Denial

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Kalani
I sat with the kids on my lap and Dave holding my hand "take videos for me please" I said "as Nia fell asleep I got the mic "this was definitely my mama idea I said as the people walking around New York with us laughed I put on xo by Beyoncé the people hand pink and gold confetti falling out the windows "look kids" I said as they smiled as it ended I put on juicy remembering when she used to bump it on the corner everybody sung and raped the tears felt but I didn't feel a thing her friends tapped the glass I waved hypnotize came on and we Posed for the cameras "you got this" Dave said as dear mama came on I felt them lyrics as I looked at her obituary and let it out looked back at her casket "mama got the whole New York outside" he said as I took the pictures "stop the horses I said as I got out many new and old faces hugged me I got my daughters and the woman that helped me when I needed them held them Dave passed Jerome Jabari as the held me I couldn't take it keep ya head up came on he got out and we walked together right next to her casket in the carriage as old faces comforted me I let it out "I haven't seen you in years" my neighborhood aunt said as she embraced me the tears kept falling as she walked next to me I felt all the love but my heart was empty and it felt like nothing could fill it I gave out my number to just about the whole old neighborhood "if you need sky what's something she would say when she was angry" I said on the microphone as changes came on "are you crazy I'll show you crazy don't make me slap yo black ass" they said as i smiled "you didn't even have to be black she would tell you about yourself" my cousins said on the mic "cousinnnnnnssss" I said cheering up a little "cousinnnn" they said as the crowd laughed and took obituaries some people who missed the funeral joined the walk "we all know my mama wasn't no regular angel shes a ghetto angel she probably up there turning up" I said as the crowd agreed I felt the sadness creep up as the older people told me about my mom as pops I listened as Jerome held Jabari and Rah as how do you want it came on we all said awwww sukiski nowww "nah that was really her line" me and Benny said as we danced "heyyy booo kisses" I laughed as the blew fake kisses "that was definitely auntie" Trey said laughing ....
Our final good bye..
I put my rose on her casket first "I forgive you mama" I said stepping to the side as groups of people came and dropped flowers the ones I remember I got they numbers a our pastor spoke about how much of a joy she was when she was around and said a prayer as the people left they lowered the casket I watched my mother the one I worked so hard for being put in the dirt i cried "come on girl you gonna be so depressed if you sit around and cry" they older women said helping me up they prayed over me as I prayed with them "make sure you remember me ms Vicky" she said holding me as I saved her number "I remember I used to hang out in your building" I said as she wiped my face "yes now how would your mama feel watching you cry your little heart out all around New York" she said laying my head on her chest "she'd probably crack jokes the whole way" I said as she laughed just like her I got chills "you make sure you call me" she said holding my had "I will thank you" I said hugging her as she embraced me I felt at peace knowing this is what she wanted "I got the kids let me know if you need anything" Danella said holding me I hugged her back "you sure you got them we all lost someone" I said as she smiled "I've been at peace since I spoke to sky" she said smiling rubbing my back...
The ride home
As we passed through time square they had my mama on the big screen I played like she was still alive in my head "you sure you don't wanna cancel anything get some time to grieve" Dave asked as I laid on his chest "like a vacation" I said as I heard my mother encouraging it in my head "yea time to relax and clear your head you need it" benny said kissing my forehead I hugged him I was always strong for him "I guess so where we going" I asked "hush girll" Benny said as we finally pulled up "I like y'all outfits" I said finally catching on that the men wore gold and the woman wore pink "so we the 3 extra hoes with both colors huh" I said laughing "I dead realized that too and she gave us mics she just knew we was gonna be extra" Trey said "I look the fuck good" I said smiling "ohhh this is really nice on the outside" I said pining the address "cover your eyes Lani actually Dave cover them up real good you was in on this too" Benny said smiling as he covered them they led me in the house "Liyah you knew about this to bitch" I ask as she laughed "alright 3 2 1" they said with my moms cook book and a slide show of videos and pictures of her they had all types of food and her favorite cake "I hate all of you" I said crying happy tears "we love you to" they said hugging me I thought about Rico he avoided everyone...
