Risk // Sebastian Sallow

Chapter 38: The Stages of Grief

I sat beside him for a moment as he continued to throw expletives at me, calling me every name under the sun until his thrashing subsided and he was left uttering sincere apologies for his foul mouth.

"I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean any of that. I'm sorry."

While he was less aggressive now, he still sobbed hard.

"Please, take the binds off." He begged.

"No more talking about dying, alright?" I asked, taking out my wand.

"Yes. Yes, I won't. Please let me go, I need to hold you."

"Relashio." I said, pointing my wand at the binds on his wrists and ankles. They fell away, now looking just like a regular rope twisted on the floor.

Sebastian briefly rubbed his wrists, red and raw from fighting against the binds before throwing himself forward into my lap in a heap.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I didn't mean anything I said. I don't want to die but I can't live without her." He sobbed, his chest shuddering as he spoke.

"I know, Seb," I said, stroking his hair gently as I cried alongside him, "it didn't work, you knew you didn't want to. You told me all that time ago, you need to mean it. So I knew you didn't really want it."

"I did tell you that, didn't I?" He said, I felt a small smile grow across his face.

"Yeah. You did."

We shared a very short lived chuckle together before Sebastian's smile was gone and he was crying once more.

"What do I do? How can I just continue to live knowing she's gone? It should have been me... she didn't deserve any of this..."

"I don't know... I'm sorry I don't have better words but I truly don't... but please know I'll be here for you through every step, every tear."

Sebastian nodded as he sniffed back his tears and exhaled deeply.

"Thank you. I don't deserve someone like you." He muttered.

"Don't be ridiculous. Of course you do." I smiled softly as I kissed him delicately on the forehead.

Sebastian stayed in that Room of Requirement all week. And I spent most of my time there too. I left him asleep briefly to check in on Ominis when he was back in his dormitory but he insisted he was fine and ordered me to leave him alone and make sure Sebastian was alright. So I did.

I'd made friends with the elves in the kitchens who were kind enough to put aside two plates of food after every meal for me to collect while we stayed secluded from the rest of the castle. It became our safe space, a place where Sebastian could grieve and heal without the prying eyes of everybody else.

I had made a quick stop by Professor Weasley's office on day two, a Wednesday. She seemed less than impressed when she saw me entering, all disheveled but still in my uniform despite not attending any classes the past two days.

"Just who I had been hoping to see, Miss Raywood. Your attendance lately has been less than impressive. And I hear Mr. Sallow's has been the same."

"Professor, please, let me explain." I began, my voice shaking as I tried to convey the situation as delicately as possible. "It's... it's Sebastian. He's going through something... something really terrible."

Professor Weasley's stern expression softened slightly as she leaned forward, "Something?"

I quickly recounted the events of the past few days, Anne's death, how I had found Sebastian on the verge of casting the Unforgivable Curse on himself, and how I had been trying to help him cope ever since.