729 𝑫𝒂𝒚𝒔 {𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒍𝒆𝒕𝒆𝒅}

Chapter 23

"We cannot be friends" i said for the last time before turning my head away towards the lake.
"I don't know about you, but for me.....to see you as just some random guy of my school/class/tuition.....it is not possible" i said.

Alex moved a little. I felt his presence shift.
"I don't see any problem though" Alex claimed in a doubtful low voice.

"I can't be friends with you, because friends don't do what we did...." I paused.
"Friends don't look at each other the way we did. they don't look into each other's eyes and find galaxies in them, they don't fall in love everytime the sun softly falls on their faces and turns their eyes a shade browner.
I can't look at you as if my world doesn't absolutely depend on how even the sun doesn't burn brighter than you do.
I can't be friends with you because friends don't know each other like we did. Friends don't know every inch of each other's bodies. They don't know what it feels like to kiss each other and forget that there is a world that is around them. They don't know how it feels to know there is a mole on the small of the other's back, their heartbeats don't fasten everytime the distance between is lessened, even in the slightest........." I continued.
"I can't be friends with you because I can't pretend that every time you walk in the room, my heart feels at ease. I can't be friends with you because I can't bear the thought that now, in a room full of people, you won't be looking for me.
I can't be friends with you because now that I know what it means to love you like lovers do, it is a physical impossibility to tell my heart that the love it harbours for you, has to be dialed down.
I can't look at you and not think of what life would be like, in a home that we were supposed to build together.Because even though friends love each other and immensely so, once you cross the threshold of being more than friends, it's impossible to not be in love anymore.I can't be friends with you, now that I know what it feels like to be hopelessly in love with you......
I cannot love you like friends do, because now, I love you like soulmates do" I paused sighing a deep breath.

Tears rolled down my cheek.I couldn't help myself by stopping those feelings, those words, those emotions, those desires, i felt towards him. I couldn't.

I stood there still, with my cheeks flushed red and completely drenched. I have been crying but didn't make a sound. I don't know whether Alex has been listening to me. I haven't turned whether he is here. It's been more than 5 minutes, i stopped speaking out...but haven't heard anything from him. Maybe.....he is gone. I thought.

Wiping my tears off the cheek, i was about to turn my body,when Alex crashed his mouth against mine.

When did he come this close? I didn't feel his presence this close to me? Was i so lost? Or did he just sneak up?

Alex caressed my cheekbone, moved the loose hanging strands of hair behind my earlobe and said inside my mouth..
"I love you Anna, I love you".

I couldn't help but cry again while he kissed my soul. If he loves me, why does he keep hurting me like this? Why does he always make me feel left out? I don't know. The only thing I know is I love him.

Alex moved away a little and said while looking deep into my eyes.
"I am sorry Anna. I just thought of playing a little with you asking you to be just friends. I am sorry, i didn't understand that you'll be so hurt.... And most importantly....you just said about us. What we actually are. Why we are together....I am sorry. I am so fucking sorry to have made you feel like this"  Alex said in a guilty tone , trying his best to stop himself from crying.

I moved closer to him and hugged him.