Rico
"Pops I got you some cake and a plate" I said as he smiled and we sat and watched the news we saw her and the walk "we did it joe" I said laughing as he laughed and ate "make sure you call me if anything" I said ask he hugged me "you still gonna let me see the babies" I asked falling in love with the bond I had with the kids "of course you're really like a father too me I I didn't have you and all these supportive people around me I don't know what I'd do" I said as he patted my head "probably blow up half New York call people outside to fight sit on the edge of a bridge I don't know you've chosen violence a lot" they said "but you have changed a lot" Liyah said as Dave agreed "I guess so" I she said giving me her phone and one of her blankets she wrapped herself in the blanket as we left out the whole family and a few close friends came by "Dad I know what you finna say but I need my space" lani said as I kissed her forehead "I do but If I have to put you both over my knee again I will" he said soundingf fed up with our feud "you got it pops" I said as her and rayan stared each other down she left...
The week after
Kalani
Everytime I woke up I saw headlines of my mom everywhere I slept to make it go away most of the week and spent time with the kids here and there since the kept asking about my mom I had been keeping my room door locked I looked around the dark room as I heard the door being broken I didn't care who it was "get up come on you need some air" Dave said opening the curtains as the sunlight blinded me Liyah and most of the people from the funeral took the flowers that I let die out "you can't just lay and be depressed around more death" my cousins said helping me up they gave me a teddy bear the had my mothers laugh and heart beat I just looked at them like they was crazy as I walked to the bathroom I saw them packing my bags I gave them a confused look and continued sitting in the bathroom looking around since I hated being on my phone everyone wanted me to say something I felt Dave hug me "you had me thinking all types of crazy shit" he said rubbing my head checking me like he was crazy "I'm good I'm perfect" I said shaking my head "not that good a week no contact no texting had us think the worst" Benny said as i rolled my eyes "girl we love you you can't be doing that" Trey said hugging me tight as Benny and Dave agreed we all looked at Dave...
Liyah
"You think she gonna be okay" Benny asked as we watched Dave and lani drive off "nope she's in denial really bad" Trey said as we went upstairs I thought about it "let's hope she keeps her hands to herself for the first few days until we can get there" I said "In paradise " he yelled as he shook his ass "now let's get this apartment together honey" I said looking at the fridge "it's not bad it's just not lived in" Trey said "so much death surrounding us" he said as he organized it I got a text Dave said he got her to smile "yall come look" he said as we saw how much she was back drinking "oh no" I said under my breath....
Dave
"Why these people staring at me" lani said putting her head down "cause we are the hottest topic and I think they wanna talk" I said as the females approached her they hugged her and she smiled awkwardly as they asked for pictures she took them "I hate this do we have to go straight to the beach" she said wearing the most covers up cover up you could imagine "yes grams" I said as she looked back at me I couldn't help but to laugh at her big hat huge sweater and big glasses "you tryna say I look like a grandma" she said smirking as I shook my head "this grandma gets niggas" she said laughing as I picked her up "what niggas" I asked as she shook her head I put her down and we heard the older woman laughing at her sweater I laughed myself cause I told her as she got a call "Heyy Ms V" she said smiling "hey baby what are you wearing" she said laughing "it's not giving ms v I know" she said "I was just was gonna tell you shake sum ass for me you better take it off and send me some good pictures so I can post them my daughter I never had I love you" she said as we laughed she hung up as she took it all off it was like the whole beach stoped what they was doing to get a sight I mugged the men looking at her ass she laughed I picked her up and took her by the water she looked me in the eyes I could tell she was still sad but I was planning to fix that "what you thinking about" she asked as I hugged her "what we finna do out here" I said as she smiled "you not giving up huh" she said as I sat down with her ontop of me "nope I like you a lot" I said as she got up she started throwing sand on me I let her I always knew had a crush on her and she knew it....
