729 𝑫𝒂𝒚𝒔 {𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒅}

Chapter 47

I have been staring out of the window for quite a while, lost in my own world. Ross has been blabbering beside me constantly.

I haven't been hearing him. Honestly....I don't even want to hear him now. I would be so glad if he would leave the room and me alone right now. I look at him unmindfully and catch him gazing at me.

"What?" I ask.
"Did you listen to anything i said right now?" he says annoyingly.
"No...sorry ...I was ...i am sorry i couldn't catch you up..." I stutter looking away.

Ross doesn't say anything and instead just turns towards the window and sighs. I don't force the discussion any further.

Alex doesn't turn quiet like this....when I dissociate from the conversation. He starts insulting me instead.
But why?  Ross doesn't treat me the way he does? Instead....he is so soft... so tender.....so patient with me. Even if he is frustrated, tensed in the worst possible way due to some reason he gets extremely cautious when it comes to me.
Fictional world men too does this. Isn't it? They get ruthless and rough to the world to protect the only and only soft spot they have for the woman of their life?

Flashbacks start hitting of the times, Alex would roast me without even knowing me or even my name.
He literally used to call me names. Roasting with love or out of love feels absolutely different. It doesn't hurt and even of sometimes it does, then the person roasting you will instantly connect with your expression and apologize for the same..... isn't it?
But that never happened with Alex? All he did was 'roast' me in his terms which were literal insults in front of everyone in every possible category. Be it my body, my bookworm nature, my hair cut, my sitting style, my response towards the activities in class..... EVERYTHING....
every god damn thing. My presence itself was a cause of entertainment to him.
There were days i would often get angry and then pool those tears of humiliation and leave the class. He wouldn't mind apologising to me for his behaviour. And then there's Ross, who is in a constant tension of making any mistake that would hurt my emotions or turn me into the quietest kid in the class.
I love Alex. I do..... through existing possible cell on my body. But i don't get the same energy back? The graph of ups and downs will exist but  the graph of the efforts and expectations in between me and Alex is always down and then constant? I haven't ever received any affection for one single day till date which will make me think even for once that maybe ...just maybe somewhere deep down, Alex too feels about me the same way i do for him?
But that's just useless. There's nothing when I look back the path I have came across in search of his affection.... outside the four walls of the room.

"Anna. What's . Wrong" Ross mouths with a  serious tone, pushing me lightly to get me back to my reality.