. She had gripped my hand like never before almost causing me to shriek. She- she took a promise from me that day. Her voice quivered, her eyes moistened as she said 'You'll wait for me. Right? You'll recognise me when I come back from Germany. Right?' And I promised her in a heart beat. When I saw the plane fly away I felt a piece of me going with her. But I didn't let that get in my way." He took a deep breath in inorder to cover his shaky voice.
"Its okay." She scooted closer to him. She was so close to him that he simply pulled her into his lap. He needed her close. The comfort her presence provided was alarmingly high. She sat on his thighs sideways, her one arm going behind his neck tracing circles at the junction of his neck and head while the other hand wiped a tear drop at the corner of his eye that he was trying hard to keep inside.
"We still talked and stayed in touch through emails and text messages. Phone calls were rare as the time difference wasn't in own favour nor our schedule. So we used to send essays telling each other what happened throughout the day. As time went by we settled in our new life."
"My life took a 180° turn when I turned 19. The man I idolized so much, the man I looked up to, the man I thought was the perfect father, the perfect husband proved me wrong. I walked in and overheard a conversation I wasn't suppose to. I sometimes wished that I never listened to my parents talking that day but deep down I was grateful that I was shown the mirror. The parents who always acted lile everything was fine used to drop their facade when I wasn't around. They fought so bitterly that it shook my belief." His nose flared. Even the slightest of the memory about his father was a curse to him.
"What was the reason?" She asked softly when he didn't speak for a while.
"He cheated on her. Multiple times and never ever apologized. He wasn't even guilty of his actions. He even justified his actions. The man acted entitled!!" The loath in his voice ran deep. He wasn't afraid to admit the fact that he was disgusted by his own father.
"I remember what he said word to word. I engraved those words into my veins and promised myself to never become a man like him. I would become everything he was not and nothing what he was. I didn't even want to take up his legacy but mum forced me. If there is anything that is left between us, which I'm sure isn't that is all because of my mother."
"I vowed to be a man who would be loyal to his future wife. I would never give her a reason for letting a single tear fall from her eyes and would take away everything that caused her pain." He turned to look at her with hopeful eyes silently asking a question he was to afraid to ask.
She smiled. The smile reached her eyes making him want to drown in the deep brown ocean.
"You are Jaison. You are everything you said and more. The best husband one could ask for. The type of man we write about, talk about, dream about, the perfect man. You feel like a person out of a book- A Fictional character. Too good to be true."
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YOU ARE READING
LOYALTY
Romance" Whatever happened in my past doesn't matter anymore . My loyalty belongs to you now. " Two people who were worlds apart but fate brought them together. Both having a past that made them turn away from the world, to not expect anything from the cr...