Kalani
"Can you move" I asked as I stared at him under the sand "why you buried me" he asked "because I wanted to and so I can do this" I said sticking up the middle finger dancing around him as he broke free I ran away as I ran I thought about what I was doing with him and something's my mama told me about moving on and how I shouldn't miss out cause I wanna be in my feelings "ugh bye mama" I whispered as I tripped he caught me as we fell in the water I looked up and rolled my eyes at the sky I laughed I felt a good feeling "the water feels real nice" I said as he took my bun out my hair curled up I splashed him and he hugged me closer "why you being so touchy" I said as he smiled "cause this feels right" he said kissing my cheek I smirked as we got out the water he watched my every move as the other men watched me he touched the sand and then my but I laughed "take this video for me" I said as I shook my ass for her she always told me be the best at what I do "this is for you Ms V" I said as Dave laughed I got my phone she had 10 boys and I was her only daughter in her eyes she kept me out the club most nights took  we walked to the car "why you never let me see the inside of the place we sleeping at" I asked as he laughed...
Rayna
"Well it looks like your not pregnant I'm sorry" the doctor said showing me a negative pregnancy test "I can't believe this" I said not feeling sad or happy "so it was a false positive" Jay said as I got ready to go "yes I'm so sorry" she said as we walked out to the car"are you okay" he asked as I played with my hands "I fucked up" I said crying breaking down he took my hands and kissed my forehead "time is gonna fix it" he said as we got in the car I thought about calling lani as i cried my heart out "what if she never speaks to me again I wasn't thinking I only said sorry for saying and not doing I didn't mean for her to die" I said as he rubbed my back I couldn't bring myself to call her....
6 months later
"We got Ms Brown sugar just walking in the house" the interviewer said hyping her up "Heyy y'all" she said sounding excited "my condolences you stronger then you think I heard you started working a few weeks after before your year hiatus" he said "yess my mother was my biggest motivation she told me keep going no matter what" she said laughing sounding aggy at them bringing it up"so I heard well seen you in the Bahamas coupled up you dropped all these kisses this album is coming and the tour has so much buzz you did your thing for both shows your man shouted you out the whole night" he said side eyeing her as she smiled "listen stream fate support me and the tour you seen me in Miami and New York" she said keeping it professional "oh you gooodddd what's tea on you and ray- "nope no tea no shade" she said looking down "y'all sisters by law and street code at this point" the other interviewer said "yea shit that's life" she said as everyone agreed"now the people wanna know" the other interviewer asked "what's your relationship status would you ever date Jerome again will you become a full time artist or start back on your videos are you coming back to the limelight" he asked as lani looked around "and I got a mutha fuckn question why tf is everybody in my business sike um well y'all seen me so whatever it looks like it is hell no like never ever again hell no I'm sorry but why y'all always ask no music is not my concern right now and yes i actually have a few me and Liyah just got started on" she said smiling...
Later on that night
Kalani
"They done turned me into a meme I just came back" I said shaking my head as Dave laughed on the phone "what you doing" he asked as I showed him the sleeping kids and he smiled "beautiful kids" he said looking like he fell in love again "your son looks just like you" he said sounding softer "thank you baby" I said smiling as they held me closer I fixed the blanket on them and got comfortable with them since I knew I wasn't gonna move I stole they snacks and put on Netflix "you look amazing good in mommy mode when we making it official I know we together but I'm tired of beating around the bush you be acting like I'm a secret you my woman" he said making faces "uhh okayyy" I said laughing feeling my heart pounding "we already been official since the last day in the Bahamas so we 7 months deep" he said as I smiled "yess my man I love my mannn" I said smiling at the thought of him "I love you to" he said sounding tired "get some rest I'll call you in the morning" I said as he yawned "I'll call you early I love you good night bae" he said "good night bae I love you" I said hanging up thinking about what I just said back "aww" Liyah said coming in smiling snatching the snacks as I laughed she gave me a hug and some baked chicken brown rice and string beans "may god bless you" I said kissing her hand as she sat with me I sent a picture of the kids to pops and ate as the next movie came on Liyah fell asleep on the couch and I sat up...
Liyah
"Good morning girl" lani said up early "good morning where the kids what you making" I asked "school I made cheese eggs sausage and biscuits" she said as I mugged her "make me one" I said as she smiled she smiled back "what happened with you last night girl" she said as I looked at her "I came to check on you know you put the kids in school in Miami and gave up your apartment up to Benny and Trey and everything" I said as she gave me a cup of tea we drunk it and I checked my schedule "I can't go to new York until I'm fully ready" she said as she took the biscuits out the oven she put honey over them I felt my mouth watering she got at call "good morning bae" she said putting butter on it took everything in me not to steal the pan "good morning baby what you doing up so early" he asked as I came closer to the first plate as she turned them into sandwiches "cooking and I just sent the kids to school" she said showing him the plate as she gave it to me I smiled and ate it "I thought y'all was on a diet fr this time" he said laughing "man when lani cooks fuck a diet" I said laughing "I feel you she needs to cook for me again" he said as I laughed....
2 weeks later
Dave
"You've been gone for the longest" lani said laying down "I know I missed you I'm working on getting something special" he said as she groaned "what you got" she asked as she reached for her remote "a house closer the I know the kids break is coming up we been coolin" I said as she smiled "when you coming home mr world wide the kids are with grandpa for the night" she said tempting me as she showed me some heels and stockings she let her leg fell gently next to her ear I sat up and brung my phone closer as she stroked her leg she got up and showed me what she was wearing for the show later on tonight "you got headphones in" she asked as I turned my head she smiled and put on sex room as I bit my lip as she set up the phone she walked to the pole and gave me a private show I booked my ticket on my computer as she continued I felt my shit throbbing as she showed off how flexible she got I packed my bag as she finished I sat back "what time your show starts" I asked as she smiled "oh shit i totally forgot my bad bae she said sending me the flyer I smiled seeing her in something more Lacey "when you took these" I asked as she sent the pictures fuck I thought adjusting my pants....
Liyah
"Girll look at you" I said as lani stepped out the car our supports called her name she hugged me and hugged them and took pictures she smiled and blew kisses she her ride park another black car popped out "who the hell" we said in sync as we took pictures she opened her black trench coat as Dave hopped out the girls went crazy as lani looked up she smiled as i smiled I step to the side and she flexed her abs and leg as the men went wild he walked up to her and kissed her she hugged him and he gripped her ass the crowd went crazy as we walked in "yesss I missed you" the owner Patrice said as we looked around "where the special guest that's performing" lani asked as Dave hugged her waist and whispered in her ear our girls came in I smiled "alright places" I said said as we heard a bigger crowd then before I got nervous as dexta daps came in with his wife we clapped and got in place he stood i the middle of the rink as the people came in faster then we could count as the music faded in we danced around lani as owner faded in he sung and lani danced and we circled around her we made a path way to see her as a she did one of the dances I taught her she put her own twist as she whined up her waistline we followed and put our own twist but stayed in sync as the song ended lani and Dave kept eye contact we continued skating around her as she took off her trench coat we moved the heaviest pole I've ever moved Locked it and danced in to our sides as weak to you came on she walked on the air as the song started we heard cheers as she turned her body into art as he said give me all of you she reached for Dave as she hung upside down and wiped her hair I fell in love with her as a dancer the way Dave looked at her the tension was high
Kalani
We kissed the whole ride to the house by time we got in the door clothes was coming off our hands were all over each other we went to the extra bedroom "fuck I missed you" he said as we made it to the bed "I missed you to daddy" I said in his as he sat down with no hesitation we started fucking straight eye contact and loud moans "you been keeping it right for daddy huh" he said staring at my waxed cat as I rode him "of course baby" I said coming closer as he kissed me I felt my eyes watering as the strokes got deeper and more passionate he held me closer and looked me in the eyes "you love me" he asked as I groaned "yess I love you so much" I said meaning every word I said he was the first to apologize even if I was wrong he supported me in everything I did "I love you so much" I said as he hugged me closer I moaned in his ear until we both came I looked at him as I saw the way he looked at me I felt butterflies in my stomach as he carried me to the bathroom.....
Dave
"Let me guess you finna go again huh" lani said as gave her some flowers and kissed her "not until later on" I said as she smiled and rolled her eyes as our kids made noises she smiled and rolled her eyes lani and the mother of my kids got along perfectly well so well she decided to let the kids come to Atl more often and Jerome was out on tour so the kids got to meet and get along perfectly I rubbed her flat stomach and thought about having a son since I've been around Jabari I've fell inlove with teaching him how to play ball "ummm it's pancakes in there not a baby" I said as the kids looked "a baby" they said smiling "no sorry just pancakes" she said as they frowned "see you hurt they feeling" I said laughing as she got up and hugged them "lets go to the zoo" my oldest said as they agreed "matching outfits" the girl said in sync me and lani looked at each other creeped out "what about me" Jabari said as i smiled "come on let's get drippy" he said as he smiled I found our matching outfits lani got the girls ready...
Rayna
"Auntieeee" the kids said running up to me as I saw lani and Dave his kids hugged me too "Heyy" they said to Rah "what's up bro" Jay said dapping up Dave me and Kalani looked at each other then around she looked at my stomach and looked like she wanted to speak but she didn't I looked at her again and "the kids took our hands we became a group and things got really awkward Lani walked to the front with the girls and I stayed in my own lane "come auntie" Nia said sounding like sky I came and she made me and lani hold hand "it's not nice to not speak to each other" she said as we looked at each other "hello Rayna" she said sounding forced "Heyy lani" I said happy to speak to her "mommy be nice please" Nia said smiling "I will you go look at the animals with uncle " she said kissing her face "what's up with you" I said as she looked up "nun much just chilling" she said as I wanted more detail I went from knowing her every move to not talking with her at all "you" she asked "found out I wasn't pregnant moved here and I'm working on a girl now" I said as the kids came back with snacks we reached our hands out at the same time....
1 year later
Dave
"Just let me know when you get home I love you dad" she said getting emotional they were just going to school for a few more weeks "I love you too love bug happy early birthday baby" he said kissing her forehead my girls went with their grandma for a few get togethers so it was just us "I love y'all so much call me when y'all get there "make sure y'all call me every night" she said as I hugged them "wee will my mommy bye D" they said as the door closed she waved and watched the car drive away I hugged her and held her stomach she gave me that look "we should have us a baby" I said as she smiled "a baby" she said as I kissed her cheek "we got tickets to the Bahamas" I said since we didn't celebrate her birthday last year cause she wanted to be stubborn her day was coming up and I wanted to do it the right way no matter what "aw I'm still not celebrating my birthday" she said walking towards the door "bae I'm not playing with you we are doing this" I said as she laughed....
Kalani
"Well you shouldddd listen and goo have fun celebrate your dayyy it's coming soon" she said sounding like she was up to something "ugh hushhh I'm stressed enough he's so serious" I said laughing "where he at now" she asked as I flipped the camera he was sleeping in between my legs with Breast in his face "girlll you put him to sleep" she said laughing "had too I'm dead set on not celebrating it" I said as I got comfortable "yess your doing ittt I seen you and Rayna at the zoo" she said as i rolled my eyes "mhhmm she doing her own thing and I'm doing my shit" I said rolling my eyes again "them eyes gonna get stuck I tell you" she said as I laughed "you on birth control" she asksed as I looked "girl of course" said looking in my bag for my pills but found some crayons "girl hold on I think these kids got my pillss" I said as Dave woke up hold up I gotta call you back "wait what they called" she asked I texted it to her and hung up "bae my birth control" I said having to remember if I took it "what about it" he asked holding me tighter going to sleep "what about it it's gone" I said as he woke up smiling he kissed my boob he stretched and got up I got up and checked the kids room I called my pops "dad check the girl's purse and see if you see my birth control and my lipstick" I asked as he did he started laughing "sorry love bug but it's in New York" he said laughing as I laughed but worried about how my body was gonna start back changing and not taking it tomorrow....
To be continued...

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